Silent Hill 2: This room sucks
by Darkcomet
Summary: Chapter 31 the epic conclusion to the story...how does it end. Read and find out.
1. This room sucks

Chapter 1

This room sucks

Disclaimer: I do not own Silent hill 4 but if I did hmm...

Message from Darkcomet: I'm BAAAACCCKKKKKK!

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"Hmph" said a man waking up from a deep sleep

"Whoa how the hell is there blood on the walls" the man said surprised as he left his bedroom

"Why is the bathroom sealed I really need to pee" The man said

"What is for breakfast" he said as he reached the refridgerator

"ROOOOAAAAARRRR!" An angry beast from hell screamed

"No thinks I don't like crispy bacon" he said yawning

"Roar?" it roared

"screw you then buddy" he said slamming the door

"hmmm why is there a T.V in here I don't own a T.V" He thought

"Oh wait a minet yes I do. I must be really Drunk" he again thought to hmself

"OHHHHHH!" a voice came from nowhere

"Hmmm must be the little angle that is supposed to appear on my shoulder probably was off getting high like he usually is" The man thought to himself again

"WHAAAAWHAAA" it yelled again as black gooky stuff started to form on the wall

"Hmm don't recall having a Moving picture like that hung up" He said looking at it

"AHHHHHHH" a voice screamed as a body fell out of the black gooky stuff

"Hey why are you spilling black shit on my carpet!" the man yelled

"Oh it's on the carpet my bad...I mean..er..umm...OHHHHHH!" it began to moan

"Now seems like a time to faint for no reason uhhh" the man said as he hit the floor and the other man came upon him

"No, no no no no AHHH" A middle aged man named with brown hair some jeans and a T-shirt screamed as he awoke

"Oh the dream again I have been having this dream for the past 5 days now" He said as he got out of bed

"Whoa must stop drinking the sink water for a few days" He said spitting on the floor and leaving his room

"Hmm I wonder if the door is chained up?" He asked himself as he went to the main door to his apartment

"yep" he said looking at it

"My name is Henri Townshend and I have been stuck in this room for 4 bloody days! I think it happened when I was at my neighbors Eileen Galvin's I told her she Had a nice butt and she slapped me in the face and threatend to call the super. That's when I pointed at her stuffed rabbit it's name was butt...yes I know very strange..so she invited me to a games of strip poker with her hot dancer friends and I won so they had to...wait that has nothing to do with my dilema...but that was a pretty good dream though if I do say so myself...actually I have no freaking idea how I got stuck but the chains are from the inside so that must mean whoever did this...must have done it from the outside!" Henri said to the wall

a message in blood formed on the wall

"all of your base are belong to me.

sincerley Walter Sullavin.

p.s that means you are stuck here oh and don't kill yourself because uhh hmmm don't know just do not kill yourself." the message read

"Who the hell is Walter sullavin ah who gives a shit I am not getting out of this room anyway" Henri said without care

BANG

"Oh what now!" henri said annoyed

he had walked into the bathroom when... he found a hole in the wall

"Oh damn I knew I should have ignored that crazy dude from the subway who was wearing that blue coat and talking to a spoon when he told me to not buy insurance it was a cheap trick" Henri said mad

"but on the bright side I can now climb out of this damn place" Henri said as he tried to fit into the hole

"not big enough mabey if I" he said as he pulled the pipe blocking his entrance

"another good thing I can use this as a weapon in case that Walter Bastard descides to show up...just not use it to pry the chains off of my door that would never work even though it makes perfect sense" Henri said as he crawled in the hole

"whoa it kind of feels like I am that chick off of the ring or something" Henri said as he crawled through the hole

when he reached the end he just passed out

"uhh where am I" Henri asked to no one inparticular

"why am I on a bigass elevator going down without one that goes up?" Henri asked

when he had reached the bottom he began to walk down a hallway

"hey another person I wonder why she is looking around like she has no idea where she is...oh wait I have no idea where I am so it makes sense" Henri thought

"hey baby Are you from around here" she said having a mexican accent

"yeah I just came from a dead end and you have been standing here the whole time but you never saw me pass" Henri said in sarcasm

"you never answered my question" she said again

"no you stupid bitch" Henri said

"hey that is offensive to Women but still do you know how to get out of here" She asked

"yeah I will just use my knoldege to find out where we are and where the exit is" Henri said

"so find anything yet" she asked

"NO!" Henri yelled

"ohh you are from one of those special schools aren't you" She said

"NO!" Henri said

"yes" henri thought

"Well if you help me out I will give you a special favor" she said as she winked

"I don't know if I want a favor from her I bet she has S.T.Ds out the Wazoo which is where they effect but I should be real careful around her" Heni thought

"hey follow me" she saidhalfway down the hallway

"I thought you needed my help?" Henri said confused

"Oh just shut up and follow me you ignorent dumbass!" She yelled and stormed down the hallway

"yep going to be one long ass day" Henri thought as he followed her

END OF CHAPTER

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I Hope this was good, sorry for the wait. I was going to have this posted yesterday but our phone lines where down...no phone lines no internet So please read and review. 


	2. I for idiot

Chapter 2

I for idiot

Disclaimer: I do not own Silent hill 4 or anything else for that matter

We had last left the two retards as they are walking down a subway hallway

"hey what did you say your name is again" Cynthia said

"Henri" Henri said

"how do you spell that?" She asked

"uh H-E-N-R-I" Henri spelled

"henri is spelled with a Y not an I dumbass"She said trying to be smart

"not my name" henri said

"why not?" she asked

"well the I stands for Idiot...at least that is what my mom always used to say" Henri said with obvious ignorence

"OH! OHHH. to much tequila." cynthia moaned

"Hey! My mom didn't drink tequila when she was pregnent with me...she drank Vodka" Henri said defending achoholic mommy

"Not that you moron I am about to vomit" Cynthia said holding her mouth

"well why don't you go into these convinent bathrooms" henri pointed to said bathrooms as Cynthia ran inside

"hmm this might take awhile...oh well. Hey nothing you can say" Henri began to sing

10 minets passed

"The ace of spades oh the ace of spades" Henri continued singing

10 more minets

"and I'm hungry like the wolf" Henri still sang

CREEK

"finally I am going to ignore the fact that you came out of the mens room and..." He began to say

a dead carcass was flung on him

"hey what is the big idea!" henri said pissed

"REALESE THE DOGS!" He heard a voice say

"dogs? this is not going to end well is it?" Henri said unhappy as two dogs walked up

"this is the end" henri said as he covered his eyes and waited inevitable death

"hmm what is this?" he said as he looked

the dogs were eating their fallen comrade

"whew doged that bullet" henri said as he wiped his head off

the dogs still were preoqupied

"I wonder what happened to that horny bitch?" Henri said standing watching the show...or the dogs eating the dead one

"hey these dogs are wussies. I bet you won't hit me panzy" Henri danced around the dog

"that's what I thought bitch" Henri said pulling out his pipe

WHACK

"oh hell no!" one of the dogs said

"what is it?" the other dog asked

"this stupid asshole up there just hit me in the head with a pipe." Dog number one said

"yeah so what are you going to do about it fleabag" Henri mocked

"That's it I am going to tear this guy a new asshole" Dog number one said again

"bob no please not again" Dog number two said

"we are passed talking jim besides it's only a matter of time before he pops you" number one said

"good point" number two said as they began to growl at henri

"Oh shit not good" Henri said

"now?" dog two asked

"sure" he said as they jumped at henri

"OH SHIT!" henri said ducking and hiding inside of the boy's bath room

"whew close one hmm what is this another hole...well i am not coming out soon so I might as well see what is in here" he said climbing in

when henri awoke...yes he was back in his apartment somehow.

"Oh damn it was just a dream at least in this one didn't get raped by some weird dude in this one" Henri said

"Damn I was hoping the chains would be gone too" Henri said disappointed

"hey a note" he stated…to the door

"Mom why doesn't u wake up. P.S check for notes more often dipshit" Henri read the note

"oh another one" Henri said

"there is another world that which is beyond the world of our god...actually I think it exists within who knows. I would hate to be in your situation right now…….wait I am in your situation right now…..damn" the note read

"I feel sorry for the poor bastard that is in my situation too….Hey wait a minuet…..dogs can't talk" Henri said referring to the dogs from earlier

"oh well time to go back to the hey hello there" Henri said as he walked passed his cabinet it was moved slightly ajar

"just a little push" He said sliding it across the floor

"oh goody a gun" Henri said happily

"hmm a hole in the wall as well let's just take a look" Henri said looking through it

"Hey it's butt the rabbit …this must be Eileen's house ….err…. apartment" he said

"now where did I leave the broom?" She asked butt

"by the wall" Henri said

"oh thanks disembodied voice of god" Eileen said walking to the right wall even though the hint could have meant any wall

"strip..strip..strip..strip.."Henri kept chanting

"Oh time to go spy on my neighbor Henri!" She yelled as she ran out of the room

"how the hell is she going to spy on me I can't even leave the room." Henri wondered

(Batman effect) to a dark room

"So you left the gun in the room?" a voice was heard

"yeah" another voice was heard

"you idiot" the fist voice said

"HEY I DON'T PAY YOU GUYS TO LAY AROUND" Walter yelled as he turned on a light

"you don't pay us at all we just took unwilling volunteers" the second voice said again

"yeah…err…wait can I have money" the first voice asked

"No. We need to complete the 21 sacraments" Walter said

"you just made the ritual up actually your son made the ritual up" Voice 2 said

"oh just shut up I have a whore to kill" Walter said as he left

The camera turns and we see……..James and Kuja

"Hey when do we get to kill?" James asked

"whenever Walter stops hogging the fun" Kuja replied

"just to ask we are the bad guys right?" James asked

"yes we control room 302 from right here….where ever we are" Kuja said

"riiight hey let's play Mario party" James said

"again…oh allright fine" Kuja said as they turned on the Gamecube

(BE) to henri

"I hear my phone ringing" Henri screamed in joy as he ran towards it

"hello room 302" Henri said

"Hey dick head why did you leave me here in the subway alone!" Cynthia screamed at him

"hey you are the one who left me so don't bitch at me" Henri shot back

"well I have some coins so come get them asshole" she said

"maybe I will" Henri said as he hung up the phone

"I guess this means back in the hole huh" Henri said scared

END OF CHAPTER

Finally got to chapter 2. I have been addicted to the game Shadow Man I have been playing it non stop it is a very good game. By the way if you haven't already check out a story called cute baby Pyramid head fun it is very funny. I am going to start a new feature next chapter if you help me. When you review the story ask me a question. I will answer it next chapter. You can ask me Darkcomet, James, Kuja, Walter, Henri, or anyone else anything and we will try to answer..if I can teach them to use a computer so don't forget I will answer 1 to three questions at a time so ask away.


	3. Subways suck

Chapter 3

Subways suck

Disclaimer: I do not own silent hill 4 or anything else...I hate those damn trains.

Henri was now coming to after he crawled through the hole last chapter.

"whoa it is like a satonic twisty slide..hey I'm back in the subway this sucks man well I might as well explore it a...OH SHIT!" Henri screamed as he saw a maniquen holding it's hand out

"oh I thought it was real for a second...ha stupid manniquen I have beaten you" Henri stood in triumph of nothing

"Hey just take the coins dumbass" the manniquen said

"You can talk?" Henri said confused

"no" it said and sat there

"O.k weird just going to take the coins and leave you to your...uh...hmm..manniquenness or whatever it is that you were doing" Henri said taking the coins and leaving

"Hey he came back" Dog number 2 said

"Damn I knew I forgot some thing!" Henri screamed

"Time to get a new ass chewed" dog number 1 said as they lunged at henri. Henri drew his pipe

they were about to connect...

we interupt this story for an announcement from the author

"My fellow readers this scene contaians cruelty to animalsand henri screaming like a girl. But due to the graphic nature of this scene I must strike it from the story or P.E.T.A. Would be on my ass for somethin I don't even own, so The rest of the time I will have james sing a few lines from his favorite song...Weird al's White and Nerdy...Hit the music Kuja

A dark stage is shown a spotlight comes on and James is seen in the light.

"They see me mowin' my front lawn..think I'm just to white and nerdy" James sang and concluded

"That's it" Kuja asked

"yep" James said smiling

"you sang thirty seconds" Kuja said

"So is that bad or some thing" James said like a three year old trying to win an argument

"James on the scale of 1 to 10...you suck" Kuja said

"I hate you" James screamed storming off

"Now back to the story" Kuja said smiling and chasing after james

(BE) back to the story

Dog parts are lying every where and henri is holding one of the dogs head

"Who is the bitch now!" Henri screamed in triumph as the other dogs looked on and stared in disbelief

"this is one twisted bastard he just tor our dead friend there to pieces and ate the guts" Dog number 2 said in shock

Dog number 1 explodes

"yep time to go home" dog number 2 ran off

"HA! I WIN!" Henri yelled as he ran off down the hallway to the turn stile

"please insert coins" Henri read and did as instructed and went through

"OWWWW MY HEAD!!!!" Henri began to scream as he reached the bottom of the stairs I neglected to inform you of

"OHHHH!" a moan is heard

"OH GOD IT IS THE DREAM DEMON!" Henri screamed

"MOAN MOAN MOAN" it moaned

"take this!" Henri yelled as he kicked the ghost in the balls

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" it screamed as it fell on the ground in pain and henri ran off..down stairs I mention this time

"whew close call" Henri said

"HENRI!" he heard a woman scream

"...mom" Henri said confused

"Over here dumbass" cynthia screamed

"oh...you" Henri said

"what do you mean you You left me alone here" Cynthia said extremely pissed

"actually you left me here so screw you bitch" Henri said as he walked off

"oh if I get out I am going to kick your ass so bad" Cynthia said

"I suppose I should check the front of the train for the way out of this damn place" Henri said moving to the front of the train

after he had reached the front of the train

"hmm now let's see what should I do...oh I got it letme just pull this lever here and" Henri started to say

creek

"well that did something let's go see" Henri said

"hmm I wonder what it" Henri startewd to say

"oh henri" said a freed cynthia holding a taser

"shit" henri said

We again inturupt this story for an announcement from Darkcomet

"I am sorry to bother you again but due to the graphic nature of this scene I can not show it or tons of beer drinking men will be pissed that a middle aged man is getting the dog shit beat out of him by a prostitute...though funny it must be stricken from the story we will now see...oh jesus...James singin breaking the law by judas priest"

"Beakin' the law Breakin' the law" James sang

" I hate my job" I say

"Beakin' the law Breakin' the law" James still sang

"back to the story please god" I pray

(BE) back to the story

"Who's your momma" Cynthia said standing over henri

"you" henri cried

"that's right...bitch" She said walking back to the train

"hey wait for me" Henri said catching up to her

"hey why didn't you just leave through there" Henri said pointing

"because" Cynthia said

"and because is..." Henri said

"because me standing here is a pointless plot device" cynthia said

"uhhh...ok" Henri said going out the back door

"hmm which way do I go, left...or right" Henri said

(BE) 30 minets later

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I AM GOING TO EAT MY WAY OUT" Henri screamed as he started to bite the train

"henri the door out is right here" Cynthia said pointing to door out

"I..I knew that" Henri said exiting the train

"well the only place to go is in that door" Cynthia said pointing to the door

"Oh cool a hole.. Hey cynth...where the hell did she go now" Henri said as he crawled in the hole

"hmmm awake in my own room again very, very strange" Henri said leaving the bedroom

"Nothing seems to be around here like I had hoped so let's just look in the peep hole and go back inside the hole" Henri said going to his door

outside of his room

"Mr sunderland why are you up in this hallway?" Eileen asked as she tried to spy on henri through the peep hole

"I have come to collect rent...which is always an adventure for me" Frank said

"Oh yeah uhh rent hey you know sometimes I hear the disimbodied voice of god in this hallway talking to me" Eileen said changing the subject

"really what does it say to you?" Frank asked

"It calls me a bitch and moans about how it wants to sleep with me" Eileen said

"cool" Fank said walking away

" Dumb bitch" Henri said

"see there it is again" Eileen said chasing down frank

"well time to go back in" Henri said

END OF CHAPTER

WOW! I have been playing way too much dead rising. I now have the third chapter done whew. also two other things if you haven't already check out cute baby pyramid head fun...I have to bring something this funny up twice I mean it would be a crime if you didn't read it. and two would you please ask my little slaves...er...charecters questions...please the were sad they had no questions to answer and Walter threatened to kill himself again. So until next time please read and review


	4. Sacrifices are made

Chapter 4

sacrifices are made

Disclaimer: I do not own silent hill 4 or anything various I may put in here...even me (DAMN!)

"Whoa damn that is one hell of a slide" Henri said crawling from the hole

"Well that stupid girl ran off and god knows where to so I might as well climb down this ladder for no real reason" Henri said to himself as he moved twords the ladder

when he had reached the bottom

"cool they got that blood colored floor...wait a minuet...they got the pulsating flesh kind,those cheap bastards" Henri said looking at the floor

"wait pulsating,that must mean" Henri's thought was interuppted by moans

"MOAAAN" a man's voice was heard

"Oh damnit not again" Henri said drawing out his pipe

"MOAAN" A females voice was heard

"What the hell" henri said surprised

"We Will get you henri" A ghost said floating around the corner

"please god ...don't get any closer" Henri said pleading

"Heh heh that right you are scared of us" the other ghost said

"please don't make me do this" Henri pleaded

"HA! you are dead" the male ghost said

"allright you left me with no choice" Henri said

"what are you going to do bleed on us" The female ghost said

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH...ALMOST" Henri screamed

"What is he doing?" The male ghost asked

"who knows this guy is a fruit loop" The female ghost said

"AHHHHHHHH...THERE!" Henri screamed

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

"OH SWEET JESUS!" The male ghost screamed

(BE) to Cynthia

"Stupid bastard leaving me when I looked away again" Cynthia said whille she walked along the boarding platform

"so we meet again" a males voice said

"wait...no it couldn't be" She said as she turned around

"yes it's me" the voice said

"WALTER SULLAVIN!" DRAMTIC ANIME CLOSEUP (sorry heh heh)

"Why are you here" She asked in disgust

"funny you should know the answer to that" Walter said

"your still mad at me when I left you in the morning in bed" She said jokingly

"ARGHHHH? NO! I am mad at you for giving me sven STD's at one you filthy whore" Walter said

"What did you call me" she said getting angry

"YOU HEARD ME!" He screamed at her

"take it back" she said about to break

"make me" Walter said

"fine" she said as she rolled her eyes back in her head

"whoa!" Walter said in shock

she began to turn red and grow horns and whips magically appeared in her hands

"Oh shit" Walter said as he pulled out a walkie talkie

"Hey guys I could use some help" Walter said pissing himself

(BE) back to henri

"That will show them who they are screwing with" Henri said as he walked out the door leading to where the demonic cynthia is

as two ghosts laid on the floor going into spasms over the smell of the nastiest fart ever ripped

"Now where did cynthia go" Henri said wondering

as he thought James walks up to demon cynthia with a gun shoots it a few times and runs out of ammo and hurls the gun at her head she then cracks the whip right across his face. James then falls on the ground crying like a little girl

"The answer is so close I can feel it" Henri said still missing this fight behind him

Kuja was now having a migic duel with this demon making very bright light flashes go everywhere and loud explosive noises

"I think I know now" Henri said

"she has been kidnapped and forced to do sexual things against her will" Henri said

Walter stands there staring at henri from afar

"DUMBASS!" Walter screams as one of the whips ties around his ankle and drags him to the demon

"That nameless voice is right she would enjoy that way too much" Henri said

Walter is know being slamed into kuja who is laying on the ground, in other words she is using walter to beat up kuja

"hmm she might be at the turnstile" henri said as he walked off

James now pulls out another gun and shoots her on the back of the head

"ROOOOAR" she screamed

henri turns and sees these three men fighting a giant female demon

"carry on" Henri said walking off

Walt then pulls out holy water from under his coat O.o

he splashes her with it

"ROOOOARR!" She screams grows wings and flies off

"THAT'S RIGHT POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU BITCH!" Walter screamed pulling out a knife and chasing after her

"WHOA!" Henri screams as Walter runs right past him

"people are in such a hurry" Henri said as he walked to the stairs...err...Escallator because he is to lazy to take the stairs...that are not there

"La la la la la la la la" Henri sang when suddenly

WHAM

"OWWW SON OF A BITCH!" Henri screamed in anger

he had been slapped in the face ..by a wall monster

"Oh you son of a bitch I am going to kill all of you and your family" Henri said as he pulled out his pipe and walked up to the monster

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO" The monster screamed

(BE) 10 Minuets later

Henri is covered in blood and there are monster half hanging out of the wall with no arms and blood pouring form open wounds he made

"Teach you to slap me you dirty son of a bitch" Henri said as he reached the top of the staris

Henri went throught the next area with no problems whatsoever..but when he went to the turnstile he saw alot of makeup,cosmetis,pantagrams,blood,sulfur,a hair brush,a tooth brush,and some floss

"Ha I feel sorry for the poor bastard that got jumped here" Henri said as he looked over at the door

"The dirty tramp" Henri read as he took a place card off of the door

"Henri" Said a normal...yet nearly stabbed to death cynthia screamed

"Oh...my...god" Henri said in a chris farley type voice

"How do I look" She said obviously nearing death

"like a whore" Henri said

"good" She said

"that's good?" Henri asked

"Do you want me to do you a special favor" She said barely able to raise her eyebrows

"NO! henri screamed

"Why...why not" she stuggled to say

"because number one you might have aids,number two you are beeding out of your mouth and that is not hot, and number two...er four" Henri started to say

"three you idiot" She said

"shut-up, and three you had sulfer in you bag which you probably had in your mouth, and sulfer on that area dosn't feel good beleive me I've tried" Henri said

"You son of a bi" She started to say before she abruptly died

"Whoa getting real dizzy...oh gonna vomit" Henri said befor he passed out

When henri woke up he saw that he had vomit all over him

"Hmm that is new" Henri said looking at his shirt

Knock Knock

"Henri this is the super" Frank yelled

"Oh great old dumbass is knocking at my door" Henri said rolling his eyes

when henri had reached the door

"Hey frank you better be careful about this hallway the disembodied voice of god is in this hallway" Eileen said

"No there isn't" Frank said

"Man Eileen looks hot today" Henri said looking out his peephole

"Well I'll be damned" Frank said

"Thank you voice of god" Eileen said

"hmm" henri thought of how he could use this

"Eileen" Henri said in a booming voice

"When ever you see henri again you must sleep with him...no strings attached" Henri said

"Oh god..I was planning on doing that any way..even if it were rape" Eileen said

"Damn girl what the hell" Frank said in shock of how eileen was acting

"What he is a sexy bitch" Eileen said

"Uhh o.k well you do that next time you see him" Henri said

"O.K god" Eileen said

"Heh heh all of the more reason for me to get out of here no to start screaming for help" Henri said clearing his throat

"HELP ME PLEASE I AM STUCK IN HERE OPEN THE DOOR" Henri screamed

"do you hear something Frank?" Eileen asked

"yeah...only when I am awake though" Frank said

"Oh well Let's go screw with richard some" Eileen said

"Allright I will just slide this note under the door for Henri to get later" Fank said leaving

Henri looked down and saw the note and picked it up

"Why does it have white sticky stuff all over it? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Henri said running to the bathroom droping the note in the toilet flushing the toilet getting ion the shower and crawling in the corner and crying while rocking himself back and foward.

END OF CHAPTER

Allright kiddies it is question time todays question is fellow author, Reveiwer, and the author cute baby Pyramid head fun...Megfallow

her question is

" Why wouldn't cythia bang henri when she had the chance considering she always mentioned giving him a special favor, I mean she tazored him Might as well play hanging monsters have their way with james game?"

I would have cynthia answer but she is dead and

"I am right here"

"What he hell!"

"That's right"

"uh ok then take it away"

"Happy to. I would force myself on henri but evertime I tried he would run away or slap me or he would scream for Eileen. So to answer your question I have tried"

"That's right and I thought you are dead, You dirty bitch" Henri said

"I have a pissed off idiot and a Horny STD ridden ghost in here, I really hope I don't get raped tonight"

Please read and review with some more questions I hope I can update soon.


	5. The bitch is back

**Chapter 5**

**The bitch is back**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story...not event the story itsself (GASP!)**

When Henri was finally done crying he put some new clohes on and burned his old one by clogging them in an electrical outlet...it may have shocked him badly but he burned those damn clothes.

"Whew lucky I know how to start a fire using an outlet" Henri said never once thinking of catching hi apartment on fire

"Hey I wonder what Eileen and Frank are doing to richard?" Henri thought

(BE) across the building

Knock knock

"Mrs. Braintree" frank hollared

"yes" A woman answered the door that woman being richards husband

"I don't know how to say this but.." Eileen started to say

"Richard is cheating on you with...that guy who owns all of the guns...yes he's gay" Frank said

"RICHARD COME OUT HERE!" Mrs. Braintree yelled

"yes bertha" Richard said coming up to her

"is it true what they say?" She asked

he looked at her and then looked at them

"Why did you tell her!" Richard scremed

"You Bastard!' She screamed as she clocked richard walked into her room and as quickly as she walked in walked out with a suitcase

"I'm leaving..se you in hell you gay son of a bitch" She said as she stormed off

"I didn't think she would get that mad" Richard said

"Oh I did" eileen said

"I mean I only have to work one hour more" Richard said rubbing his face

"Yeah and being gay with the gun guy shouldn't have pissed her off that bad" Frank said snikering

"Yeah she shou...WHAT!!!!!" Richard screamed

"HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!" They both laughed

"You asshole first you duct tape my ass shut im my sleep, Then you trick my dog out into traffic..now you make my wife leave me!" He screamed

"I know isn't it great" Eileen said rolling on the ground

"RGGH...Just leave me alone" He said slamming his door

"Hey richard sorry about your cat!" Frank yelled

"what cat...OH YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Richard screamed as frank and Eileen ran off

(BE) to henri

"whoa the hole has gotten bigger...how the hell does that happen?" Henri said to himself

"That is easy" Said that dog off of the rocky and bullwinkle show

"than how does it happen smartass" Henri said

"Erosion you retard" He said

"Retard huh" Henri said pulling out his gun

"You don't have tha balls to shoot me" The dog said acting tough

"I have balls ulike a certain neutured person standing in frotn of me" Henri said smirking

"you bastard" The dog said befor he was shot.

"Now...into the hooooollleeee" Henri said taking a running dive into the hole

but on the way through the hole u-turned

"SON OF A BITCH THAT HURT!' Henri said as he was going through the apartment walls so everyone in the building could hear him

"See God IS everywhere" Eileen said

"Oh shut up Eileen" Frank said back

When henri reached the end of the tunnel

"uhhhhhh my head" Henri said waking up

"Hey where did I come from?" Henri said looking around because he quite literally droped out of nowhere

"That is so damn cheap at least in the subway I came from an escalator" Henri said walking to the nearest door

"Hmm this place looks like an abandoned factory..hey a surveilence camera I wonder if it still works and I am being watched right now" Henri said as he left the factory.

(BE) to a place

"Damn we are screwed man he knows we are watching him" James said freaking out

"He said I WONDER if any one is watching me dumbass" Walter said

"I didn't hear him say dumbass" James said

"Moron" Walter said

They were still recovering from that fight with cynthia as a demon Kuja had taken the most he was bruised from head to toe

"That demonic bitch she is lucky you killed her Walter" Kuja said

"I know" Walter said he has a black eye

"But I made her run" James said who was bruised a little bit less than kuja with a big scar across his face but he feels no pain..because he is to stupid to feel pain

"Hey walter could you go over the plan again?" Kuja asked

"Ok here is what we do" Walter said as the camer left earshot of them and went to a richter scale that was begining to flip out

(BE) back to henri

"Whoa there is a car here" Henri said running over to the car

"Let's see Websters dictinary, Guide to the occult, Silent hill 4 for dummines, How to get out of a sealed room with bullet proof windows and chains on the door, A note that says very important...damn no money" Henri said starting to leave the car

"wait a minuet why I don't I just drive out of here" Henri said getting in the car and flooring the gas pedal and ramming through the gate

He drove through another forrest area and then to another that had a large rock in the middle of it

"Oh shit a person" Henri said hitting the breaks

"D..D..Damn" A man studdered before he was hit and launched about 20 feet

"Oh shit I think I killed him..oh well Might as well see if he has a wallet on him" Henri said as he turned off the card and got out of the car..When suddenly an earthquake hit

"What the hell!" Henri screamed

(BE) back to that place..where Walter is

"What the hell is going on down there?" Kuja said

"I know what it is" James said as he grabbed a shovel and ran off

"I don't know this isn't part of my plan" Walter said

(BE) Back to Henri

"Whoa can't stand upright whoa" Henri said loosing his balance

when suddenly it stoped

"Whew I thoughht the ground was going to crack there for a second" Hneri said

Crack Crack

"Damn" Henri said

A tiny hand shot up from the ground..When suddenly James showed up and started to beat it with a shovel

"Hey what are you doing sir?" Henri asked

"I am just a tree uhh I am droping leaves right now" James said continuing to whack the tiny hand

"Oh ok then mr. Tree" Henri said

The tiny hand then grabbed the shovel and hit James over the head with it knocking him out...It then rose out of the ground as Kuja teleported in and teleported out with James

when it's whole body reached the surface it let out a scream

"FINALLY I AM FREE!" the zombie screamed

"Hey aren't you a cute little girl zombie what is your name?" Henri asked

"Laura" the newly ressurected Laura said

(BE) Back to that place

"Oh shit she's back damn" Kuja said

"well at least it isn't like my twin brother posessing a guy through his arm" Walter said

"Yeah that guy is retarded" James said now coming too

"Hey James I thought you said you shot her?" Walter said annoyed

"I did and then I buried her..I knew I should have put concrete over her grave" James said

(BE) Back to henri

"Hey Laura whay do you look all decomposed?" Henri asked

"Because that son of a bitch capped me in the back of the head when I was using the bathrrom and then buried me for a few months but now I am back from the dead" Laura said to henri

"So you are evil?" Henri asked

"yes" She answered

"and you might kill me?" Henri asked

"Might I will kill you" Laura said

"Oh I see...My go Laura what is behind you!" Henri screamed

"Where...OH DAMNIT!" She screamed as henri shot her in the back of the fead and began to kick her body.

Whn Henri was done he got back in the car and strarted it up

"Now Out of this forest" Hneri said as he hit the gas pedal

the car died

"DAMN CAR!" Hneri got out and began to beat the car

a blck shadow then came up behind Henri

END OF CHAPTER

Ohh suspenseful.. Who is the shadow I know but you don't

This times question is from Schreiberjoe

Why the hell is every bitch in this Parody (to date) so bloody horny and crazy about that wimpy Henri? I mean he's a complete moron... isn't he?

Darkcomet: Without question he is an idiot.

Henri: No I am just dead sexy

Darkcomet: Suuuure what ever helps you sleep

Cynthia: I just want my money

Eileen: I want to make babies with him

Darkcomet: But the question is WHY!

Eileen: Because he is dead sexy

Henri: Damn straight!

Richard: Sup' Bitch

Darkcomet: Quit saying that to me your not in prison any more

Cynthia: I just want some money

Walter: But you just charge two cents

Cynthia: So!

Eileen: I also want his money

Henri: WHAT!

Eileen: Dead sexy

Henri: Oh I thought you said my money

Darkcomet: There you have it folks Cynthia wants her two cents and Eileen thinks he is dead sexy (sure) cough andwantshismoney cough please read and reveiw and send me more questions

Henri: I knew it was my studly manner

Darkcomet: Just shutup henri.


	6. TTTToday Junior

**Chapter 6**

**T-T-T-today Junior**

**Disclaimer: I d-d-don't own anything**

A dark shadow rose up behind of henri

"Whoa!" Henri said startled

"You s-s-s-son of a b-bitch" a really freaky looking guy

"yes" Henri said

"y-y-you tried to steal my c-c-c-car didn't you" He said

"M-M-M-Mabey" Henri said making fun of the guy

"I-I hate -t when people m-m-m-make fun of my v-v-v-voice" He studdered some more

"W-W-What are you going to do about it" Henri said laughing

"L-L-Let me show you" He said

(BE) to that place...again

"Hey walter why do you want to kill this guy?" Kuja asked

"well it looks like henri is barking up the wrong tree...like me and James did" Walter said

"did you say my name" James said

"no I said dumbass...oh wait that is your middle name" Walter said

"burn" Kuja said

"Oh yeah well you are going to die today" James said making up a stupid come back

"Hey dip shit let me save you some time...I'm already dead" Walter said

"oh yeah well I banged you mom" James said in triumph

"James my mom left me in that damn room I grew up with you we were almost like brothers" Walter said

"So that mean you...EWWWWWW!" Kuja said

"Oh yeah smart ass uhhh I uhh suck it" James said as he threw a smoke bomb and ran off

"I swear I should not have made James drink all of that paint when he was 5" Walter said coughing

"Or having Frank beat him in the head with that damned plank" Kuja said

"Oh shut...hey how do you know our dad?" Walter asked

"I can read minds..Hello where have you been" Kuja said sarcastically

"Well it looks like Henri just got his ass whopped lets watch some more" Walter said

(BE) back to the woods

"and that is ultamite nin-nin-nin-nin- Karate" the guy said

"Ow I just got my ass kicked" Henri said stating the obvious

"That was my shadow clones a-a-a-asshole" He said

"who are you?" Henri asked

"I am Jasper...Jasper I f-f-forget my last name" Jasper said

"oh ok...Weirdo" Henri said under his breath

"what was t-t-t-that?" Jasper asked

"uhh I like bushido" Henri said something that made no sense

"that makes no sense..but I beleive you" Jasper said

"Hey you didn't studder" Henri said

"Hey I didn't this may be a new beggining for me" Jasper said

"AHHHHHHHH!" Zombie laura screamed as she sat up

henri shoots her back down

"Holy s-s-s- damnit" Jasper said

"oh well hey what is this rock" henri said not giving two shits about Jasper

"that isn't a r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rock have you ever seen f-f-f-frozen phecies" Jasper said

"yeah once...oh damn" Henri said

"well this isn't f-f-f-frozen phecies I just like to t-t-t-talk about it, this is a-a-actually a c-cerimonial rock used f-f-for...cerimonies" Jasper said

"Why did you say you like frozen phecies" Henri asked

"Because it is all I e-e-eat" Jeasper said

"ha that's a funny joke" Henri said chuckiling

"Y-y-yeah it is but I am not j-j-joking" Jasper said seriosly

"Oh ok then I amjust going to go uhh this way then..bye" Henri said running off

"o-o-ok then b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bye" Jasper said as he waved goodbye

after that moment zombie laura got back up

"Ohh that bastard is going to get it" Zombie laura said angry

"H-h-hey are you the t-t-t-tooth fairy?" Jasper asked

"Yes I am the damn tooth fairy now give me your damn money!" She yelled at Jasper

"to hell with you I am not going to give y-y-y-you shit" jasper said

"Oh you arn't are you I guess I am going to have to kick your ass" she said

"w-w-w-we'll see" Jasper said

(BE) to henri

"Hmm an orphanage huh?" Henri said as he reached the wish house

"Hey a hole" Henri said running and diving in

When he awoke there was a big crack in his photo above his bed

"I need to find out how I get into bed" Henri said getting up

"Those two idiots Eileen and frank are probably tormenting richard again why don't you all go watch them I have to poo" Henri said walking in his bathroom

(BE) to Eileen and Frank

"shh frank shut up this is one of our best pranks we have ever pulled on him" Eileen said

"I know (chuckle) I know" Frank chuckled like a little schoolgirl

"shh shh here he comes" Eileen said

"I love little kids except for that little Wally son of a bitch la l.. hey why is my door open? Oh well My bologni has a first n" Richard sang as he walked in his apartment

"There is that son of a bitch" a man with a deep voice said

"Holy shit Tony how did you get here..V-vinnie how are you" Richard said scared

"Some girl named eileen called us and told us where you were hiding" Vinnie said

"Well that bitch is a liar..I am not here right now" Richard said

"Richard how stupid do you think I am..I am only going to fall for that 15 times" Tony said

"Well I uhh well shit" richard said

"Vinnie close the door" Tony said

"Get the bats" Tony said

"Those sons of bitches I am going to hurt them" Richard said

"Should I do it" Vinnie asked

"yes" Tony said as they began to beat richard with bats

"Honestly though how did you make these guys believe you?" Frank asked

"Oh I just called them and told them Richard braintree has you money at his apartments in ashfeild...and he called you guys his bitch" Eileen said

"What are we going to do to him next?" Frank asked

"Funny you should ask let's go back to the storage room and see what we have down there" Eileen said as she walked off

(BE) back to henri

"AHHHHHH WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR!" Henri screamed

"I SAY WHO DOES NUMBER TWO..WORK FOR!" Henri screamed some more

(BE) uhh to that place now known as the base

"Hmm how can I do this" Walter wondered

"Do what?" Kuja asked

"Kill all of the targets" Walter said

"But you already killed cynthia..right?" Kuja asked

"actually..she was dead when I got there...Probably stabbed herself" Walter said

"I don't think so" Kuja said

"Hmm Hey Wally!" Walter yelled

"yes daddy" Wally said

"I need you to go to the woods" Walter said

"O.K" wally said running off

"wait your sending the little kid" Kuja said

"thats right. to hell with child labor laws" Walter said

"Hey guys look what I found in the forest" james said walking in with something wrapped in a blanket

"aww what is it james a baby puppy, A little raccoon, an abandoned baby" Kuja said reaching for it

"no even better" James said

"Then what is it?" Walter asked

"A Rabid, disease ridden badger" James said as he unwrapped the the badger

"ROAR!" it roared

"AHHH HELP ME!" Walter said as the Badger bit onto his face

" OH MY GOD MORE OF THEM ARE RUNNING INSIDE THE BASE!" Kuja screamed

"That's the best news of all I walked to their peaceful little colony and kicked all of them and then peed on their golden statue of a badger" James said as he was taken down by the badgers

(BE) back to room 302

"ahh finally that was a big dump" Henri said

"allright..one..two..THREE!" Henri screamed as he dove in the hole

about midway through it curved and he ran straight into the wall and knocked himself out.

END OF CHAPTER

Hmm no questions...I think the charecters are about to lose their minds..oh well. sorry about Jasper being a ninja I have been watching and playing WAY too much Naruto. but please send me your questions in reveiw, message, replyies to my reveiws,snail mail, a letter written in your blood however it takes but please..do not send it snail mail. I will update my story soon...Hopefully


	7. The little bastard

**Chapter 7**

**The little bastard**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything..still..(looks around)...Snatch and run!... (Darkcomet runs off)**

Last time that retard Henri Had dove into the hole and is still knocked out

"and every night I will save your life...Dreams of absolution" henri sang in his unconscience state.

(BE) Might as well torment richard

"allright nothing wrong with my apartment those sick bastards haven't been here yet" Richard said still covered in bandages from last chapter

thud

"PLEASE DON"T HURT ME!" Richard screamed getting into the fetal position

"don't worry sexy" Eileen said

"huh" Richard looked up and saw Eileen standing there in sexy lingerie

"come get me tiger" She said walking into his bedroom

Richard ran in there taking off his clothes

"ohh...how...tiny.."eileen said

"Huh?" richard asked

"I said uhh... Now it's miney?" eileen said

"oh ok" Richard said as he climbed on top of Eileen

"are you happy Richard?" Eileen asked

"Oh yeah babey" Richard said going for a kiss

"Good" she said as she grabbed a rusty knife and stabbed him square in the nuts

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Richard screamed in bloody murder

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!" Eileen laughed

"HAHAHAHAAH!" Fank laughed as he tumbled out of the closet

"did you record that?" Eileen asked wiping off a tear

"you bet" Frank said

"good let's go put it on the internet" Eileen said as they left richard bleeding on the floor

"help me" Richard pleeded

nothing

"I'm going to die here" Richard said in despair

(BE) back to henri

"All hail shadow...Heroes rise again" Henri kept singing

"hmm" Henri started to wake up

"oh yeah I ran into the wall I shouldn't dive in there anymore" Henri said

"y-y-y-y-y-your awake" Jasper said again

"Oh you again" Henri said

"H-h-h-h-hey you should c-c-c-check out the graveyard" Jasper said

"why?" Henri asked

"w-wh-why not?" Jasper said

somewhere a loud yell could be heard

"DAMN YOU TO HELL!" an angry voice was heard in the distance

"did you hear something?" Henri asked

"n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n" Jasper tried to say

"let me guess no" Henri said

"y-yeah" Jasper said

"well screw this I'm going to the graveyard..for no real reason" Henri glared at Jasper as he left

"W-w-what did I -d-d-do" Jasper said

(BE) to the base

"I SWEAR TO GOD THE NEXT SON OF A BITCH TO ANSWER WHY NOT I AM GOING TO KILL IN A VERY BRUTAL WAY!" James screamed

"Whoa damn" Kuja said

"yeah James we should be pissed at you for bringing in those damn badgers" Walter said

"hey what did you do with those anyway?" Kuja asked

"oh I put them somewhere safe" Walter said

(BE) back at richards

"OWWW WHO PUT RABID BADGERS IN HERE!!" Richard screamed after opening his closet looking for a frst aid kit

(BE) back at the base

"Hey where has bill been" James asked

"Darkcomet was too lazy to give him to many lines so he is in vegas with cheap prostitutes until he is needed" Walter said

"You know you could have just said he was in vegas" Kuja said

"shut up where is henri?" Walter asked

"in the grave yard" Kuja said

(BE) to the graveyard

"la la la...who are you?" Henri said as he stopped

"my name is Wally...er...uh...Silver" Wally said

"You are not a hedgehog" Henri said

"Oh yeah...actually..I am uhhhhhhh nameless?" Wally said

"works for me" Henri said

"whew" Wally breathed a sigh of releif

"so why are you out here?" Henri asked

"to stalk yo...I mean to make sure you don't commit suicid...I mean for no reason" Wally said

"h-h-h-h-h-he is lying" Jasper said coming from nowhere

"Damnit where did you come from?" Henri said

"f-f-from the orphanage" Jasper said

"Whatever..hey kid do you have any..Hey where did he go?" Henri said

"I-I-I wish he would have g-g-g-gone into my pants" Jasper said

"yeah...wait what?" Henri said

"n-n-nothing" Jasper said

"you sick son of a bitch" Henri said disgusted walking out the door

"I-I-I love it w-w-w-when he's angry" Jasper started to follow henri

(BE) back to ashfeild

Richard was dressed again and marching to Eileens room

BANG BANG BANG

Richard knocked on the door

"oh hi Richard" Eileen said innocently

"Eileen I just wanted to say I think your jokes are very funny..put er there" Richard said smiling sticking out his hand

"Sure thing buddy" eileen shook his hand

ZAP ZAP ZAP

"HA HA GOT YOU BITCH GOT YOU!" Richard screamed

"why? Why would you do that to a girl...whaaaaaa" Eileen started to cry

"richard what did you do?" Frank asked

"Oh shit I didn't mean to make her cry" Richard said to frank

at that moment a dart went into richards neck

"ahhh" Richard screamed

"HA that rat poisen and anthrax mixed together" eileen said

"heh heh" Fank chuckled

"You...BITCH!" Richard screamed as he dove onto Eileen and started to strangle her

"Oh Snap" Richard said still laughing

(BE) back to the orphanage

"Ahh finally lost that weird studdering fag" Henri said

"h-hh-hey" Jasper said appearing from nowhere

"oh damnit" Henri said

"C-c-c-could you get me some chocolate milk?" Jasper asked

"WHAT THE HELL FOR!" Henri yelled

"I am thirsty" Jasper said

"fine what the hell" Henri said climbing back into the hole

(BE) back into room 302

"I seriosly wonder how I get into my bed" Henri still wondered that ever burning question

"Hey is that the sound of someone getting strangled" Henri thought as he went to his peep hole

"nothing hmm" Henri then went and looked through the hole to Eileens room

"YOU DIRTY STINKING BITCH!" Richard screamed still chocking her

"JERRY JERRY JERRY!" A bunch of people chanted

all of a sudden Jerry Springer popped up out of nowhere

"ok folks please stop the fighting" Jerry springer said

When a bullet entered his brain and in ran Tom crusie

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAah I LOVE KATIE HOLMES HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" He screamed as he jumped up and down and bit the couch..then ran off

"ok that is enough" Frank said as he pulled and dragged richard off and shut the door

"Ouch I probably need to get these clothes off" Eileen said

"YES!" Henri thought

"I should take them off slowly and dance infront of this little hole in the wall" Eileen said

"HELL YES!" Henri though

Eileen started her little dance

(BE) back to the base

"Oh yeah" Walter said...he was watching Eileen over the T.V. He put a camera in her room...for obvious reasons

"HEY WALTER" Namine said popping up from nowhere

"Oh shit" Walter said changing the channel

"What are you watching" Namine said in disgust

"hmmm" Walter looked at the T.V. screen

"Spank me" A bent over Barney in tight leather said to a little kid

"Why?" the kid asked

"just shut the hell up and spank me...yeah harder..get the whip" Barney said

"i suppose it is a horny machosistic Barney wanting little kids to molest him...uh..James wanted to watch it... JAMES YOUR SHOWS ON!" walter said glancing nervously

"Yeah Horny Barney!' James said as he came running from a room in the base

"Holy shit he did really want to watch it.. I mean of course he did" Walter said

"Hey what was on the previous channel" James said

"Damnit" Walter said

"Hey is that Eileen galvin stip dancig" James said

"JAMES CAHNGE THE CHANNEL!" Walter screamed

"screw that this is twice as good" James said

"Uhh I can explain namine you see" Walter tried to find words

"Huh I wasn't even paying attention" Namine said

"then lets go this way" Walter said

"Hey is James watching porn?" Namine asked

"yeah ever since his wife left..you know" Walter said

"Hey james if you want a girlfriend I now a friend who is desperate enough to date you" Namine said

"desperate?" James said

"I mean really horny" Namine said covering up her tracks

"Oh count me in then" James said as he coninued to Watch Eileen

"as I said before do I really need to keep doing this?" the ghost that got farted on complained

"yes we are paying you after all" Kuja said

"no you aren't" the female ghost said

"Well just be grateful you are hiding behind those masks" Kuja said

"Yeah that's true" the male ghost said as he took off his mask...it was sora

"why are we doing this again" The female said taking off her mask..it was Kairi

"I am not a liberty to say" Kuja said

"Oh well back to work" Sora said as he left

"O.K Namine I have to go kill a studdering freak..see you later" Walter said kissing Namine and leaving

(BE) back to room 302

"that was refreshing" Henri said

"hey why are there so many notes under my door...oh well" Henri said

"chocolate milk it is past expiration but oh well." Henri said walking back to the bathroom

(BE) in the Forest

"W-w-w-where is that guy with the m-m-milk" Jasper said as a shadow came up behind him with a knife in hand

END OF CHAPTER

Who is behind Jasper.. and Who is James's date all of this answered in next chapter

Question time again huh? ok then this question is from schrieberjoe his question is for James..oh boy

James: Yes finally!

Walter: Showoff

Darkcomet: the question is "We all know you banged Walters mom and all...but what if Walter is the father of Frank and if frank is married to cynthia and they had a pair of twins named Eileen and Kuja? and the horrid twist is that Richard is Eileens lover and they had a son called jasper. so what does that make you?"

Kuja: (eyes twitch)

Eileen: Pulls out knife ready to commit suicide

James: Bashes his head into the wall repeatedly

Walter: Wait who did I bang to get this far?

Namine: Me mabey

Walter: No frank is like 50 and we did it last week

James: I have to answer THIS!

Darkcomet: thats right

James: why me

Darkcomet: because lady luck hates you

James: you got that damn right...anyway I guess I would be...uh...my granpa and my grandma...ewww mental picture

Darkcomet: I guess you have it he is both of his grandparents

James: and Walter grandson

Darkcomet: and the illegitimate grandson of Walter...that is very disturbing.. anywho please send me more question and I bet you can't guess who is behind Jasper..or who James date is...I played way to much sonic next gen before writing this hence the song "Dreams of Absolution" and "all hail shadow" as a matter fo fact I am listing to "Dreams of Absolution" right now..holy shit...oh and "Dreams of absolution" is Silvers theme..oh well. see you later.


	8. not so eternal darkness

**Chapter 8**

**not so eternal darkness**

**Disclaimer:I don't own nothing (I meant to say that too)**

as the shadow snuk up behind Jasper Henri popped up through the hole with chocolate milk in hand

"Jasper I got your chocolate milk...who is your friend with the knife?" Henri asked

"W-W-What friend" Jasper said turning around and seeing the person with the knife

"wh-w-who the hell are you" Jasper said shocked

"Uh I...I am...Elvis?" The person said using a voice disguiser

"How are you doing that shadow shrowd to hide your face?" Henri asked

"uhhh...I am wearing a black outfit with a black ski mask" The person said

"I don't beleive you" Henri said

"no really it is a mask" The person said taking it off

"H-H-H-holy shit" Jasper said

"What the hell?" Henri said

"whoops" He said putting the mask back on

"gotta go" he said running off

"that looked like" Henri started to say

"I k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-" Jasper studdered

(BE) to ashfeild

"Gotta watch my back around here...so I bought this revolver...yeah bring it bitch" Richard said paranoid

creeeaaaak

"GO TO HELL YOU BITCH!!" Richard screamed as he turned around and shot the lady who has all of the kids

"why?" she asked as she died instantly

"uhhh...time to run" Richard said as he ran away

the little kids came out of their apartment

"ok momma time to go to hell" one of them said as they pulled out knives

"dieee!!!...Aww damnit she is already dead" The kid said kicking the ground and then stabbing one of his brothers

"you bastard" his brother said stabbing him

they started stabbingeach other...then adults came...with guns...and they started to kill each other..starting a mass riot

"nothing wrong in my apartment whew" Richard said sitting down

"La,la,la,la hmm" Richard said looking at his bedroom door...there were prostitutes 5 of them at his door

KOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Police we know you have prostitutes in there!" The police yelled

"gee I wondered who called them" Richard said pulling out his gun

a few minets later

"yes" Richard said opening the door

"We have been informed that you have prosititutes in there" The police officer

"by any chance did the informer sound like a woman...who sounded mentally retarted?" Richard asked

"why yes..yes she did" the police officer said

"well as you can see..no prostitutes in here" Richard said

"good enough for me" the police officer said leaving

when richard shut the door there were 5 dead hookers with bullet holes in the head

"damn that Eileen bitch" Richard said loading his gun back up

"hey mr." a little kid said

"huh?" Richard said turning around to see wally

"my daddy says he is going to kill you" Wally said

"why?" Richard asked

"because of bill..that bastard" the kid said

"oh yeah well your dad can go to hell" Richard said

"oh he says he's been there before twice...once because of that guy bill...and once because of mom...er...Cybil Bennate" Wally said

"then who is your mommy" Ricard said

"uhhh...room 302" Wally said

"well let's go see" Richard said grabbing Wally by the arm and dragging him to room 302

(BE) to the forrest

"k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-know" Jasper said finally finishing his sentance

"Here is your damn milk" Henri said as he threw the milk

"h-hey t-t-thanks" Jasper said as he drank the milk

"can I have something?" Henri asked

"Here t-t-take this shovel and go stick it u-u-up your a-ass" Jasper said throwing the shovel

"asshole" Henri said picking up the tiny shovel and leaving

"son of a bitch calls me asshole oh he is going to get it" Henri said as he threw he shovel down into the ground

"OWWWWWW!" a scream came from no where

"hello?" Henri said

"down here" a root said

"yes" Henri said

"kill me...please" It said in pain

"wish granted" enri said as he cut the root in half..when a key flew out of the root

"sweet...the wish house key" Henri said as he started to walk away

30 minets later

"Hey this tree looks familiar" Henri said

"Holy shit I am trapped here..damn you key..DAMN YOU!" Henri said falling to his knees

(BE) to the base

"hey kuja what curse did you put on that key?" James asked

"I didn't put a curse on it..he's just walking around the same tree repeatedly" Kuja said

"what about the fog?" James asked

"coincidence" Kuja said

"dumbass" James said

"You got stuck in the same place...dumbass" Kuja said

(BE) back to henri

"I am going to throw this damn thing as far as I can" Henri said hurling the key

"now time to go" henri said walking out the door

as he reached the wish house again

"hey the key now time to unlock the house" Henri said as he walked up to the house

(BE) to the apartments

"now why is this door not opening" Richard said

"because you are a bitch" Wally said

"your the bitch...bitch" Richard said

"Richard why are you bothering that little kid" Eileen said

"shut up bitch" Richard said

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME" she screamed

"I said Shut...up...bitch" Richard said moking her when Wally slammed on richards foot and ran off

"you little bastard!" Richard yelled as he shot at him

"OH SHIT!" Eileen said as she ran back inside

"I WILL see that kid again" Richard said leaving

(BE) to the forrest

"so this is the wish house" Henri said

"I-I-I-I guess so" Jasper said walking off

Jasper walked into a room alone

"hello Jasper" a voice said

"n-n-n-no" Jasper said in disbelief

"yes" Walter said shutting the door smirking

"w-w-w-w-why did you bring me here?" Jasper asked

"the same reason I do everthing...to commit a murder" Walter said

"well bring it" Jasper said getting in karate form

"ok then" Walter said walking to Jasper

"damn what does this note say

BANG CRASH SMACK

"screw it" Henri said walking to another part of the house

Walter is lying on the ground

"h-h-h-ha beaten a-a-again" Jasper said

"oh yeah" Walter said standing up

"hey w-w-what do you have?" Jasper asked

"this this is hair spray...and this...this is a lighter" Walter said lighting the lighter up and spraying Jasper

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Jasper screamed

"thats right burn you s-s-studering son of a bitch!" Walter yelled in joy as he vanished

"Oh my god Jasper!" Henri yelled

"I think that Wlter sullavin guy is nearby" Henri said

"I AM FIRE YOU SON OF A BITCH" Jasper screamed in agony

"oh well easy come easy go I guess" Henri said

"that mother" Jasper said as he fell to the ground

"thank god he's dead" Henri said as the fire from Jasper said

"uh-oh not good" Henri said

"time to leave" Henri said trying to open the door

"oh shit locked...Damnit I locked the keys in the door" Henri said

"whoa getting woozy again" Henri said feeling dizzy

"not a good place for this" Henri said passing out again

the fire continued to burn

END OF CHAPTER

shorter this time eh? I am surprised no one gave me shit about dreams of absolution..by the way I am listining to it again as we speak.

todays question comes from Megfallow

"did james ever find out that Frank caught his wife cheating onhim with the milk man so he grinded up her bones and put them in James birthdaycake?"

James:EWWW THAT WASN"T ROCK CANDY YOU SICK BASTARD!

Frank: heh heh uhh yeah they were

James: do thik I am going to believe that?

Darkcomet: yes

James: well you are 100 correct

Kuja: you are braindamaged aren't you?

James: Maybe

Darkcomet: well ther you have it...James figured it out then as quickly as he did forgot..So keep the questions coming

Walter: SEND THEM TO ME DAMNIT!

Darkcomet: You'll get one eventually shut up...see you next chapter


	9. James has a date

**Chapter 9**

**James has a date**

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing..not even my own life...uhhh...dead.**

As James got off of a bus that took him to a fancy restraunt in Ashfield

"hmm now where is this so called "horny" girl at" James said to himself

"may I help you sir?" A service person at the resteraunt asked

"ummm..yeah I am looking for my blind date" James said

"wee..sniker..no wonder she can't see you" The person said craking a lame joke

"OH MY GOD! Do you actually think she is blind!" James said in shock

"uhhh..no. Do you have a picture?" the man asked

"oh yeah" James said pulling out a picture

"uhh sir" the man said oddly

"yes" James said

"why do you have a naked picture of ronald mcDonald in your wallet?" the man asked

"Oh shit wrong picture" James said snagging the picture

"you do have the picture right?" the man said annoyed

"yeah...no that's nude shots of Mary...ewww ugly..ah here it is" James said pulling out a picture

"are you freaking serious!?" the man said

"yeeeaaah" James said

"positive?" the man asked again

"yes..she smoking hot eh? she is still a virgin to" James said

"bullshit" the man said

"huh" James said

"nothing..yes she's here let me show you to your table...wait how can this be a blind date if the person setting you up gave you a picture?" the man asked

"oh Namine didn't I just stalked out side of her house to get a picture" James said walking inside

(BE) to room 302

"hmmm ahh is it morning?" Hneri asked

"no...damnit" Henri said

"I wish I could play some sonic Next gen...why are you making me say that man" Hneri asked me

"shut up and keep walking around your room" I say

"fine...now let's see nothing better to do then to check the hole" Hneri said ignoring the massive piles of letters under his door

"hey the hole is bigger how the hell does this keep happening?" Hneri asked

"as a matter of fact how do I alway wind up in bed?" Henri thought

(BE) to a few hours ealier

"allright now I need Henri to get back into his bed without knowing how so can you both lift him?" Walter asked

"how much does he way" voice 1 said

"for a skinny man he sure ways alot..probablt 200 pounds" Kuja said

"so why did you leave him in the burning building?" Voice 2 asked

"what fun would it be to just drag him in the hole and stick him in bed" Walter said

"Why me" Voice 2 asked

the suspense must be mounting who are these two people...find out...now

Megfallow,and schriberjoe

"he at least I didn't send you inside of franks honeymoon sweet while him and a demon were having sex...so why am I here?" Schrieberjoe asked

"because I can stick you here..MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...AKC...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" Walter laughed

"I think you have a retard to be saving" Kuja said as schrieberjoe and Megfallow truged inside of the building

"did you really have to douse them in gasoline?" Kuja asked

"Yeah...I just wanted to piss them off" Walter said

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU WALTER!!" Megfallow screamed at Walter

"we better leave" Walter said running

"yeah" Kuja agreed following right behind him

"let me know how that ended up guys" I Darkcomet said

(BE) back in Room 302

"I guess the world will never know." Henri said climbing back into his evergrowing hole...eww

(BE) back at said resteraunt

"so you are famous?" James asked

"kind of" the woman said

"so uhh...what was your name again?" James asked

"Ashley...Ashley Graham" Ashley said

"ah My name is James...James sunderland" James said

"So James why did your first relationship break up?" Ashley asked

"how did you know I had a former relationship?" James asked

"Namine said so" Ashley said

"oh well, I had a wife...but she died...I killed her..twice,but she was an evil bitch" James said

"I never had a relationship before...this is why I want you James" Ashley said

"well then uhhh...not sure...wanna go to a Hotel?" James asked

"sure" Ashley said quikly jumping out of her chair and going to the door

"Damn she is like that damn Mary and Maria rolled into one...very nicely rolled into one" James said smirking heading to the exit

(BE) in a dark damp hallway

"whoa how did I get here...WHO KEEPS DRAGGING ME TO THESE PLACES!" Heni screamed...we already know the answer to that don't we heh heh

"Help me" a voice said down the hallway

"oh another person...just la de freaking great" Henri said getting up and walking foward

"hey you open the door" a very fat man said

"why the hell should I?" Henri ased

"because someone is in here with me" he said

"bullshit" henri said smarting off

"hey asshole I would help you if you were in here"

"no you wouldn't you would just walk on by laughing and stuffing you fat face with oreo cookies" Henri said leaving the room

"you son of a bitch" he said

(BE) more prank time

"that son of a bitch Frank took my gun..deemed me to dangerous starting that riot and all...those bastards deserved it" Richard said sitting in his chair

knock knock knock

"what now?" Richard said getting up to answer his door

"hello" Richard said opening the door..then getting a handkerchief put over his face as he passed out

"there you go boys have at it" eileen said leaving Richard alone with two strange men

"now that she's gone...can we lose our diguises?" the first man asked

"yes we can" the second one said as chains shot out from both of ther heads

after a few minets of tearing off masks and costumes the men were finally relvealed

it was the hang men from Brookhaven Hospital

"so can we have our way with him now?" the first one asked

"yes" the second one replied as they did naughty things to richards anus

(BE) to the nearest motel 6

as an apology Schrieber joe was allowed to watch Ashley strip in the bathroom...you've earned it..lucky guy

"so James what do you think?" Ashley said naked

"I think this is strange" James said

"huh?" Ashley said

"you claim to be a virging...and yet all of these notes are in your private sweet...like this one "best sex ever...love George" "I will call you...love peter" ...and this one..."you gave me AIDS you bitch I will see your ass in court...Love Tom" why are these letters here? James asked

"because uhhh...it was a game we play...yeah that's it...I really am a virgin...I swear" she said crossing her fingers behind her back

"that makes no sense...but I belive you I don't think you have AIDS" James said

"yeah that bastard already had it" Ashley said

"what?" James said

"nothing...now let me make you feel good" Ashley said coming close to James

" I already feel good though...oh thats what you mean" James said

(BE) back to Henri

"I wonder where I am supposed to be going?" Henri said confused

"hmmm why don't I go to the roof...wait why do I want to go there?" Henri asked himself

"Darkcomet why do I want to go to the roof...are you listinig to dreams of Absolution again!" Henri said

"shut the hell up and get to the roof!" I screamed

"allright fine going ...hardass" Henri said to me...bastard

(BE) to the motel six

"so how was it?" James asked

"the best and the longest ever...it lasted 30 whole seconds" Ashley said

"that's why I wish I called myself the half minuet man" James said

"can we do it again?" Ashley asked

"sure I got thrity seconds" James said starting with Ashley again

(BE) lucky bastard...uhhh...Back to Henri he he

"why does it seem that this place is in the middle of nowhere?" Henri asked

"well here I am at the top" Henri said after 5 minuets of climbing

"so what am I supposed to do in here?" Henri said

"ahh how about twisting the wheel here" Henri said

twist

swish

"nothing huh...what!"

RUMBLE RUMBLE

"HOLY SHIT!" Henri screamed as Water shot out of a pipe near himand hit him over th wall plummiing down...down...down.

END OF CHAPTER

Dun...dun...duhh cliffhanger...Ehy let me know how you like Ashley in the story she could become full time so ley us have a vote...yeah or nea...you be the judge...by the way I am NOT listining to Dreams of absolution..I am listining to "All hail Shadow" it is completely differen...oh who am I kidding it is the same

Tonights question is from Schrieberjoe

Darkcomet: it is adressed to Walter!

Walter: HELL YEAH!

darkcomet: shut up and answer the damn question

Walter: you haven't asked it yet

Darkcomet: oh yeah..."Walter, does it ever occur to you that little Wally was in fact...well,not a boy but a girl"

Walter: Damnit they found out about that surgery I gave him when he was 3...that addadicktome

Darkcomet: you did what now?

Walter: nothing...I...uhh He IS...a...uhh Boy

Darkcomet: O...k

Walter:hey what's taht (point..then runs away)

Darkcomet: o.k fine dissapoint everyone I garuntee you won't get another question for a while you bastard...hey all of you non registered readers don't be shy I will answer your questions just ask them..don't worry I will answer them as best as I can so speak up...and those who send questions don't stop (not that you have) I will answer all questions, no question is too weird...trust me...ask me anything...until next time.


	10. why do idiots fall in love

Chapter 10

why do idiots fall in love

Disclaimer: I do not own anything stated in this chapter

Completely ignoring Henri and his plummit to his doom we should cut to James

"so honey it is valintines day this is why we were on a date" Ashley said

"oh...whew...I thought I was getting the I'm pregnant talk..Thank God" James said with relief

"no...at least I hope not..anyway...I wanted to know how much do you love me?" Ashley said

"about as much as a black hole is wide" James said

"uh..James..honey..black holes are the size of pen points" Ashley said

"no shit?" James said amazed

"nevermind that question...oh shit it my ex-boyfriend Leon" Ashley said looking over at the front door of a restraunt I forgot to mention they were in

"huh where" James said as Leon walked up

"oh hi Ashley" Leon said casually

"oh hi Leon...you dick" Ashley said

"oh not this again" Leon said

"what?" James asked

"she thinks I was cheating on her but we" Leon started to say

"you broke my heart leon" Ashley said

cue sad music

do do do do

cut sad music

"WE NEVER WERE TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Leon screamed

"don't lie leon you cheated on me with Hunnigan" Ashely said

"I never slept with her either" Leon said

"she told me all about it" Ashley said

"wait aren't you that guy who is married to my cousin Ada Wong?" James asked

"yes I ...oh hey James it's you" Leon said remembering James

"you two know each other?" Ashley asked

"yeah we have met" Leon said

(BE) flashback

it is 5 years prior at Leon's wedding and of corse James is there with Walter

"I would like to propose a toast" James said

"I have never seen a couple who do it more than my dear cousin and mr...uh..I forget his name...I would like to point something out though...I'M WASTED!" James screamed before passing out

"uhh don't mind him I'll just stuff him in the nearest closet you know till he sobers out" Walter said dragging James off

about 30 minuets later

"are you in here?" a female voice asked

"uh huh" James said with a hangover

"good let me just get undressed" the lady said

"o.k" James said seeing this turn into his favor

"good let's get started" the lady said

"o.k" James said

"ada are you in there yet?" Leon asked

"huh?" James said

"Leon then who is this?" Ada said turning on the light

"JAMES!" Ada said in shock

"ADA! WHAT THE HELL!" James said

there Ada was standing naked and James ans only in his underwear

"I think I am gonna puke" Leon said

"son of a bitch" Frank said walking up

"what is going oh here?...oh my god" Walter said walking up to the closet

"hey guys are we gonna cut the cake?...I'll come back later" Ada's father said walking up

(BE) back to the present

"so James you were going to bang your cousin?" Ashley asked

"only because I thought she was a hot bridesmaid confusing me for someone else" James said

"yeah and Ada had to get therapy for about half a year" Leon said

"did I ask you you cheating bastard" Ashley said

"Yeah actually you did" Leon said

"you still cheated on me...James I lied he actually took my virginity" Ashley said

"I don't think so I mean before he married Ada I thought he was Gay..actually I still think he is gay" James said

"thanks...I guess" Leon said

"come on Ashley it feel way to Resident Evil 4 in here..let's go back to my place"James said as they got up to leave the camera panned over to Salaazar saddler and Mendez and Krauser were sitting at a table

"what is his problem?" Krauser asked

"he is probobably gay" Salaazar said

"yeah you would know you homo" Saddler said

"screw you I'm not putting up with this shit" Salazaar said getting up and leaving

(BE) to henri

"I think I have been falling for about a week now...I wonder what is at the bottom" Henri said

THUD

he landed above where he came out from the first floor

"damn you law of gravity" Henri said getting up

"I think I need to get in the Hole that was placed in that last room" Henri said crawling back to the room with the hole

(BE) back to the base

"I think that Henri will kill himself before he even get's to the next victim" Walter said

"I bet he makes it" Kuja said

door slams

"Oh good James you're home" Walter said not even looking at the person who entered

"I'm not James" a voice said

"there is no way in hell" Walter said

"oh there is a way...now we are going to kick your ass" another voice said

it was a severley burnt Schrieberjoe and Megfallow

"you left us to die your son of a bitch" Mefallow said holding a bat in her hand

"and you didn't answer my question asshole" Schrieberjoe said also holding a bat

"yeah Walter shame on you" Kuja said

"Kuja you left us in there to...and you know water in ice magic" Megfallow said

"oh yeah...uhh...about that...er...RUN WALTER RUN!" Kuja screamed as he took off running but was caught and almost beaten to death my megfallow

"oh I couldn't hurt you kuja" Megfallow said

"thank you sweet jesus" Kuja said happy he was then hit in the sise of the face by Megfallows bat

"I lied" Megfallow said

and schrieberjo began kick a bloody walter who was crying on the ground

"sweet carnage...I love moments like this" I said

(BE) back in room 302

Henri who without any explination was back in his bed

"I'm just not going to ask" Henri said

"I think I...don't have anything important to do here...damnit why did I come back then" Henri said as he truged back to the hole

(BE) torcher time

richard had just woken up

"ow my ass hurts really bad" Richard said holding his buttox

"hey richard I need your help" Eileen screamed across the apartment

"what do you want bitch" Richard said

"I came here to make you some dinner for an apology but I dropped something down in your drain" Eileen said

"oh all right let me get it" Richard said walking over to the drain

" thanks I need your help" Eileen reached over and...grabbed an apple

"apple?" Eileen asked cheerfully

"no thanks..ah here it is" he pulled out a ring

"thank you I was worried that I lost it forever" Eileen said

"what were you making?" Richard asked

"chicken" Eileen said

"oh goody" Richard said ignorant to the fact that Eileen had been making his life hell for the whole time he had lived here

"hey do you have any ketchup?" she asked

"yeah" Richard said

"where is it" Eileen asked

"in the closet" Richard said

"why?" she asked

"no clue" richard said as he walked into the closet

"hmmm ah here it is" Richard said

"good because the chicken is done" Eileen said

so after a nice dinner

"that was good well I gotta go" Eileen said getting up

"oh allright" Richard said

"bye" Eileen said as she left

"now where was I" Richard asked himself

"Hey richard come here" Eileen said from outside the apartment

"forget somethinggggggggg" Richard screamed as he fell into a hole full of rabinous lions

"DAMN YOU WOMAN DAMN YOU" Ricahrd screamed

(BE) back to ther prison

"now that I am in the basement where should I go" Henri said

he had climed down the stairs where he was repeatedly bitch slapped by wall monsters

"hey look at this" Henri said walking up to a sign with a key on it might as well look for a locked door

(BE) to the base

"Hey guys are you home?" James said looking

"are they here?" Ashley asked

"surprisingly not" James said

"so what doyou wanna do?" Ashley asked

"got thirty seconds?" James asked

"you bet let's go" Ashley and james run twords the bedroom

Kuja and Walter have been strung from the roof by there feet

"do you think he even saw us?" Kuja asked

"probably not" Walter said

"who do you think that was with him...do you think that was his girlfiend" Kuja asked

"no...but if she is she is either really stupid...or just really REALLY horny" Walter said

"well she is hot though" Kuja said

"yeah but she is probably a man" Walter said

(BE) to henri

"so this key was to the second floor eh..well whats behind door number one?" Henri asked

"looks normal enough...I guess I should leeeaaavvveee" He screamed as he fell down a hole

"son of a bitch!" He screamed before he hit the bottom and passed out

END OF CHAPTER

Happy early valintines day now time for some questions

"todays question comes from megfallow"

"herni did you steal my Alice in chains CD?"

Henri: of course not

Darkcomet: then what are you listining to?

Henri:uhh JILL in chains yeah..they do the same songs see (pulls out an Alice in chains CD with the Words Alice marked out and Jill wrote in)

Darkcomet:that is a pretty crappy cover up henri and I'm pretty sure Megfallow can kick your ass

Walter: don't worry she can

Kuja:when is someone going to ask me a question...I am pretty sure I am better than these guys anyway

Walter: hey buddy watch it

James: no he's right

Darkcomet: I agree so please ask kuja a question..the way things look where I live I won't have school today so read and review fast because..I may update today..and again any Anonomis readers..please voice your opinions (unless you are like that Dante guy) I would love to hear your questions don't be embarresed..I am the one who is listining to Dreams of Absolution here...so please..but if you don't want I won't hate you...how about this the first hmmm..3 anonomis reviewers get to beat down James in this story


	11. Henri hates holes

Chapter 11

Henri hates holes

Disclaimer:nothing...you get it

When we had last left Henri he was plummiting...again...actually he had plummated and passed out

"mmm what the ...whoa" Henri said

(BE) inside Henri's dream

"I want to make things perfectally clear...I did not have intercourse with your sister Gaara" Henri said

"I didn't ask you about my sister I asked you how your day was" Gaara said wide eyed

"oh then I feel great I just banged your...uhhh..nothing" Henri said

"oh thats it SAND COFFIN!" Gaara said as sand engulfed Henri

"SAND BURIAL!" Gaara screamed as he crushed Henri

"Oh No!" the Cool aid guy said appearing from nowhere

"what the?" Gaara asked

"Cool beam!" the cool aid man shot Gaara

(BE) back to reality

"AHHHH...oh heh bad dream" Henri said getting up

"hmm now where am I? I wish I had a flashlight...wait it's not dark so why would that help me?" Henri said spotting a ladder

"Ahha that is where I must go" Henri said climbing an incredibally tall ladder

(BE) to the base

"owww my neck hurts" Walter said complaining about the beating he took last chapter

"I was decieved...I will have my revenge Megfallow...I will" Kuja said shaking his fist in the air

"damn man where is James" Walter said

"oh hi guys" James said appearing on que

"where the hell have you been?" Kuja asked

"oh just spending time with Ashley" James said

"wait James...is she a guy?" Walter asked

"no" James answered

"how about stupid" Kuja asked

"no she actually repeatedly saved my cousin's husband leon when she was sent to rescue him from that European village" James said

"I thought that was the other way around" Walter said

"no, she told me so" James said

"so James have you...you know yet?" Walter asked

"yes for thirty whole seconds" James said proudly

"WOW! James that is a new record for you" Walter said clapping

"yeah thirty...wait did you say thirty seconds or minuets because thirty seconds is kind of bad" Kuja said

"huh?" James said looking at Kuja funny

"Kuja shut up and congratulate him or he will flip out" Walter whispered in kujas ear

"did I say Seconds were bad...I meant Minuets..Thirty seconds...yeah that is awsome the longer...er..shorter the better" Kuja faked happiness

"thanks buddy..I could hook you up with one of her sisters" James said

"really can I see what one of them look like?" Kuja said

"yeah let me see here" James said getting in Ashley's purse

"here ya' go" James handed him the picture

"hey thanks...oh sweet jesus" Kuja said looking at the picture

"what is i..whoa" Walter said

in the picture was about 50 of the same looking girls standing next to each other..they all looked like ashley

"mother of god...James what is ...one of their names?" Kuja asked

"ohh that's Ashley..and this this is Ashley..oh and that this is Ashley" James said pointing out girls

"oh god so I could cheat and they could never tell me I was doin wrong...cause I hae no idea which one is which" Walter said

"now if you will excuse me for thirty seconds" James said as he went back to the bedroom

"Uhh Walter" Kuja said looking at james leaving

"yes Kuja" Walter said

"he was naked that whole time wasn't he?" Kuja asked

"I believe so" Walter answered

"well I'm going to go kill myself wanna come" Kuja asked

"nah I'll just wait to die from some disease or something" walter said

(BE) back to the prison

"uhh finally made it to the top of the ladder...well atleast to the first floor of this place" Henri said gasping for breath

"now there better be something of pretty damn importance up here" Henri said looking around

"hey a note" Henri said Finally noticing a note on the ground

"hey boss I am going to leave this note lying around so one of the prisinors can find it even though it contains the code you told us to never breath a word of it...0000...that code sucks man but in order to actually use it they must know to turn these handles on the next to floors..two to the left and one to the right respectivley to line up bloody beds...even though theoreticaly you could just line up three holes with the bottom one as a bloody bed but for some reason that won't work..no idea why though...anywho just do that and you will reach the torture chamber"

"that seemed pretty specific" Henri said moving up to the next floor and twisting the handle and then doing the same thing foe the next floor

click...CLANG

"I wonder what that was..oh well I worry about it later" Henri said

"so now whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttt" Henri fell down...you guessed it another hole all ten minuets to the bottom

"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Henri screamed like a little girl then he hit the bottom

(BE) to richard for the last time (a tear forms in Darkcomets eye)

"ok now whatthe hell could possibly go wron now I hae been stabbed...mauled..probably raped...and been publically humiliated ...what could go wrong now?" Richard asked

knock knock knock

"yeah waddya want" Richard said

"hello sir we are jehovas witnesses" a jehovas witness said

"uh huh I bet...who put you up to this Eileen or frank?" Richard asked

"sir what are you talking about?" the other Jehovas witness said

"well I'm not going down that easy" Richard said as he pulled out a gun and shot one of them between the eyes

"Holy shit man what is your problem!" the alive one screamed

"shut up" Richard said as he shot him too

"hey Richard" Eileen said rounding the corner with frank

"oh shit I guess you didn't send them huh?" Richard said

"oh you killed the jehovas witnesses oh well tha stole my panties anyway" Eileen said as she snatched back her panties from one of their pockets

"yeah and those little bastard kids are stabbing adults again and the adults pulled out their guns and there is another damn riot...tha granny has a rocke launcher" Frank sad as an explosion happened

"oh well not my problem" Richard said as he turned around...big mistake

"NOW!" Eileen said as she trapped Richard in a sack

"Pinata Pinata" Frank yelled as everyone in the apartments came holding bats...clubs...whips...spiked sticks..guns...and a rocket launcher

needless to say we know what happens

(BE) back to the prison

"uhhh how do I keep falling and living?" Henri asked him self

"no clue" a voice said

"uhh what the hell?" Henri said in shock

"hey it's me the guy you left in the cell" the man said annoyed

"who are you again?" Henri asked

"never mind...hey my name is Andrew Desalvo" Andrew said

"so why should I care" Henri said

tug tug

"OH GOD IT'S YOU!" he screamed looking at Wally

"hey it's that little bastard how are you doing" Henri said waving

Wally then ran off

"who is that anyway?" Henri asked

"oh that, that's Walter Sullavin" Andrew said

"you mean that goy who locked me in my room?" Henri said

"no..wait what...how could he lock you in your room if you are here?" Andrew asked

"long story any way gota run" Henri said leaving

(BE) back at the base

"oh shit" Walter said

"what is it?" Kuja asked

"I forgot to give Henri that Damned that damn forest plac card...studderiness" Walter said

"well you got to kill this guy soon anyway might as well leave it and the new one at the door" Kuja said

"good idea gotta go" Walter said running off

(BE) back to Henri

"well here we are this time I must fall down these holes...well BONZAI!" Henri screamed as he jumped in

he landed on the worlds most comfortable matress

"hmm convinent this is down here" Henri said getting up and walking across the room

"hey two plac cards studderiness and... the fat bastard" Henri said trying to open the door

"damn I need a code to enter...what was the code again?" Henri asked himself

(BE) beyond that door

"why did I lock myself in here?" Andrew asked himself

"good question you fat dumbass" Walter said hiding in the corner

"no not you" Andrew stammered backing into the corner

"yes me and I am now goint to stab you to death" Walter said

"no please go no" Andrew said backing up as he tripped and fell into the water

"help I'm drowining" He struggled to swim

"hey buddy the water is ankle deep" Walter said

"goodbye cruel world" he said as he died

"umm sure I guess that counts now just to carve the numberes" Walter said as he carved

(BE) outside the door

"acsses denied" a computer said

"damn I need to really start writing important info. like this down..wait could it be 0000" Henri said as he tried that

"acsses granted" the computer said as the door opened

"cool...hey wait Andrew is dead oh whatthe hell I didn't like him nyway" Henri said

"oh shit getting woozy again...whoa...ah not good" Henri said as he collapsed

He later awoke in his room

"mmmm hey the sun is starting to set" Henri said as he looked out his window

he walked back into his living room and he loked through the Hole to Eileen's room

"hey look it's butt the rabbit I wonder why it is named that." Henri said as he looked around

"might as well go back to the hole" he said as he went into his bathroom

"hmm it got biger again oh well" Henri said as he crawled in it

Henri found himself in an alleyway

"well getting higher up in the world eh?" Henri asked himself as he walked down the alley

"why the hell is there a car on a roof" Henri now relising he is on a roof and there is a car there

"aaaaaaaahhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" a scream came

"hmm" Henri said looking up

"AHHHHHHH!" he saw a man falling

thud

"ow my ass huh where the hell am I?" Richard asked himself

"hey aren't you Richard Braintree..that guy that Frank and Eileen torment all of the time?" Henri asked

"yeah..wait is Eileen behind this?" Richard asked reaching for his gun

"no...I have been stuck in my room for about..Oh I don't know THREE WEEKS..AND NO ONE HAS TRIED TO HELP ME!" Henri screamed

"hey didn't a guy live there befor you?...yeah he did" Richard said answering his own question

"uhh I guess" Henri answered as well

"have you been getting any letteres under your door?" Richard asked

"Damn that is what I have been forgetting" Henri said

"well I'm leaving so uh good luck I guess" Richard said

no sooner had he left about three monkey like creatures fell form the sky and surrounded Henri

"damn...I'm screwed" Henri said as he drew out his pipe

END OF CHAPTER

will Henri make it...what is to become of Richard...Where the hell did Sora and Kairi go...oh wait I know the answer to that one...it involves a comfort inn..and a king sized bed

Darkcomet: allright time for a question today it is from schrieberjoe.l.and no it is not for Kuja

Kuja: DAMN IT

Darkcomet: anyway the question is for richard "assumming you were GAY and were trapped inside a lift with Henri,James,Walter Frank,salaazar,Leon,and Saddler who would you bang?(hint: you have to bang at least one to get the lift doors open)"

Richard: assuming I was Gay...hmmmALL OF THEM!

James: oh shit

Walter:please go stay away from me

Frank: no please don't rape me...rape my son James

Leon:damn why does everyone want to rape me

Saddler:no just no

salazaar:yeah rape...I mean please god no

Kuja: thank god I was not included in that...but I am still awaiting a question to call my own

Darkcomet: there you go he would bang them all..and only one of them is willing (looks at Salazaar) andhe would probably enjoy it. so that is all for now kiddos so please read and Review.


	12. He gets his wish

Chapter 12

He gets his wish

Disclaimer: if you haven't figured out by now are you freaking crazy...cause I am...nothng,owned

"monkey noises" the monkey said

"Damn can't I just act normal,I mean I have seen 3 people die today" Henri said getting angry

"give up puny human you can't hope to match the three of us let alone me" the head monkey said confidently

"or so you think for you see I have the weapon that slayed so many before you...MY STEEL PIPE!" Henri said pulling out his pipe

"what that rusted out piece of shit" the monkey said confused

"rusted?" Henri said looking at his pipe

"gah" Henri said his pipe was all rusted and useless

"uh-oh...uh,look over there" Henri said pointing and then taking off into the door where Richard went

(BE) to the base

"hey kuja, who is this wandering around looking confused?" Walter asked

"t-t-that's my brother" Kuja said shaking in excitement

"what did you invite him here or something?" Walter asked

"no I lured him here, Remember I want to KILL him" Kuja said

"oh...well let's just hope he doesn't find that retard Henri...up to late" Walter said

(BE) back to building world

"hey there man" a blonde haired guy said

"whoa buddy do you have a freaking monkey tail?" Henri said starteled

"why yes...yes it is" he said

"do you have a name?" Henri asked

a blue menu pops up asking you to enter your name

"Zidane...that's my name" Zidane said

"so why are you here?" Henri asked

"oh I got an invitation saying that there was a party with drunk and horny girls here...but" Zidane started to say

"no shit a drunky horny girl party...screw this I am there" Henri said

"ok then here it is" Zidane said as women piled in to the room they were in

"yeah...yeah...YEAH!" Henri said starting to dance

(que party music)

actually henri is dancing with none of the above...except Zidane with a freaked out look on his face

"dude where can I get what you are smoking?" Zidane asked

"huh? oh right...so where is this party?" Henri asked

"that's just it there is none I have been standing in this room for about thirty freaking minuets having just now relized myself...there is no party" Zidane said

"oh...bummer" Henri said

"yeah but hey Vivi got the invitation to I wonder where he is?" Zidane said

(BE) to the bahamas

"Hey Vivi" Steiner said walking up to Vivi

"oh god him again...Hey steiner what going on" Vivi said

"where is Zidane...and where is your wife Quina?" Stiner said laughing

"HEY! I already told you damnit that that was just to get to the tree...and as for Zidane, Why the hell should I care?" Vivi said saying

"yeah I heard about his and Garnets divorce" Stiner said

"We all got envelopes from Kuja saying "no hard feelings for trying to kill you take a vacation on me" he is allright" Vivi said

"Yeah...but still where is Zidane?" Stiner said

"to hell with him...I gotta get my groove on" Vivi said getting up and leaving with at least 5 girls to do...uh things (heh heh)

"you want have sex with me?" Quina said to Stiener

"no I told you only the 7 times...oh why the hell not at least call my wife Beatrix...we need to find ot what you are any way" Stiener said walking off

(BE) back to henri

"I wonder if you are going to die here" Henri said

"no I have 99 thing to bring me back to life" Zidane said

"hey uh you need some one to use them on you when you die man" Henri said

"oh shit that's right...well there ten thousand Gil down the drain" Zidane said

"well at least it's not a total loss there IS a birthday cake in here" Henri said

"whoa and a dead guy stabbed to the floor" Zidane said

"come on just take this damn sword out of me" the ghost said annoyed

"hey did you just talk" Henri asked

"no I didn't say anything" the ghost said lying down

"I am gonne kill Kuja for this" the ghost thought

"well he has no reason to lie...soooo...cut that beautiful cake"zidane said

"hey it's plastic..damn" Henri said bummed again

"well to hell with this see you around man I need to get laid" zidane said walking off the way Henri came

"oh well here's a sword" Henri said pulling a sword out of the ghost

"yes free hahahahahahahahahahahahahah now I will smite you for farting on me earlier" the ghost said...the same ghost from the subway said

"why where you pinned by this sword?" Henri asked

"uhhhh suicied attempt" the ghost lied

"oh ok...FAAAAAAAARRRRRRTTTTTTT!" Henri launched a sneak attack

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the ghost screamed as it passed out

"hey he has a key...sweet" Henri said grabbing the key

(BE) to Zidane

"now there HAS to be some Women SOMEWHERE!" Zidane said geeting frstrated

"hello...Brother" Kuja said appearing behind Zidane

"Liquid I told you I am NOT you damnBrother...oh Kuja it's you" Zidane said calming down

"yes it's me how are you?" Kuja sked

"good how about you?" Zidane asked

"can't complain...OH my god Is that Tifa and Aeris naked making out behind you" Kuja said shocked as he pointed

"Holy shit really!?" Zidane said turning around seeing James standing there waving like an idiot

"I only see some mental guy there...whoa Kuja why did you go trance?" zidane asked

"ULTIMA!" Kuja screamed as he killed Zidane

"finally he is dead..I can relax a little" Kuja said going back to normal

"but Kuja didn't you say that you would stay with us until your brother was dead?" James said starting to get sad

"yeah..I did...but I have changed my mind I am staying besides I have some people James you should meet...Hey where is ashley?" Kuja asked

"are you blind she's right...uhhh...shit this is bad huh?" James said

"well where is she?" Kuja asked

"I guess I left her somewhere...she can't climb down ladders ya'know" James said

"so you didn't come down any ladders" Kuja said

"well let's go find her" James said

"how about YOU go find her" Kuja said disapearing

"damn I knew that was coming" James said as he walked off

(BE) back in the forest

"uh where am I that damn studdering freak knocked me out for quite a few chapters...uh right now let's get started...hasha moki jamine!" Zombie Laura chanted as zombies rose out of the ground

"mmmm hungry" Zombie eddie said

"where am I?" Zombie angela asked

"am I alive?" Zombie Maria asked

"I'm back again" Zombie Mary said

"well now isn't HYUK this touching" Zombie goofy said

"well now my zombie warriors it is time to take revenge on James that prick" Laura said trying to lead a march when a steam roller rolled through leving forest and killing all but Zombie Maria

"are you coming?" Laura said turning around

"no I have my own business to tend to" Maria said after just getting all of her flesh back

"you are going to have to tell me how you did that" Zombie Laura said

"don't need to...eternal rest" Maria said

Zombie laura dissapeared

"now James honey it's time to make love" Maria said looking for james

all of a sudden Ron Simmons walks up

"DAMN!" he said as he walked off

(BE) back to room 302

"Frank this is our best prank ever...are you done yet?" Eileen asked

"almost...yes done...now all we have to do is wait...go on home when the light flickers you'll know we got him" Frank said

"ohhh I can't wait" Eileen said giddy with anticipation

(BE) back to the building

"hmm a sporting goods stor eh...enteresting" Henri said

"Oh...My...God...It's...IT'S...IT'S...A BAT...A BASEBALL BAT!" Henri said with glee as he ran out of the room

"don't worry man he won't find us" the dogs from the subway said

"hey the talking dogs...I thought one of your heads exploded?" Henri said

"oh sweet jesus he's back I thought he would leave us alone but dear god he's here" the dog said freaking out

"oh well batting practice." Henri said

(BE) back at the base

"hey Kuja I found ashley" James said walking in holding Ashleys hand

"yeah I was still in the bedroom" Ashley said

"well that's good to know" Kuja said

"Oh I knew" Walter said

"what walter?" James said

"I did not say I knew and tookpictures of her naked...swear to god" Walter said holding a roll of film behind his back

"oh james honey" a female voice said

"no!" Walter said in shock

"it' can't be" Kuja said in shock

"there is no way in hell" James said

they all saw the newl rejuvinated Maria

"James who is this whore?" Ashley said

"watch your mouth bitch" Maria said

"whoa this is getting good" James said standing next to Walter and Kuja

"Well at least I don't earn my money laying on my back" Ashley said

"ohhh burn" James screamed

"don't talk about me like that you ho" Maria said

"oh snap" Kuja said

"why do you want to talk to James anyway he is MY boyfriend" Ashley said

"like someone that..mmmm..sexy would fall for an ugly bitch like you" Maria said

"ouch man that hurts" Walter said

"say that again" Ashley said

"ugly...bitch" Maria said

ashley then dove ontop of Maria and they started to pull each others hair

"ouch you bitch" Maria screamed

"whore" Ashley screamed as they rolled around on the ground

"OH YEAH CATFIGHT!" James screamed

"RIGHT ON MAN HIGH FIVE!" Walter said

"I don't see why this is so entertain...OH CLOTHES ARE BEING RIPPED OFF NOW IT'S INTERESTING!" Kuja screamed as well

now the two girls were naked

"James you lucky bastard" Kuja said

"aww damnit I have to go kill richard..wait this is being taped survelence...YES!" Walter said running off

(BE) back in the woods

two silouhettes were standing there

"ahh back from the dead...uhh... again" one said

"yes it is refreshing" a feminen voice said

"oh god they buried me next to you...I gotta go burn a village to burn...get this shit away from me" the first silohette said stepping out of the shadows revealing...SEPHIROTH!

"darkcomet take your damn money I am not going to work this guy so see you in hell" Sephrioth said storming off

Drakcomet: Damnit he was my best villian..sigh I guess you will do

"goody" the feminine voice said

END OF CHAPTER

Who is the mysterious shadow...even though you probably already know...for those of you who DO...he won't be here long just a little while...because...well his third form Really..REALLY pisses me off.

Darkcomet: allright question time...it is for kuja...gasp

Kuja: Wow I get to kill my brother...watch a catfight...and answer a question...that is freaking excellent news

Darkcomet: I suppose, do you like questions about your death?

Kuja: uh not particularly

darkcomet:well to freaking bad it is from Megfallow "what implement of torture would you like to be killed on...an iron maiden, a rack, or being strapped to a chair and watching Antique road show on PBS for twelve hours? (in creepey voice) make your choice

Kuja: ok weird...uhhh...hmmm

all three implements of torture are on display in front of him

Kuja uhhh...the road show

all others are lowered into the floor

Kuja: good thing I like this show...Ha tricked you again Megfallow.ha ha ha

Darkcomet; you know it isn't wise to mock my reviewers but hey it's your life...tune in next time for more this room sucks action.


	13. this isn't a fish fry

CHAPTER 13

This isn't a fish fry

Disclaimer: I swear to god I own nothing in this chapter..snicker...HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

We had last left Henri after he had just started to beat the dogs from the subway with his new baseball bat

"whooo...now THIS is a weapon it slices...even though it is not meant to" Henri said

"ow my damn head" said a voice crawling in the room

"who's there?" Henri asked

"it's me idiot" Zidane said

"oh hey monkey boy" Henri said not noting that Zidane is on the brink of death

"my damn brother tried to kill me" Zidane said

"oh yeah that's nice" Henri said not paying attention

"I mean I thought we were close after he tried the first time" Zidane said

"yeah those taxes are a bitch" Henri said

"what?" Zidane said

"well look you can talk about yourself later I have somewhere to be" Henri said walking off

"dick" Zidane said

"I like your outfit to" Henri said leaving

(BE) back to the base

the catfight is over

"whoo man I can't believe Ashley kicked the shit out of Maria that badly" Kuja said

"I can, hey Kuja I was watching a documentary" James started to say

"my god James YOU were watching something EDUCATIONAL...wow I AM impressed" Kuja said sarcastically

"shutup..anyway it was about you...blowing up planets and what not?" James asked

"hell yeah I love blowing stuff up you know...oh but don't worry James I won't hurt you" Kuja said

"oh thank god...I was afraid you were going to blow this planet up to" James said in relief

"hey retard I LIVE here, why would I want to blow it up...except when I went completley psycotic" Kuja said

"well it WAs a documentory" James said

"so I bet Carl sagan was narrating wasn't he?" Kuja asked

"yes I think so" James said

"well you probably shouldn't believe him" Kuja said

"Oh James I want to go for a whole minuet now" Ashley called from the other room

"Oh yeah be there in a second..see your single ass later" James said mocking Kuja

"bastard...Oh to hell with it I am getting on E harmony...I hope I don't get wierd mail like Walter did (shudders)" Kuja said

(BE) to the building

"ahh outside again it feels great" Henri said

all of a sudden the monkeys from before were back again

"you aren't running this time" the head monkey said

"your right I'm not" Henri said acting cool

"act as cool as you want your still a dumbass" the one monkey said

"rghhhhhhhhhhhh...DIE!!!!" Henri drew his bat and began to beat those monkeys enough to make even the most hardened individual cry like a little girl

"now do you see" Henri said

":cough: I will see you in hell:cough:" the head monkey said dying

"oh ok see you there...Hell...sounds nice I wonder where it is" Henri said going back inside

"well it looks like an elevator" Henri said as he pushed the button that said big freaking stair case

"well that seems rather odd but cool" Henri said pushing the button

oh his way down he saw another elevator...did I mention the elevator was some sort of mesh...I just figured it was self explanitory by now

"hey kid why are you out of breath?" Richard said

"you REALLY don't want to know" Wally said hiding a slingshot behind him

"well whatever...I swear if Eileen is the one behind this...I'm killing You, and Her because y'all playing with my emotions" Richard said

"up your you old prick" Wally said stomping on Richards Foot and the kneeing him in the groin

"you little bastard come back here" Richard said chasing the kid

"whoa I am surprised the Elevator moved so slow until now" Henri said as the elevator sped up

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"huh?" Henri said as he saw the cord for the elevator snapped

"shit" Henri said as he dove out of the open elevator door and landed in a stair case

"Damn Darkcomet has me skipping all over this damn place" Henri said

Darkcomet:shut up I forgot how it goes allright...now get going before I bring out Sigma to rape you

"I'll be good" Henri said he clearly doesn't want me to bring out sigma

(BE) inside of richards room

"oh shhhhh Frank here he comes" Eileen said as Richard approached...they some how saw him

"aww it feels good to be home" Richard said sitting down in his chair as Eileen and Frank pounced

"what the hell man you tied my arms down" Richard said

"that isn't even the best part" Eileen said as she lifted a plug and out let

"OH SWEET JESUS NO DON'T DO IT!" Richard pleaded

(BE) back to henri

"damn hufff stairs huff to many..huh a plac card...oh shit some one is freaking dead" Henri said taking the screwed Plac card

as he went inside

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHH...hggg...AHHHHHHH!" Richard screamed as he was electrocuted

"yes this is the best prank ever" Eileen said with joy

"you demented bithc pranks are pranks you are freaking killing him" Henri said freaking out

"wait aren't you...Frank aren't you late for something" Eileen said she couldn't see Henri

"oh to hell with both of you i'll help him" ZAP

"ow shit wait why don't I unplug it" Henri said

"huh it turned off" Eileen said coming back

"pretty funny eh Richard?" Frank asked

"uhh...Frank I think He's...He's...He's...dead" Eileen said very scared

"well no shit" Henri said

"I gotta go back to my apartment...Frank you know nothing O.K" Eileen said

"right" Frank said leaving

"well see you in hell dumbasses" Henri said

Wally appeared

"you know they are coming right?" Wally said

"who's coming...it certaintly isn't me" Henri said

"no duh...you will see soon enough" Wally said

"whoa dizzy again...I hate this feeling." Henri said as he passed out

"Hello again richard remember me Walter Sullavin Your old...prison...mate" Walter said busting into the room and noticing Richard is dead and Henri is passed out on the floor

"damn...well Bill time to come out again" Walter said pulling out his talking spoon

"about damn time I came in this story" Bill the spoon said

"you know what this means right?" Walter said

"what" Bill said

"we have to part ways" Walter said

(whoa that is freaking wierd Aeris's theme from FF VII just started to play on my computer)

"why?" Bill asked

(BE) flash back

"in order to turn back to normal I must Have Richards blood touch me" bill said to walter in prison

(BE) back to the present

"oh..right..well let's just get this over with then" Bill said

"right" Walter said as he plunged the spoon in richards decseased body

he then dropped the spoon

the spoon then transformed itno...Aeris from FF VII

"what the hell...your a girl" Walter said

"that's right I only called myself bill when I was the spoon because I sounded like a man" Aeris said

"oh is that so" Walter said Grabbing Aeris and chucking her out the window

"I FREAKING HATE YOU AERIS!" walter screamed after her

Darkcomet: hey uh walter...yeah that thing with Aeris...that was awesome..I don't like her either...keep up the good work

"I should really be getting paid for this shit" Walter said snapping his fingures and Henri dissapeared

"but hey I am still claiming credit for this" Walter said as he pulled out a knife and started to carve numbers in

(BE)back in room 302

"ohh...hey I am back in my room..it's been a while" Henri said getting up

"oh yeah richard...I actually feel bad for this one...just a little though" Henri said heading for his living room

"there is still nothing here worth looking at" Henri said as he went into his bathroom

"oh well back into the hole" Henri said

he woke up in a hall way

"hmm room 303" Henri said as he saw a door and then looked down the hallway and saw Walter knocking on a door of course he doesn't know who Walter is because he has been neglecting to read his notes under his door...which are piling up

knock knock

"is it the police" Eileen said from behind the door

"damnit girl this isn't the damn police...I mean yes...uh this IS the police" Walter said disguising his voice

"I didn't do anything" Eileen said

"yes you did a trail of blood lead o this room now open up" Walter demanded

"no I don't want to" Eileen said

"fine screw you then" Walter said noticing Henri

Walter then left the hallway and henri followed him

"damn girl I freaking hate her" Walter said sitting on the steps

"hey man how do you know eileen?" Henri asked

"oh well I met her when I was about...hmm..6 and she gave me this damn raggy thing" Walter said pulling out a doll

"she looked like such a freaking brat holding her mothers hand...god I hate her..she does have a good bod though" Walter said looking at the bright side

"I hear that...I mean i convinced her to have sex with me when ever she sees me again..by acting like I was the disembodied voice of god" Henri said

"nice" Walter said giving Henri a high five

"well I gotta go...here you can have this damn doll I don't freaking doll" Walter said

"don't you want it though" Henri said

"I just said I didn't and it isn't even mine anyway it's my mentally retarded friends doll..I personally can't stand it" Walter said dissaprearing

"hmm should I trust Him?" Henri thought trying to make an impossible choice...to take the doll or to not take the doll

END OF CHAPTER

Hey new chapter so soon back in the swing of things I think... Everyone who reads this review me and tell me wether Henri should take the doll or not

Darkcomet: Question time it is for...ME!

Walter: Bastard

Darkcomet: hey shut up I like this question it is Schrieberjoe

Walter: I still don't like him

Darkcomet: well he can beat the shit out of that...besides you are gay in his stories which makes me laugh like mad so before I start keep up the good work

Walter: Bastard

Darkcomet(glares at Walter) any way the question is " Which one of the characters would you like to kill the most? why?" oh so much fun this is gonna be...Probal James...because the bastard is an idiot and he is always moking me

James:m-m-me

Walter:HA your screwed

darkcomet: hey don't talk buddy your right after him

Henri: Yeah thats right

Darkcomet: and your after him henri

Kuja: ha loseres

Darkcomet: but me and kuja are friends

Kuja: you want me to get your guns?

Darkcomet: yes please

James: RUN EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!

Darkcomet: there is your answer plus a bonus..I would kill James...the Walter..Then Henri...I will see you again next chapter. heh heh hunting time


	14. I don't know my own building

Chapter 14

I don't know my own building

Disclaimer: I do not own silent hill

RARE message from the aurthor: Hello my kind readers it is me Darkcomet, it has come to my attention that some guy named flame rising is thrashing stories, so if he thrashes your story look for others he has reviewed and get him back. and if he thrashes mine I will sick my new assistant on him...SEPHIROTH! so enjoy.

Henri had an impossible choice take the doll or not take the doll

"after many hours of debating weighing in the pros and cons...I have decided to leave the doll there" Henri said walking down the stairs

"hey dickhead" he heard a high pitched voice say

"what did you say asshole?" Henri turned around seeing no one

"down here dipshit" the doll said as henri looked down

"what the hell" Henri said

"actually it is what is your name asshole, oh and my name is Midna" Midna said

"I thought you were some twilight creature?" Henri said

"hey don't make bite your privates off homo" Midna said

"Why you little" Henri reached down to strangle the doll

right when he touched it

Henri got the shabby doll

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!...how do I drop it!" Henri said trying to figure out how to drop the doll

"hahahahahahaahahha...you can't drop me...Your stuck with me" Midna said

"why don't I just put you in the chest in my room?" Henri said

"you don't want to do that...bad things happen." Midna said sidestepping that issue

"well if you are coming with me can you give me advice when I'm stuck?" Henri said

"well why the hell not" Midna said happy

"good so uhh what first" Henri said

"well I want to check out that sick bastard in room 303" Midna said

"oh allright" Henri said walking back up the stairs

(BE) back at the base

"hey kuja...nice new clothes" James said

Kuja know had a blue t-shirt and some blue jeans

"thanks I got tired of people telling me that I was gay because of the way I dress" Kuja said

"well your just in time I think Eileen is trying to dispose of Richards body again" James said

"sweet when she tried to jam it down the garbage disposal was pretty damn funny" Kuja said

(BE) in Eileens room

"allright that damn cop keeps knocking at my door I need to think of something" Eileen said

"I got it!" Eileen exclaimed as she got in her closet and pulled out a...golf bag

"Get in there damn you" Eileen said trying to stuff the body in the bag

"Son of a bitch Richard why can't you fit in a golf bag?" Eileen said

"I have another idea" Eileen said reaching ion her closet

"there perfect" Eileen said she stuffed him in the vacum cleaner bag

"allright now to take out the garbage" Eileen said

(BE) back to Henri and midna

"Allright what is in here that is so immmmmmm oh my god" Henri said as he saw a massive amount of guns

"chill man those are all fakes" Midna said

"Oh damnit" Henri said

Henri walked down the hallway to the empty room with a few posters

"what now midna?" Henri said

"it is so obvious why don't you check behind the posters" Midna said

"wow you are twice as helpful as you were in twilight princess" Henri said

"well no duh it's only because you are asking me questions...that bastard Link never said ANYTHING...everyone else in Hyrule may be psychic but I'm not" Midna said

"well there is a key back here" Henri said

"good what is it to?" Midna asked

"the supers room" Henri said

"well let's go" Midna said

"actually I want to go in the hole back in the other room" Henri said

"wait what hole" Midna said

"This one" Henri said crawling in

after waking up in room 302

"well nobody has ever come through the hole with me so I am finally rid of that bitch" Henri said

"what did you just call me?" Midna said

"oh shit." Henri said

"I said what did you call me?" Midna said popping up on Henri's shoulder

"I said what an itch...yeah" Henri said

"well you better check your letters" Midna said

"nah I don't need to it doesn't matter" Henri said shrugging it off

"well allright but I still...nevermind" Midna said

"Back to the hole!" Henri exclaimed

"WAIT WHOA" Midna screamed as Henri ran twords the hole

(BE) back in the forest

"damn bitch that stole my James...He doesn't love me...I'll kill him!" Maria exclaimed

"So you want to kill james...I might be of some assistance" said an effimenant voice

"Huh?" Maria said

"You know I scratch your back you scratch mine" The voice said

"but there stalking some guy named Henri...He could get to them first" Maria said

"not likely I have a ninja" the girly voice said

poof

the man in the mask from before in the forest appeared

"yes master" The ninja said

"set up an ambush for Henri in the Subway" the voice said

"yes sir" the ninja said as he vanished

"so do we have a deal" the voice said as a hand popped out with exteremely long finger nails

"yeah but you have to cut those" Maria said as she shhok the hand

Darkcomet: ohhhhhh...plot thikens

Sephiroth: I think I'm going to be sick...hey wait I get my own caption...sweet

(BE) back to apartment world

"so what floor is the supers room on?" Midna asked

"first" Henri said

"ok just going to hide in your pocket for a while...you know this place scares me" Midna said hiding in Henri's pocket

Darkcomet: I would like to point out that Midna is a tiny doll and is sitting on Henri's shoulders...anyway

"wussie" Henri said heading to the first floor

"police open up bi..I mean lady" Walter said

"hey buddy there is something I have been meaning to ask you?" Henri said

"and that is" Walter said

"well you see I...well everytime I have been somewhere today...somebody dies" Henri said

"I see...that sucks...wait you mean me...I am the one who kil...er...saw it happen...yeah that's right I'm watching you asshole" Walter said

"I didn't kill anyone some hom named Walter did" Henri said

"wha...I ...you...I mean yeah I acually heard that Walter was a pretty handsome guy" Walter said feigning ignorence

"bull shit" Henri said walking off

"I will kill you Henri and when I do...I will enjoy every second of it" Walter said

END OF CHAPTER

Hey short chapter...and as a bonus the question of the day was answered in the story. It was by Megfallow and it was for Kuja

"Does Kuja still dress like a homo?"

the response is

"hey kuja...nice new clothes" James said

Kuja know had a blue t-shirt and some blue jeans

"thanks I got tired of people telling me that I was gay because of the way I dress" Kuja said

sorry if it seems rushed...because it is but I will type the next one up soon...I hope.


	15. new target victim 21121

Chapter 15

new target victim 21121

Disclaimer: I have no ownership of Silent hill

Henri had just walked off and left Walter to his death threats

"now to the supers room" Henri said to himself as he walked down the stairway leading to the first floor

(BE) back in the forest

"so how do I get James to fall for this trick?" Maria asked

"Oh it's easy just kidnap that girl he is with...and when James comes I will gentley massage his...I mean slam repeatedly with a hammer his private parts" The voice said

"o.k but one thing what is your name?" Maria asked

"I am just someone trying to help you out names are not important" the voice said

"fine I will go back and kidnap that...grrrrrrr...bitch that stole James from me" Maria said

"excelent" the voice said

Darkcomet: wow plot thickens more

Sephiroth: now would be the time for a cheap plug boss

Darkcomet: good idea...I have started A C2 community for Silent Hill Humor fics Check it out today

Sephirothe gives a thumbs up and starts waving banners around

(BE)Back to Henri

"well here we are the supers room" Henri said

"ewww it smells bad in here" Henri said

"eh a note" Henri said

"Dear Frank

I don't know why the hell you were in my apartment when I wasn't there...let alone in my bedroom doing god knows what. But you left that bitch Eileeens key lying next to my bed...why her key isin my room I don't know but you should take it back. Sure I could tell you this in person but I feel writing a letter is much better.

Joseph Schrieber"

"Oh Eileen's key in my room huh? Kinkey" Henri said

"Henri shouldn't you randomly check rooms?" Midna showed up and asked

"no I don't think there is anything for story purposes" Henri said trying to leave

"no I mean for money or something" Midna said

"good Idea no one can see me but the victim I guess...Sure lets ransack" Henri said

(BE) Back at the base

"Hey James where is your girlfriend?" Kuja asked

"who?" James asked

"Ashley I haven't seen her lately" Kuja said

"I have no Idea who you are talking about" James said

"Fine whatever mabey something is on T.V." Kuja said annoyed

"hmmm...I wonder where Ashley is I haven't seen her in a while" James said

"HONEY!" James hollared

"hey a weirdly written note" James said

"if you want to see the bitch again come to the Forest...We mean you James" The note said

"I wonder who this is for...Oh wait I'm James" James said

(BE) back in Apartment world

"well I found $500 a Priceless rolex watch and Jimmy Hoffa...Why he was stuffed in a vacum bag and left in the Basement is beyond me" Henri said walking back to the hole

When he woke up he rolled off of the side of his bed

"huh a key...wait Eileens key...no freaking way...How has she been getting in her apaertment this is her only key...strange" Henri said grabbing the key

"well I guess I better get inside the hole again" Henri said

(BE) back in apartment world

"damnit Woman open up!" Walter said

"fine hang on a second" Eileen said

"thank god" Walter breathed a sigh of relief

"yes officer :GASP: YOU!" Eileen screamed

"yes me WALTER SULLAVIN!" Walter said

Darkcomet: yeah Walter we know who you are

"Shutup this is my time" Walter said

"what do you want?" Eileen said backing back into her apartment

"not much jut to kill you in an excrutiatingly painful way and to damn your soul for all eternity...while I throw a party" Walter said

"I'd like to see you try" eileen said as she pulled a bat and hit Walter in the nuts

"nice try sister I'm already dead I can't feel anything down there...good or bad" Walter said

"that must suck" Eileen said

"it kind of does" Walter said as he punched Eileen dead in the face

"ohhhhhh" Eileen said as she tumbled into the table

"This will teach you to kill MY victims" Walter said as he commenced to beat the shit out of Eileen

"Hey Eileen I believe god told you to do something next time you saw me...OH SHIT!" Henri screamed when he saw Eileens blood on the floor and wally standing in front of Eileen

"kid what the hell!?" Henri said

Wally just stared at Henri

"wait YOU killed all of those people today didn't you?" Henri said pointing his finger

"no" Wally said

"LIAR! " Henri screamed as he charged a Wally

Walter then popped out from around the corner and knocked out Henri with a broom stick

"Dad what the Hell why didn't he pass out?" Wally said

"we ran out of gas so we used the pioneer techiniques" Walter said

"allright well I'm not dragging him back" Wally protested

"oh yes you are" Walter said leaving te room

"asshole" Wally said

(BE) in the forest

"ok so I have looked all over this forest and now I'm on the edge of this cliff...great" James said

"long time no see Jamei poo" Maria said walking up to James

"oh not you again...why don't you go to hell where you belong" James said

"Because I am immortal" Maria said

Darkcomet: FINALLY! things make sense

"just tell me why then" James said

"because this little whore screwed up our relationship" Maria said

"Maria I always hated you...from the moment I met you" James said

"well it doesn't matter now I have you" Maria said

"OH god not a sex game please anything but that" James pleaded

"Uhhh no I'm going to kill you' Maria said

"actually...I am going to kill him" the voice said

"but I thought...oh fine" Maria said as she walked off

"hello James we meet again" the voice said

(BE) ohh suspenseful, back to Henri

"OW MY FREAKING HEAD!" Henri yelled

"quit screaming...bitch" Midna said

"Shut up" Henri said

"oh yeah make me" Midna said

With that Henri walked into the main room and threw Midna in the giant chest

"assssssshhhhooooollllleee" Midna screamed as she fell

"ahhh quiet" Henri said

"well back in the hole" Henri said

"weeee" Henri screamed

THUD

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW M HEAD!" Henri screamed

"what the hell?" Henri said

"the hole...it's sealed up" Henri said

"well what now?" Henri said as he looked over and saw at least 50 notes under his door

"might as well read" Henri said

(BE) back at the base

"wait your going after Henri already?" Kuja said

"yeah...so" Walter said

"well how do you know Eileen isn't still alive?" Kuja said

"she was bleeding alot so I am going to ignore her and assume everthing went as planned" Walter said

"that's stupid" Kuja said

"oh well I'm going to the Hospital" Walter said

"sure just leave me here...alone...bastard" Kuja said as Walter walked away

"hmm that looks bad" Kuja said looking at a moniter

(BE) finallyt the voice is revealed

"James it is I Seymore" Seymore said

"who?" James asked

"not this again" Seymore said

"I have never met you before" James said

"yes you have I took your wife" Seymore said

"I don't remember" James said

"I tried to kill you" Seymore said

"really?" James said

"Yeah" Seymore said

"well whatever where is ashley?" James said

"she's in a safe place... where you wont find her" Seymore said

"is she in that safe over there?" James said

"damnit" Seymore said

"well aren't you smart" James said

"shut UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!" Seymore screamed as he transformed into seymore Flux (the flying machine one on Mt. Gagazet)

"whoo this looks bad" James said

"now time to die" Seymore said in a deeper voice than normal

"hmm wait a plug" James said as he pulled on said plug

"wait nononononononononononononononon...AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Seymore screamed as he plummeted to his doom

"master" Maria screamed as she dove off after him

"well I don't know who that guy was but I feel I know him from somewhere...Oh well" James said

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"hey James that gay looking guy you killed back in Silent Hill is in the forest" Kuja said

"oh Seymore yeah I haven't seen him yet" James said

"well keep looking"Kuja said

"I did kill some other gay looking guy though" James said

"well that's good enough come on back" Kuja said

"okie dokie" James said as he started to walk back to the base

"JAMES HELP I AM STILL IN THE SAFE!" Ashley screamed

"after I help ashley of course" James said

(BE) back in room 302

"DAMN ALL OF THESE LETTERS!" Henri screamed

"I don't think I can ever leave" Henri said as he read a massive pile of letters

Darkcomet:you owe me Henri

a letter pooped out of the pile and into Henri's lap

"the succubus talisman on the back it say in your laundry room idiot" Henri said

so without delay Henri went into his laundry room

he saw a mark on the wall that looked like a face below the face it said insert talisman here with an arrow pointing up

"I guess it goes here" Henri said

when he put it in words popped up

"now put the Plac cards in the right spots" Henri read

he did as instructed

"that was easy" Henri said sweating

"I guess it's time to head back in" Henri said crawling in the hole

END OF CHAPTER

a quick update I wonder is Seymore really dead...probably not. Well please R&R and don't forget questions...Oh and check out the C2 community for silent Hill Humor fics...you need to click Fiction raiting all for some reason though...not sure why.


	16. the new weapon

Chapter 16

The new weapon

Disclaimer I still don't own anything (sob)

We had last left Henri He was just about to go into his brand new hole (ewww)

"Ohhhh mmmm...What the..." Henri started to say as he woke up in a hospital bed

"Ohh yeah Namine...that's how I like it..." Walter said in pleasure

"Uh honey...some weird guy is watching us" Namine said

"Huh where...aw damnit I come here to have sex with my girlfriend and Here this asshole is to ruin the fun...Oh yeah he is the last victim...I guess I could consider myself lucky" Walter said putting his clothes back on to chase Henri

"Up yours asshole" Henri said as he kicked walter in the nuts

"OHHHHHHH WHY THE FFF" Walter screamed in agony as he rolled on the floor

"Thank god I got away from that...whatever...wait He might be the one who beat the shit out of Eileen" Henri said

"well I better get to the next floor...ignoring this floor for now when I should learn the layout to prevent any unexpected surprises" Henri said going to the stairs and up to he top

"Holy shit" Henri said as he looked down the hall, there were at least 200 doors

"might as well start here...OWWW" Henri said as a wheel chair chopblocked him

"what the hell" Henri said

"Hey move it asshole I have places to be" The wheel chair said

"I should drop you where you stand" Henri said pulling out his bat

"please I am immortal" the wheel chair said as it rolled off

"asshole" Henri said as he walked into the door

"What the hell?" Henri said

there was a baby Pyramid head with Richard

"Oh hi Henry when did you get your clothes back?" Richard said

"What the hell aren't you dead? You know that Eileen bitch fried you?" Henri said

"Henry what the Hell are you talking about?" Richard said

"Hey your saying my name with a Y aren't you My name is spelled h-e-n-r-i not with Y...and what the hell is that thing?" Henri said

"daddy Henry" the baby Pryamid screamed

"damnit I knew that night in silent Hill was going to bite me in the ass..." Henri said annoyed

"hey peter wrong Henry..hey what does the I stand for?" Richard asked

"Idio...Intelligent" Henri said

"well I do believe you are in an alternate universe...where evil succubisis make you their bitch" Richard said

"well it is woman after all I would just say stay in Human form and well...wait who is it?" Henri asked

"Cyinthia" Richard said

"OH SWEET JESUS IT IS TERRIBLE!" Henri screamed

"oh and we have very horny priests...I mean HORNY" Richard said

"IT'S LIKE MY CHILDHOOD ALL OVER AGAIN!" Henri screamed and ran out the door and bashed the door until there was nothing left

"may I never step foot in that world again" Henri said

(BE) at the bottom of the cliff

"damn that James is even smarter than before" Seymore said

"...no I still think he is an idiot" Maria said

"well next time it won't be so nice...believe me" Seymore said

"that's right my exetremely hot master" Maria said

"sorry honey I don't swing that way...I just act like I do" seymore said getting up

"so do I" Maria said starting to make out with seymore

suddenly Ron simmons walks up (A.K.A faarroq of WWE's A.P.A)

"...DAMN!" he say then walks off

(BE) back in the base

"so Ashley recount this whole event for me" Kuja said talking to ashley trying to find out information

"I was sitting in the T.V. room when that...that...bitch grabbed me from behind and drug me to that damn safe" Ashley said

"thank you, you have been of great help" Kuja said

"why the hell is Walter the only one who can leave the base to kill Henri...I want a shot" James said

"James shut up...we need to get the new weapons ready...are they ready?" Kuja sasked

"yes they are ready...should I launch them" James said

"yes all five of them...I now need to get the book of revival ready" Kuja said

"why?" James asked

"to revive the dead for us of course" Kuja said

"Kuja!" Sora yelled

"oh hey sora...let me guess you quit?" Kuja said

"yes I do I am not going to get farted on again" Sora said

"fina go home I will call if we need you for anything not in the feild" Kuja said

"thatk you" Sora said walking off

"wussie" Kuja said

(BE) back in the hospital

"uhhh that is door 150 and so far the rooms have been empty..as in nothing" Henri said as he walked in door 151

"Bingo! a key yoink" Henri said as he grabs the key

SLAM

a cage fell around Henri

"oh shit why the hell all of a sudden a cage falls" Henri said

so he sits there trying to find a way out of said cage for about 2 hours

"well there is no way out...I mean the only way out is through the locked door...and there is no way this key unlocks the door" Henri said as he stuck the key in

click

"well I'll be damned it worked...who is the dumbass" Henri said leaving the cage

"Hey I wonder what I am going to do with this key" Henri said as he moved onto the next room

it wouldn't open

"hmm a key would come in handy right now...wait I already have the key" Henri said walking in...after unlocking it of course

"Eileen?" Henri said walking in and seeing eileen laying there in a purple dress the perverted ambulence drivers put her in..she had a bandage over her eye and a cast on..and alot of bruising

"Huh..AHHHH..AHHHHHHHHH" Eileen screamed

"calm down...I said calm down...please cal...SHUT THE HELL UP!" Henri screamed as Eileen said stopping

"wait henri is that you?" Eileen said

"I'm actually surprised that you know who the hell I am" Henri said

"Oh I know who you are" Eileen said very erotically

"what the hell are you talking about?" Henri said

"the disimbodied voice of god told me to have sex with you the next time I saw you" Eileen said

"Uhh as tempting as that would have been a few hours ago you are kind of a turn off right now" Henri said

"asshole" Eileen said

"hey you kind of well look half dead" Henri said

"Well no shit columbo...I was only almost beaten to death by that son of a bitch Walter" Eileen said

"well whatever we should get the hell out of this damned hospial." Henri said

"why the hell not" Eileen said getting up and following Henri out

"holyyy shit" Henri said as he looked back down the hallway

"what the hell is that thing?" Eileen said

"I don't know...hide in that room until I tell you to come out" Henri said

"hmm I think I am screwed" Henri said getting scared

(BE) to Walter

"I sure hope they come through this forest sometime soon...I'm bored" Walter said

"i don't care we are going to try again" a voice said

"we can't he will outsmart us I tell you" another voice said

"wonder whats going on over ther?" Walter said

"I thought you said he wasn't smart enough to beat us" The first voice said

"well I lied...We have to think harder" the second voice said

"We have to kill James" the first voice said

"they seem like nice people" Walter said sitting still

(BE) back in the Hospital

"O.K I don't know who you are..but what are you doing?" Henri said

standing before him was Kefka

"I love waffles...Me love poop...47!" He screamed

"I knew you were freaking strange but what the hell?" Henri said

"I fly with fish tied to my testies" Kefka said

"Right well I am going to kill this thing or it might folow me and that will be hell" Henri said

"I hate...sausage...I AM RICHARD NIXON!" it sreamed

henri beat it to death

"i don't want to see another one of those things" Henri said

(BE) back to the base

"JAMES!" Kuja screamed

"yes" James said

"why the hell is the Kefka bot Mentally Retarded?" Kuja asked

"you told me to put the brain of a robot in...so I did" James said

"I told you to put the SMART one in" Kuja said

"my mistake" James said

"wait you got that one from the morgue because you ran out of parts...so that means a normal brain is in one" Kuja said relieved

"yeah..uh Abbie normal" James said

"James...that may have worked in young frakenstien...but it won't work here" Kuja said

"fine I just stuck a disgrunteled clowns brain in there" James said

"is he still here?" Kuja asked

"yes... Kefka bot 227" James said

"what" Kefka bot 227 said

"what are you going to do to sereve your master?" Kuja said

"SON OF A SUBMARINER!!!...I WILL DESTROY THE WORLD!" Kefka bot 227 screamed as it ran off

"James this is the last time I let you pick the brains" Kuja said

END OF CHAPTER

Darkcomet: Another chapter done...guess what next is chapter 17 the chapter the last story ended on...but it is only half over so be ready for lots more...But wait a shocking development will be made next chapter

Sephiroth: Maybe you should talk about Kefka

Darkcomet: Right me and my friend call Kefka a psychotic clown who is probably disgrunteled..so know you know where Kefka from Final Fantasy VI come from

Sephiroth: He is so not eviler than me

Darkcomet: Of course not..but don't forget to send in your questions...for anyone...see you next chapter.


	17. go time!

Chapter 17

Go time!

disclaimer: I don't own silent Hill

Message from...SEPHIROTH!: Darkcomet is at a wedding, so he left me in charge...so let's go.

We had last left Henri after he had killend Kefka bot god knows what number (# 001)

"O.K. wierd, time to go...Where is Eileen?" Henri said as he looked intothe room he pushed Eileen into

"WHOA!" Henri said looking in there

"Look Henri this mirror makes me look huge" Eileen said

"that is not a mirror man" Henri said

"Oh shit" Eileen said as she ran out of the room

"hmmmmm" Henri hmm'ed as he walked towrds the giant head.

"well since we are alone..." Henri said as he unzipped his pants

"Hey Henri are...you...EWWWW YOU SICK SONOVABITCH!" Eileen screamed

Henri was trying to do something...Naughty to the giant Eileens mouth

"Uhhhh it aint what it looks like" Henri said

"you freakn' liar" Eileen said as she stormed off

"Delusional bitch" Henri said as he walked off...He had spraypainted the Mouth with teeth...The spray paint was in his pants

(BE) over to seymore

"So they are coming?" Maria asked

"yes just keep your thong straight" Seymore said

"there here" Maria screamed

Thousands of Seymores followers showed up

"My followers welcome..."Seymore said

"uhhh...excuse me is this the Gay pride parade?" one of the people asked

"sigh...no it's over there...damn that is the third time that has happened" Seymore said

"lord Seymore we have arrived" another army showed up...from nowhere

"Yes and together we will kill that dumb bitch James sunderland" Seymore said

Walter is still sitting in the forest

"MAN!...they aren't here yet...oh well I guess I'll wait at the base...and to get away from that giant gay pride parade" Walter said walking off

(BE) back inside the base

"Hey ummm Kuja..." James said scared

"yes James?" Kuja said walking up

"well on one of these screen I see...what looks to be a gay pride parade slash army marching twords us...and on the other screen the somewhat Kefka bot I created...is starting a revolt of Kefka bots and is walkiing twords the parade slash army...and now they are shooting each other" James said in one big run on sentance

"so" Kuja said

"I mean It looks like world war three out there" James said

"hey guys...whoa is that a war movie?" Walter asked

"no thats an actual battle between a gay pride parade slash army and an army of our Kefka bots" James said

"sweet" Walter said

"what the hell...is Seymore the leader of the Gay pride parade...do I even need to ask that question?" Kuja said

"Who is that weird looking gay dude there?" James asked

"Oh snap it looks like that gay army I saw Earlier is being reinforced by the actual gay pride parade" Walter said

(BE) after the battle is over

"hey guys...we were just wondering would you like to march in our parade?" one of the paraders asked

"yes we would" the army screamed as they left Seymore and Maria alone

"come back here you damn traders..there not comeing back are they?" Seymore asked

"no" Maria said

"Hey you fruity" a voice came from nowhere

"hmmm" Seymore also hmm'ed

"You are trying to kill James sunderland, yes?" Kefka bot...uh..the smart one said

"yes" Seymore said

"I might be able to help you out" Kefka said

(BE) back in the hospital

"Allright so we need to go back to the ground floor" Henri said

"hey wise ass we have been there for at least three minuets" Eileen said

"oh...uhh hey eileen you wait Here I will bring the elevator down" Henri said walking off

"why don't we just push the button to call the elevator down?" Eileen asked

"because It wont work" Henri said

"how do you know?" Eileen asked again

"Believe me I know" Henri said walking back up the stairs

she pushed the button

"damn I hate it when he's right" Eileen said

(BE) back in the base

"so Kefka bot 227 turned on us?" Kuja asked

"looks that way" Walter said

"this is worse that the time they banned me from buying trix cereal" James said

(BE) flashback

"allright James try it from the top" A camerman said talking to James dressed up as the white rabbit

"silly rabbit trix are for kids!" a kid said to James in the bunny suit

"Damn" James said

"uhh James this is a kids commercial" the camerman said

"sorry" James said

"allright try it again" the director said

"Silly rabbit trix are for kids" the kid said again

"Damnit" James said

"James this is a KIDS commercial" the camerman said

"well just tell the little bastard to give me the damn cereal" James said

"from the top" the guy said taking it as a joke

"damnit I was serious" James thought

"action" the guy screamed

"you silly dumbass bitch in the rabbit suit these are my trix" the kid said

"thats it!" James said tearing off the rabbit head and started to beat up the little kid as thought it were the Jerry springers show

"Yeah bring it bitch!' The kid screamed at James as they drug him and James apart

"Oh you are a dead son of a bitch" James said as he shook himself of security and strangled the kid to death

"HOLY SHIT!" the director said

"WHO WANTS SOME!" James screamed

when about twenty kids rushed at him

"allright bitches"James said pulling out his gun and killing them all

security then tackeld James to the ground

then all of a sudden...Ron Simmons walked up

"...DAMN!" he said and walked off

(BE) present

"yeah they actually aired that commercial" Kuja said

"really" James and Walter said in unison

"yeah they aired the whole fight and everything...and then it said "buy Trix" at the end" Kuja said

"wow then I guess I'm famous" James said

"yeah and wanted for murder" Kuja said

"oh yeah" James said

(BE) back in the hospital

"Finally I hear the elevator coming" Eileen said

CREEK

"that can't be good" Eileen said

CRASH

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Henri screamed as the elevator soared by

"well that might kill him" Eileen said

END OF CHAPTER

Sephiroth: short update folks but we do have a question today..I WILL KILL ALL OF HUMANITY!!!!!!...uhh sorry I do that sometimes

Walter: whoa creepy

Sephiroth: yeah..uhh well the question is from Megfallow. FOOLISH MORTAL I WILL PUNISH YOU!..sorry..anyway the question is "what happened in silent hill that night Henri?"

Henri: Damnit I...Did... hang on

Sephiroth: we are waiting...YOU FOOLISH PUNY PEICE OF SHIT!..damn why can't I control myself

Henri: I did not have sexual intercouse with that nurse demon

Nurse demon: Where the BEEP is my BEEPING child support money

Henri: sephiroth a little help

Sephiroth: sure..DIE FOOLISH MORTAL!

Darkcomet: Hey guys I'm back..you know I'm just not going to ask

Sephiroth: It's only a little blood

Darkcomet: Just wait till next time I'LL update..By the way Henri did it doggy style with the nurse demon

Henri: YOU BASTARD I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE

Darkcomet: screw you


	18. Ghosts, ninjas, and dumb women

Chapter 18

Ghosts,Ninjas,and dumb women

Sephiroth here in charge. Darkcomet he will be back next chapter he felt he needed a break so he left me in charge so please tell me how I do...FOOLISH SHIT HOGS TO THE SLAUGHTER!!! mmhhh sorry.

DISCLAIMER: Darkcomet does not own anything in this fic...especcially mentos.

Henri had climbed to the top of the elevator shaft

"hey did that hurt?" Eileen asked

"No it felt good...OF COURSE IT HURT YOU DUMB BITCH!" Henri expressed his anger twords Eileen

"Jesus you didn't have to take it out on me...why do you smell so bad?" Eileen asked changing the subject

"I HAVE BEEN LOCKED IN MY ROOM LONGER THAN I CAN REMEMBER, I HAVE SEEN AT LEAST FOUR PEOPLE DIE, YOU WERE BEATEN WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE, AND YOU TELL ME I SMELL BAD!!!" Henri exploded

Eileen responded by pulling out a pack of mentos

"huh, appology accepted let's go" Henri said beggining to scale the wall to the other side

"how the hell am I supposed to scale that? I only have one good arm" Eileen said

"Hey lady I probably have a concussion from getting hit in the head with a broom stick...YOUR...broomstick, and I just had a crash in an elevator yet I am doing it" Henri said scaling

"Henri...what the hell does that have to do with me? I only have one arm YOU have TWO...The simple matter is that unless I grow a third one from my ass I ain't getting across" Eileen said

"Well don't worry when I go in this door you will magically teleport in there with me without ever having gone in there yourself" Henri said walking twords the door

"I don't believe..." Eileen said as she teleported to the other room as henri walked through the door

"..you" Eileen finished as she relized henri was right...Again

Sephiroth:right twice in a day looks like a good day for henri

"Let me rape the kitten first" a voice said

"no I want to rape the pankake" another voice said

down a set of stairs was a pair of brainless Kefka bots arguing

Sephiroth: whoops spoke to soon

"Is that not Henri?" One of the asked

"NO! that is Dixi my pet penis" the other one answered actually being serious

"what in the name of holy hell are these things?" Henri asked

"No clue..but they are funny" Eileen responded laughing

"the lady thinks I am sexy" One of them screamed

"I want her doggy style" the other screamed

"to hell with that last statement kick their ass Henri!" eileen screamed

"whatever" Henri said walking up there with his bat and pulvarising the Kefka bots until they were nothing but scrap

"hey douche" a voice said

"huh?" Henri said turning around seeing Squall from FF VIII standing before him

"you took my line asshole" Squall said as he kicked Henri in the nuts and walked off

"OHHHHHHH! that smarts like a sonovabitch" Henri said thinking his problems couldn't get any worse

He was of course...wrong

"ow...Ow...Ow..OWWW...SON..OF...A...BITCH...AHHH!" Henri screamed as he fell down the stairs

100 painful bounces later

"Owwww...I think my luck sucks..ohhhh" Henri moaned at the bottom of the stairs

"that looks like it hurts henri" Eileen said

"bitch...when this is over...after we do it...I am going to kill you" Henri said

"...really?" Eileen said

"yes...and enjoy it" Henri said struggling to his feet

(BE) to the base

"Hey did you know I put in a hotdog machine..It works kind of like a soda machine" James said

"really where is it?" Kuja asked

"well it was in the moniter room...but Walter loved it too much and stuck it in his room...he hasn't been out since we got it" James said

"I love you hot dog"

"what was that?" Kuja asked

"oh that. That was Walter he is consumed by these hotdogs I swear" James said

"Well time to take them away...if we don't he might become an addict to hotdogs." Kuja said walking to Walters room

"Kind of like those girls in the short skirts, you know the ones on the corner" James said

"Uhhh...yeah James just like them" Kuja said walking into Walters room

"O.K Walter put the...hot...dogs...down" Kuja said in shock

"you see there is a code imbedded in thes Hotdogs and it is up to me to find out...see...this one has ketchup...this one has mustard...this one has both...but this one is plain" Walter rambled on

"Walter Damnit there are freaking hotdogs all over the floor...and mayonase all over the walls" Kuja said wiping some mayonase off with his finger

"that isn't mayonase" Walter said looking up from his hotdogs

"Ohhh" Kuja moaned as he vomited all over the floor

"Dude...You just puked all over my floor..and I'll be damned if I clean it up...I am trying to be germ free here" Walter said going back to his work

"He kind of reminds me of that movie a beautiful mind...oh god...What if we are just his mental creations...Well damnit I am not going to be silenced" James screamed

"James you aren't make believe...just incredibly stupid" Kuja said

"thank god..hey look beer" James said

"Yeah go ahead and take some" Walter said not looking up from the hot dogs

"ahhh beer" Kuja said as he began to drink

"that one isn't beer" walter said pointing to Kuja

"EWWW!" Kuja said vomiting on the floor

"DAMNIT KUJA! Quit making my room nasty!" Walter said refocusing on his hot dogs

"Sorry..I THOUGHT VOMITING WAS ALLOWED! BUT OBVIOUSLY ONLY PLAYING WITH MYSELF AND PAINTING THE WALLS WHITE...AND PISSING IN BOTTLES IS ALLOWED!" Kuja said storming off

"Dude what is his problem...I just painted the walls white with paint...and I put root beer in a beer bottle...damn he gets pissed easy." Walter said refocusing on the hotdog

(BE) back to Henri

"wow look at this room" Eileen said

"What room we are on a freaking staircase floating in the damn sky" Henri said

"and on top of that there is so much fog that if there were walls here you can't freaking see them" Henri said

"that's fog I thought it was moving wall paper" EIleen said

"Eileen are you pregnant?" Henri asked

"no. Why?" Eileen said

Henri pushed her down the stairs..and then started to walk down

when he reached the bottom

"what the hell Henri?" Eileen asked

"just keep walking" Henri said

They went in the door nearby

"you know this wall scheme looks familiar" Henri said

"you've seen it before?" Eileen asked

"I feel like I have" Henri said as they walked into the door infront them

"feel anything yet?" Eileen asked

"no..but this place seems to ring a bell" Henri said as he walked into the hallway and started to walk down it

"ewww..what is that disgusting black stuff" Eileen said

"I don't know...wait I recognize this place" Henri finally relizing where he was

"still what is this damn stuff?" Eileen said

"it looks like her hair...but this wasn't here before...and she is dead anyway" Henri said puzzeled

"dead? I think not" A voice crackled

"Oh shit please don't tell me" Henri said as he turned around

"I thought you were freaking dead..Damnit why the hell are you back" Henri said

"I thought You would be happy to see me" the woman said

"Damnit cynthia...why the hell would I be happy to see you? You demeaned my intelligence and tried to give me S.T.D.s" Henri said

"Who is this woman Henri?" Eileen asked

"Henri is this the tramp you are sleeping with?" Cynthia asked

"what did you call me bitch?" Eileen said angry

"Hey Eileen that...Bitch...is undead..so she could probably kill you" Henri said

"well she is on the other side of that barrier..so we are in good shape right?" Eileen said

"yeah good point..HA! you can't reach me nah nah nah nah nah..ha ha haer..oh damn" Henri said as Cythia passed through the turnstile

"uhh Henri do you have any tokens" Eileen said frantically

"uhh..I think..damnit where are they..oh shit..I have them right... Oh thank god here they are" Henri said as he grabbed the coins from his pocket and put them in the thing to put them in

"book it bitch" Henri screamed as he ran down the stairs and Eileen followed

"thank god we escaped that" Eileen said..when no sooner that she said that a ninja grabbed he jumped across the room and pulled out a knife

"move and I waste the bitch" the ninja said

"waste her see if I care...She is mentally retarded anyway" Henri said not caring

"Henri you bastard..save me" Eileen screamed

"oh allright" Henri said as he pulled out his bat

"please I am a ninja...if you hit me with that bat I will be...OWWW!" the ninja screamed as he was hit in the face with a bat

Henri threw it

"DAMNIT!" the ninja screamed

"dad why can't I kill like you" the ninja said

"Uhhh what the hell is wrong with you?" Henri said

the ninja removed his mask

"hey you are that guy from the woods" Henri said

the ninja turned around reveiling a dog looking person

"who are you?" Henri said

"My name is Max...Max...uhhh...Just Max..and don't you froget it" Max said as he ran away

"damnit why do all the weird people come to me." Henri said

"Henri thank you for saving me" Eileen said trying to reach in Henris pants

"After we get out of this hellhole it is kind of a turnoff here" Henri said

"fine then lets hurry" Eileen said walking on

"Oh my god I hate my life" Henri said following her

END OF CHAPTER

Hey all Sephiroth here Darkcomet's personal assistant he gave me a message...He will return next chapter he has put me in charge of all reviews so I guess if I will talk to him so it will be like talking to him only you will be talking to me...oh and any flamers will feel my blade...FOOLISH MORTALS! that one actually made sense. Oh and he told me to not forget questions... anybody ask he, or they will answer. So until next time...ADIOS

NEXT CHAPTER DARKCOMET RETURNS...BE THERE!


	19. back to basics

Chapter 19

back to basics

Disclaimer: Own nothing

"what is taking so long?" Henri said standing in the subway

"I don't know? why are we just sitting here?" Eileen said

"Well, I figured Cynthia would come down here...but it has been about a month...and nobody" Henri said

"I think we should just go and we will see her again" Eileen said

"good point...oh I was only exaggerating...we have been here for only about...oh 5 minuets" Henri said walking off

"seems longer" Eileen said

"sorry I'm lat...hey where did they go?" Cynthia said coming down the stairs

(BE) to the base

"Damn Walter and his hotdogs!" Kuja screamed

"hey I would listen to him...he is predicting things with those dogs" James said

"bullshit!" Kuja said

"how did he know I was wearing a green Jacket?" James asked

"because he saw you wearing it..and you always wear that damn Jacket!" Kuja said

"duck!" Walter said from the other room

"Waler shut the fu" Kuja started to say

BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM

"ouch" Kuja said

"told you" walter said walking in

"Ahh they are all here" Seymore said

"James you will regret not sleeping with me!" Maria screamed

"no, not really" James said

"why?" Maria said annoyed

"well not only would I be in the same place right now...but I would also have the worst case of crabs known to mankind" James said

"I can arrange that!" a voice said

"shit that derranged Kefka bot" Kuja said

"That's right...hey derranged, I'm more psycho...even crazier than sephiroth" Kefka said

"oh shit" James said diving behind a trash can

"oh boy!" Kuja screamed diving for cover

"well see you in hell...oh yeah I'm already dead...oh well" Walter said walking off

One winged angel plays

"allright who says they were crazier than me!" Sephiroth said angry

seymore and Kefka pointed at Maria

"huh?" Maria was almost not able to say that because sephiroth whipped out Masume and sent Maria to hell...again

"Whoo thank god he didn't know it was me" Kefka said

"Oh so it was you!" Sephiroth said turning to Kefka

"Son of a..." Kefka sarted to say before Sephiroth cut him up into...99.9 billion pieces

"Next son of a bitch that says that they are crazier than me gets it worse!" Sephiroth said leaving

"damn...didn't expect it to go this way" Seymore said standing in disbelief

"Give up seymore! the hot dog predicts your downfall!" Walter screamed

"hot dogs? what the hell is he blabbering about?" Seymore said

"to be honest we don't know" Kuja said as james shrugged

"oh well brautworst is better anyway" Seymore said

"what!..." Walter said getting angry

"you guys are killing your selves" Kuja said laughing at seymore

"one less gay dude trying to kill me in the universe" James said

"what you act as though I'm already d" Seymore started to say when, that quick walter stabbed a brand new spoon into Seymores neck

"ah...ah..ah" Seymore chocked

"you cant do it...you cant kill another man" Seymore said

"What the hell are you talking about I killed 4 people today...and almost one demon chick" walt er said

"Oh and walter he isn't a man...I checked" James said

"More info. than I needed today James" Kuja said

"well whatever...goodbye...you...weird transexual" Walter said as Seymore screamed

(BE) back in the subway

"well thatnk god I made a map unbeknownst to everyone,and me, or else I would have been stuck in that train again, right Eileen...Eileen?...Shit" Henri said

after back tracking through the maze, then going through again

"well thank god I had this map eh Eileen?...Eileen...SON OF A BITCH!" Henri said

Back and through again

"Nifty map eh Eileen? Eileen?...DAMNINT!!!" Henri screamed

you guessed it back again through again

"Nifty map Henri...Henri...SON OF A BITCH WHERE DID HE GO!" Eileen said making it to the end of the train and seeing henri staring at a box chained shut

"look at this eileen" Henri said looking at the box

"what...did you find the key?" Eileen asked

"no...there is a box here" Henri said

"well no shit" Eileen said

"but no key" Henri said

"then lets go" Eileen said

"no I want to see what is in the box" Henri said pulling out his gun and shooting the lock off

"never thought to do that" Eileen said

"ohh money" Henri said

"it's dirty" Eileen said

"now how the hell do you know that this is a prostitutes secret stash!" Henri said angry

"no dumbass, covered in dirt, and it's only fifty cents" Eileen said

"Well to you it is Fifty cents...but in actuallity it is a gold coin" Henri said

"well there was a soda machine back there..you wanna get a soda?" Henri said

"why not" Eileen said walking twords the soda machine

at the soda machine

"allright go in money" Henri said putting the money in...but the money came back out

"I said go in" Henri said frustrated..it came back out

"SON OF BITCH GIVE ME MY SODA!" Henri said kicking the machine

brrrrrrr...clang...clang

"ohh free soda" Henri said happily

a soda shot out at lightning speed and hit Henri in the nuts. Henri dropped to his knees crying

"what the hell was that...I think I can't have children know" Henri said moaning

brrrrrr...clang...clang

"what now?" Henri said looking up

it shot a can at lightning speed again and hit henri in the face

"OWWWWWW!!!!!!! YOU DAMN MACHINE ...I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Henri screamed as he beat on the machine for about 5 minuets

"take that damn you" Henri said sitting down tired

"are you done yet?" Eileen asked

"yeah let me just stand up" Henri said as he stood up

"What the hell?" Henri sad

it shot about 20 cans as fast as the first one...straight into Henris balls

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!" Henri screamed in bloody murder

"well thank god it is done" Eileen said

brrrrrrr...clan...clang...clunk...bang...pop

"Oh shit" Henri cried

it shot about one hundred cans in between the laying Henri's tender balls

then as if on que ron simmons shows up

"...d...DAMN!" He said as he left

(BE) back in the base

"ah the hot dog feels strong today" Walter said

"hey...uh walter it is still the same day...but only know we have the corpse of a horribly mutilated Seymore...the Peices of Kefka bot...and Maria's STD filled body" Kuja said

"oh well, it isn't my month to clean" Walter said walking off

"Of course not, it never is" Kuja said

"Kuja when can we kill Henri?" James asked

"hopefully soon..." But don't get your hopes up

brrrrrrr...clan...clang...clunk...bang...pop

"What the..." Kuja started to say

100 hotdogs flew at Kuja

"WHOA!" James said

"Kuja!...you have been chosen!" Walter said happily

"I hate all of you...especially you James" Kuja said standing up

"why me?" James said hurt

"BECAUSE YOU BOTHE GET HOT GIRL FRIENDS AND I DONT GET SHIT!" Kuja said

"oh well Kuja you are in luck" Walter said

"Walter if you bring up the hotdogs again I am goint to jam them down you damn throat and up your ass!' Kuja said

"no...I mean I got a letter my cousin is coming I think you would like her" Walter said

"really who is it?" Kuja said

"oh someone famous...trust me" Walter said walking in the other room

"is he telling me the truth?...James" Kuja said

"screw you Kuja I'm going to go have sex with ashley!" James ran off crying

"yeah for thirty seconds you loser...Come on at least a minute damn" Kuja said

(BE) back in the subway a half an hour after the soda machine

"I'm going back to my apartment" Henri said

"well then go through the subway trains" Eileen said

after going through the train

"thank god I have this map eh ? Eileen? SON OF A SHIT!" Henri screamed

after going through the subway again

"good map eh Eileen? EILEEN! MOTHER FU..." Henri started to scream

"no need to yell Henri I am right here" Eileen said

"oh thank god...hey how about this map eh?" Henri said poining at his map

"actually I think it sucks" Eileen said

"...BEEP you Eileen!' Henri said walking off

"oh calm down you big baby" Eileen said following him.

(BE) in room 302 after crawling through the hole

"ohh that feels good...getting up from bed" Henri said waking up

he walked into his living room

"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL!" Henri said in shock

END OF CHAPTER

Hey kiddes look who's back your old buddy Darkcomet hey Sephiroth what has happened since I've been gone

Sephiroth: well you got a review from Megfallow...and this one from some asshole...oh and Mr. Kennedy, oh yeah and they holy order of aquatic paper-airplane space pirates worship you...ohand there is a sequel to cute baby Pyramid head fun called Journey to silent hill.. Read it (gives thumbs up)

wow that alot...wait the holy order of what?

Sephiroth: no clue what that was about...oh just like to say for anyone cussing Darkcomet out right now for wirting me out of charcter...you only know me when I am trying take over the world..not when I am planning the plan so this is normal.

Pyramid head: The holy order of aquatic paper-airplane space pirates... They apparently worship you

Thanks Pyramid head, now keep cleaning those asshole Walter, James, and Kuja blew up silent hill and now you have to clean it up... Well until next time whenever that may be (god knows these days)...whoops hang on don't forget to ask questions please they are bugging the hell outta me...those maniacs wont stop until they get asked something. Until next time


	20. she told you so

Chapter 20

She told you so

Disclaimer: Do I really have to write this again...I still have no ownership...I don't own Jack-shit...wait...I don't own that either! I hate you copyright laws

"Holy Shit...again" Henri said

"Hey I tried to tell you...don't put me in the chest or some screwed up shit happens...but no don't listen to the talking cat...I sure didn't know this was going to happen so just ignore me" Midna said very pissed off

"I thought you said..." Henri started to say

"Henri...I freaking hate you" Midna said

"but what the hell did you do!?" Henri still said in shock

"well...I was the cause the babies coming out of the chest" Midna said pointing at the chest

Henri looks over and sees about 5 babies doing the Cha Cha slide on his chest

"yeah why the hell I caused that I have no idea" Midna said

"What about the rest of the apartment" Henri said

"Well...you know how dead people get pissed a people who are alive...because they are alive" Midna said

"yeah...where are you going with this?" Henri asked

"well they are dead do you get that?" Midna asked

"yeah...so" Henri said

"you are alive correct?" Midna asked

"yeah...so" Henri said

"do you not get this?" Midna asked

"yeah...so" Henri said

"dipshit" Midna said

"yeah...hey wait a minuet I get it!" Henri said

"thank you jesus!" Midna said happily

"you called me a dipshit!...that is why I through you in the chest...because you pick on me" Henri said hurt

"they want to kill you because they are alive!" Midna yelled

"oh that was my second guess" Henri said smiling

"you need to have a first guess idiot" Midna said

"wait you're alive why don't they want to kill you?" Henri asked

"One reason being is that I am a floating cat with a hand for hair, Number two being everbody already wants to kill me...especially the author" Midna said

Darkcomet: I will have vengance for you giving stupid info. I wil kill...uhhhh...why are you listing to what I'm saying...get on with it!

"see an asshole" Midna said

"yeah I get what you mean" Henri said

"well can I come with you again?" Midna asked

"hell no...but I normally get mail can you just get that?" Henri said

"oh you mean that giant pile of shit that was under your door...why not" Midna said sighing

"Thank you now to wash this damn coin" Henri said walking to his sink

"this could be mildly entertaining" Midna chuckled

"hmm the air is getting heavy" Henri thought

"ow...my head hurts" Henri thought as he got closer to the sink

"SON OF A BITCH THAT HURTS!" Henri continued to think

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Henri thought some more

Henri then fell over

he then saw the cause of his problems...his shoes

"owww why the hell have you turned on me?" Henri asked

he was answered with an abrupt kick to the face

"mmmmm...that smarts" Henri winced

more kicks

"ow...ow...ow...son...of...a...bi...tch" Henri said as the shoes kicked him

"allright enough" Midna said as she used the hand to pull him out

"thank you...could you drop me in the laundry room?" Henri said

"sure" Midna said smirking

she hurled Henri to the door head first

"thanks bitch" Henri said under his breath

"what was that?" Midna asked

"nothing" Henri said as he crawled into the door and then the hole

(BE) at the base

"this whole hot dog thing has been blown way out of porportion" Kuja said

"your just mad the hot dog machine made you it's bitch" James said laughing

"James don't make me go all nuts on your ass!" Kuja said

"I thought it was funny" James said laughing

"shut up you half minute" Kuja said

"Well my cousin will be here soon, as in uhhhh...well any second now" Walter said appearing in the room

cricket cricket

"yep any second now" Walter said

Cricket cricket

"I said any second...damn where is she?" Walter said

"what is she the chick from fantastic Four who invisible?" Kuja said

"or maybe she doesn't exist" James said

"well with all of this hotdog crap going on that would not surprise me" Kuja said

"ohh I think I hear her" Walter said

"ohhh climactic moment" James said

"James don't say that or else the scene will chan..." Kuja started to say

(BE) back to the subway

"Hey henri what happened to you?" Eileen asked

"what the hell do you care" Henri said angry

"are you going back to the soda machine?" Eileen asked

"Yes" Henri said walking out

"can I come?" Eileen asked

"no sut up and stay here" Henri said leaving

"mother Fu" Eileen started to say

SLAM the door slammed

after going through that damned train maze

"so we meet again machine" Henri said

he threw both coins into the slot and flew at the machine and hit the button

Clunk

"finally soda...a key...The machine has won...waity a second...waity...he he funny word...murder scene key who do I know that was murdered" Henri thought

"I hate you henri" cynthia said as she died (unofficially)

"I'm on FIRE!" Jasper screamed as he died

"NOOOOOO!" Andrew screamed as he died

"I HATE YOU EILEEN!" Richard screamed as he died

"damn I don't know anyone who was murdered...oh well" Henri shrugged and walked off

he eventually reached Eileen

"well the only way to go is down" Henri said

"I can't climb the ladder only one arm" Eileen said flashing her cast

"oh yeah...hey Eileen are you pregnant?" Henri asked

"no why?" Eileen answered

"oh just because..." Henri started to say as he pushed her in the hole

"well time to go" Henri said climbing down the ladder

(BE) back at the base

"damn" James said in shock

"yep" Walter said smiling

"you mean?" Kuja asked

"yeah...and beleive me Kuja I told her about you on the way here...she is into you" Walter said

"but I thought that she was taken?" Kuja said

"oh what by that one guy...I forgot his name...but no he ceased to exist" Walter said

"it is a pleasure to meet you Kuja" a meek voice said

"weren't you with...that blonde haired guy?" Kuja asked

"oh him...well no we just made out in that pond...then off camera we had mad...crazy monkey sex...but no...besides I forgot who he even was...oh where are my manners...my name is Yuna" Yuna said

"Walter you have a SUMMONER as a cousin?" James asked

"why the hell do you think I'm still around...she won't send me thank god" Walter said

"well I do need to send that Seymore bastard...you know he comes back after death unless sent" Yuna said

"you meanhe is still...shit" Kuja said

"well let me show you around cuz" Walter said

"Thank god that is for me" Kuja said

"yeah so...Well see you in about a minuet" James said

"allright" Kuja said imagining...heh heh...things

(BE) back to the subway

"well we need to go to where that bitch died before" Henri said to a passed out Eileen

"what bitch" a fimiliar bitch voice said

"damn I can't say nothing without something bad happining" Henri said

"time for me to KICK YOUR ASS!" Cynthia said transforming

"whooo boy" HEnri said preparing for the fight

END OF CHAPTER

Allright before you ask the reason I didn't say Tidus's name is because then nefver do on FFX so ha ha funny. No questions...allright fine here is one from me

"Walter why the hell do you target Henry in Silent hill 4 instead of Eileen, you need to kill her first right?"

Walter: Skip Eileen straight to Henri that seems like a very good idea...thanks Darkcomet

Sephiroth: I think you screwed up

Darkcomet: Yeah I suck at this...someone...hell a random person ask me a question...any question it will be answered...but Megfallow you deserve a break...so come on prove to me you are there! If you do it you can kick james in the nuts.


	21. All hail the Hot dogs

Chapter 21

All hail the hotdogs

Disclaimer:...Silent hill is not owned by me

"I seriously hate my life" Henri said

"I thought you love me Henri?" Cynthia said

"I always hated you...actually I hate you the most" Henri said

"well back at you asshole" Cynthia said

"Note to self...think about these things before I say them" Henri said

"time to die you dumb shit!" Cynthia screamed as she charged at Henri

"Think...what hurts ghosts...not pipes..bats..guns...I'm completly screwed...WAIT!" Henri thought

"fool! your dead" Cynthia screamed as she charged at Henri

FLASH

"how...I'm undead stuff should not work" Cynthia said

"hmmm now to...there" Henri said

He had stabbed Cynthia into the ground with the sword of Obidence...you know the one he pulled out of the ghost back in building world

"why?" Cynthia said

"this can be answered with one state ment (clears throat) your a bitch"Heni said

"Henri this is not the last you have seen of me!" Cynthia screamed

"I'll bet, this time it is" Henri said as he drug Eileen with him down the hallway

(BE) back in the base

James and Yuna are dancing in DDR to Eat it by Weird Al (maybe it's modded I don't know)

"DAMN! they can bust a move" Walter said

"I could stomp them both...I play heavy" Kuja said

"I have not been in this story for so many chapters it is rediculous" Ashley said watching

"shut up we are watching" Walter said

"uhhhh...I swear you guys are such assholes" Ashley said storming off

"You know I could watch this all day" Kuja said

(they are now dancing to Unsung: by Helmet)

"the hot dog is strong with them" Walter said

"when are the hot dogs going to pass?" Kuja asked

"never...now shut up...I want to watch James get owned by Yuna...oh and the hot dogs keep reffering to you as bitch" Walter said

"I know how to get him to attack Henri and get off this hot dog stuff" Kuja thought walking off

10 minets later

"hey walter you'd better come in here" Kuja hollared from another room

"yes what..." Walter started to say

"I don't know" Kuja said trying to hide a smile

"WHO SMASHED MY HOT DOG MACHINE!" Walter screamed

"oh that I think Henri did it hew came in here all like "hot dogs suck Hambergers rule" I don't know man I think he is nuts" Kuja said

"why are you holding a bat oh I heard the smashing so I came in here to kill Henri but alas he was gone" Kuja said

"I am going to kill the infedel that is Enri" Walter said

"don't you mean Henri" Kuja asked

"yeah why not" Walter said walking off

"Works every time" Kuja said laughing

(BE) back to the subway

"Eileen wake up" a voice said

"god...is that you?" Eileen asked

"yes...wait...no" the voice said

"h...h...Henri" Eileen said as she woke up

"finally I have been giving you C.P.R. for about 20 minuets" HEnri said

"I hurt my head not drowned" Eileen said

"who said it was for you...I need a treaat every now and again" Henri

"why did you say you were god?" Eileen asked

"I said I was not god...there is a difference" Henri said sweating

"but I thought you said..." eileen said

"look we can accuse each other of claiming to be god and taking naked pictures of each other while the other is passed out all day" Henri said annoyed

"I haven't taken naked picutres of you" Eileen said

"this is a compromise I understand I have to give up something too" Henri said

"where are we any way" Eileen asked

"oh we are on the subway platform...yeah dragging you is not fun" Henri said

"well you will be rewarded later...trust me" Eileen winked

"this better be worth it" Henri said

"oh it will...it will" Eileen said as they walked off

(BE) room 302

"damn where do these letters come from...oh this read from mommy" Midna said

"read it read it" the demons of the room chanted

"allright...dear schmoopie How have you been have you been taking naked pictures again? You remember how much legal trouble you got into last time. Maggie the girl you knocked up in Silent hill is fine...Why did you sleep with a living Manniquen? You son is now growing his fourth leg on the top half... he made a new friend who says he has seen you before...named Peter the Pyramid head. Well please keep out of trouble or I will have to get out the wall buffer...you don't want that do you? Hugs and Kisses Mommy" Midna read out loud

(Cheap plug for Journy to Silent hill by Megfallow , WOOT!)

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!" everyone in room 302 laughed out loud

(BE) back in the subway

"so this is where that bitch was killed" Eileen said

"yeah but in there...damn it's locked" Henri said

"Hey what is this?" Eileen asked

"it looks like a subway train handle...Eileen why would we need a subway train handle in a subway staition?"

Eileen stares at him blankly

"allright back down stairs" Henri said

After going down the escalator still filled with the dead dudes form the wall

"Allright I will just put this here and AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Henri screamed as the train took off and crashed into the wall

"Hey there is a pathway back here!"Eileen hollared

"well then let's go through it" Henri said as they walked down the path way

"hey another sword" Henri said as they both went through a door

Behind them Walter Followed...what will happen next time on Silent hill this room sucks

END OF CHAPTER

Question time Megfallow felt the urge to ask this to Walter

Walter: allright shoot

Darkcomet: well I don't read them anymore Midna does

Midna: Do you know that Eileen is taking credit for Killing Richard...and ratted you out to the police

Walter:She WHAT!

Eileen: That is so not true

Walter: YOU BITCH! (begins to choke Eileen)

Darkcomet: I think Eileen DID kill Richard

Sephiroth: and the police were already after Walter

Darkcomet: Oh well see you next chapter everyone


	22. IIII'm back

Chapter 22

I-I-I'm b-b-back

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything

walter was tailing our Heroes (losers whatever) through a tunnel in the subway

"Hey Eileen I was just thinking, if what I think is going to happen happens, then we might be screwed to ways to tuesday" Henri said as they entered a door that leads to one of those foggy spiral staircases

"What do you mean?" she asked

"well this guy died earlier, and he knew alot of fighting moves...probably from playing to much dead or alive...for more than one reason, or maybe watching to much Naruto hell I don't know" Henri said

"what happened to him?" she asked

"he burned to death...somehow, I think he was a drug addict of some sort" Henri said

"what makes you say that" Eileen said

"well...he kept studdering" Henri said

"so everybody studders...that does not mean they are druggies" Eileen said

"well yeah but...there was something about him..." Henri said as they entered the door at the bottom

"oh what the hell are we doing in the cemetary?" Henri said looking around

"hey there is a tombstone here that says here lies Walter sullavin, child killer" Eileen said

"hey a torch!" Henri said as he picked up a torch and lit it

"big deal" Eileen said as she walked off

"I'll just light this..there" Henri

entering the room behind them

"My tombstone is marked again! Who keeps doing this!" Walter said as he kicked his tombstone

"Hey! Eileen a well!" Henri said

"So what" Eileen said

"oh yeah you haven't been traviling with me very long have you...There is something in that well Garuntee it" Henri said

"fine prove me wrong asshole" Eileen said

"lets see I see something...but when I reach to grab it, it wont let me for a reason...says it's to dark but I see it, But I cant grab it like some barrier is in the way" Henri said

"can we keep going?" Eileen said

"hang on...bitch. Wait what if I used the torch...there I got it...HOY SHIT!" Henri screamed

"what is it" Eileen said starteled

"A Freaking arm...oh...it's fake thank god" Henri said

"why did you scare me?" Eileen asked

Slam

"jesus Henri I know there is a bucket in there you just slammed now stop it!' Eileen said angry

"I didn't..." Henri started to say

clap clap clap

"congratulations..you have made it this far...but no farther" Walter said standing in the doorway

"who are you?" Henri said

"oh that's right we have never been properly introduced...my name is Walter Sullavin...the guy that killed the people, beat her, and hit you in the face with a broom...akward meating eh?" Walter said

"are you that guy that is buried in the other room?" Eileen asked

"yeah...but you should not know that...someone marked my tombstone, again...but enough of the chit chat time to finish...uh that sacraments thing I'm doing" Walter said

"you mean the 21 sacrements"Eileen said

"that's it, thank you" Walter said slapping his head

"hey don't you have to kill her first!" Henri said pointing at Eileen

"well I do suppose I do have to have some order...for this real ritual I'm doing" walter said sweating

"damn they are catching on to the fake ritual" Walter thought

"Henri what are you trying to do?" Eileen asked angry

"Trying to save my ass...while he is finishing you off I will run to safety" Henri said

"you are a dick" Eileen said

"well theoreticaly I could kill both of you that would work"Walter said pulling out a pipe and a gun

"yeah I suppose but..." Henri started to say

"but what?" Walter asked

"come here and I will tell you" Henri said

"allright fine" walter said walking twords Henri

Henri then struck him across the face with his torch and while Walter was on the ground he lit him on fire

"run lets go!" Henri screamed as Eileen and him ran out of the current wooded area they were in

"damn they ran...oh well I'll get them soon" Walter stood while he was on fie

"hmmm something smells good...oh" Walter said turning around and seeing he was on fire

(BE) back in the base

"so Yuna what is it like being Walters cousin...good girl, Psycho killer, It just doesn't add up" Kuja said

"well...I'm not as good as I let on...like you know the hole summoners journey?" Yuna asked

"yeah" Kuja said

"well I was planning on getting there and killing everybody...and then taking control of Sin...but no...that one guy got involved and screwed everyhting up" Yuna said

"what is that guys name?" Kuja asked

"I don't know...and I really don't care" Yuna said

"hey guys something weird is is going on in here" James came out looking pale

"what the hell is it" Kuja said annoyed

"well...it is the hot dog machine" James said running back to hotdog machine

"what?" Kuja looked at Yuna and they walked into the other room

there was purple smoke coming out of the hot dog machine

"what is going on?" Kuja asked

"I walked in here and there was a figure standing in the smoke...I think it is Gannon" James said

"no Gannons a drunk he only tries to kill Link...just because you saw a figure come out of smoke...does not mean it is Gannon" Kuja said

"What about Dr. Wily?" James asked

"no. he seems like the type that would brodcast to the world what his palns and weaknesses are...so not him" Kuja said

"what about sin?" James asked

"no, Sin would not fit in there" Yuna said

"what about Dr. Robotnick?" JAmes asked

"now I can see why eggman would hide in a hotdog machine but there is no reason for him to be in ours" Kuja said

"what about..." James started to say

"we are going to be here for awhile" Kuja sighed

(BE) back in the forest

"O.K. Eileen I need to look around the forest so I need you to stay here at the wish house" Henri said

"what Wish house?" Eileen asked

"It's right...whoa" Henri said

the wish house was burned to the ground

"uhh...ok then just stay in this general area" Henri said leaving

"aren't you going to..." Eileen started to say

slam

"look around here first" Eileen looked around

"allright I need to..." Henri started to say

"damn flies!" Walter screamed as he shot the flies with needles

"I need to sneak" Henri said

"who's there?" Walter said

"holy shit!" Henri thought

Walter had a chainsaw

"oh well, DIE YOU DAMN FLIES!" Walter screamed

Henri continued to sneak and eventually made it out of the room

"Solid Snake eat your heart out" Henri said going through the door

"yes leave Henri there is only one way back to the wish house...dipshit" Walter said as he chuckled

"Now where...to" Henri started to say

"l-l-l-l-l-l-long time n-n-n-n-no see Henri" Said an on fire Jasper

"damn first Cynthia now you" Henri said annoyed

"h-h-h-h-hey why are you n-n-n-not happy to see me?" Jasper asked

"because I hate you...I hate everybody" Henri said

"Why d-d-d-did you let me burn in the w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-wish house?" Jasper asked

"hey dude are you floating?" Henri said

"d-d-d-don't change th-t-th subject" Jasper said

"well I told you I hate everybody so, I guess that is why" Henri said

"r-r-r-regardless i am going to kill y-y-y-you using mar---mar--m-m- Karate!" Jasper said as he floated to the ground

"shit looks like another fight" Henri said

(BE) back in the base

"how about Sephiroth?" James asked

"no we would really have to piss him off for him to come here" Kuja said

"what about Liquid snake?" James asked

"no Liquid is annoying but what would he want with us?" Kuja said

"how about...Dracula?" James asked

"now why the hell would Dracula be hiding in a hot dog machine?" Kuaj asked

"Could it be Mary?" James asked in horror

"now I see why she would hide in our base...to kill you...but in the hot dog machine...no the guy in the hotdog machine would be one very screwed up individual" Kuja said

"then who could it be?" James asked

END OF CHAPTER

Who was in the hotdog machine? Tell me who you think it is

Sephiroth: first person who says it is me dies, got that!

Tomorrow is going to suck as I have to take ACT exams...two days full, wish me luck. Don't forget to review.


	23. Studder death

Chapter 23

studder death

disclaimer: I still don't own Silent hill...well the franchise anyway

"are we ever going to fight?" Henri asked siting on the ground

"as soon as Darkcomet gets off his lazy ass and makes us" Jasper dropped his studder and has a deep British accent

"he has been playing WAY too much dead rising, and Oblivion He actually has beaten all of the guilds and still has not typed anything here" Henri said frustrated

"Yeah he even beat all of dead Rising, what a freaking bum!" Jasper said

"What the hell did you just call me?!" I say

"Uhhh...b-b-b-b-back to the story right?" Jasper dropped his accent and gained a studder

"that's better" I say as I leave to type the story

"Now you will die!" Henri said

"n-n-n-not if I-I-I can help it" Jasper said as he charged

"Ahhh!" Henri screamed as he charged

"aha! Got you now!" Max screamed as he jumped from a tree

"oh shit" Henri said as Max came closer

"w-w-wai..." Jasper was cut off as he ran into max

Henri took this opertunity to stab Jasper into the ground

"NOOOOOOOOO-O-OOOO!" Jasper screamed

"damn! we will meet again Henri" Max said as he jumped away into the tree

"O.k. Ghosts I get but why a ninja?" Henri asked

"just roll with it" I say

"fine" Henri said walking off to search for wells

(BE) in the base

James is still trying to figure out who the mysterious figure is

"...what about that chick from Final fantasy X...Yuna" James said

"over here didpshit" Yuna said as she waved

"hmmm...how are you over there...when the hotdog machine...AHH HAA!" James screamed

"oh sweet Jesus, why me" Kuja said slapping his head

"if you are here and the hotdog machine is broken...then YOU came out of there" James said pointing his finger at Yuna

"I have been standing here the whole damn time" Yuna said frustrated

"maybe...but don't leave town" James said glaring at Yuna

"how do you put up with him?" Yuna asked

"Alchohol...and lots of it" Kuja said

"well load me up" Yuna said

"AHHH HAA!" James screamed

Kuja looked to see his finger pointing at Ashley

"what is it James?" Ashley asked

"you came out of the hotdog machine didn't you!" James accused Ashley

"James...you really are a dumbass. Oh hey kuja opening the alchohol cellar let me in I need some" Ashley said walking twords Kuja

"Don't worry everybody, Detective James is on the case!" James struck a dramatic pose

"greeeaaat!" Kuja said sarcastically and rolling his eyes as he went into the cellar

"hmm not all I need is a sherlock Holmes hat, a pipe, some suspects, and a corpse" James said rubbing his chin

"HEEEEEYYYY KIDS!" Pee wee herman said as he walked in from nowhere

"hey Peewee, would you like to take place in an investigation?" James asked

"sure" He said happily

"good, now turn around" James said rubbing his hands together

"right here?" Peewee asked

"perfect" James said as he pulled out his gun

James began to shoot Peewee herman to death

"...why...James...why?" Peewee said as he died

"well I have the corpse...but why did I need that again...whoops that was for Halloween...which is a long way away, guess I'm ahead of myself" James said as he happily walked off

"wait James!" I scream

"yes" James says

"remember that offer I made the reviewers to let them kick you in the nuts?" I ask

"yeah" James says

"well could you (whisper whisper)" I whisper

"sure" James says as he skips off

"heh heh perfect" I say evily

Sephiroth: what did you do

Darkcomet: (whisper Whisper)

Sephiroth: Sweet

(BE) in a basement somewhere

"hahahahahahahaha I am a crazy flamer" says a person

"hello" James said

"who are you?" says the person

"are you Turtleguru?" James asks

"yes" He say

"good" James says as he kicks him in the nuts

"OWWWW!" he screams in pain

"well Darkcomet never said ANY reviewer would get the prize...so I get it, now to find things on my checklist" James says as he leaves

"hey are you that guys mom?" James says

"yes" says an 80 year old woman

"oh O.K." James as he pushes her down he stairs

"that was for me...I was bored" James said as he left

(BE) back in room 302

"Midna did he get mail?" a Demon asks

"yes he did do you want to hear it?" Midna asks

"YEAH!" the demons scream in unison

"O.K.

Dear Henri

This is your old prison bunkee Butch. How have you been? I have been great, I miss the days where I would tie you up against the bunk and...well the rest is history. But I have to ask you a question, did you ever get those pills to...well you know...raise the flag...I mean I at fist thought I had seen a scared turtle but I found out I was wrong. By the way what ever happened to that guy you actually managed to beat up, is he still around? I don't remember who he was but I remember he was busted for jaywalking oh well. I remember what you got busted for, Trying to steal a man thong from J C Penneys Man that is damn funny. Oh and don't forget, you'll always be my little butt plug.

With lots of love

Butch" Midna struggled to read as she was laughing so hard

"Henri was butch's Bitch HAHAHAHAAH!" The demons laughed

(BE) back in the forest

Henri had gotten all of the parts, nearly got chopped up by Walter, met Wally, grabbed a key, and is now back at the wish house

"Henri what took you so long?" Eileen asked

"long story" Henri said bleeding from the mouth, eye, and pinky fingure

"well there is a torso in a wheel chair up ahead,do you know what to do with it?" Eileen asked

"hmmmm" Henri thought

(BE) in a Dark room

"where are we" Gannon said looking around

"I don't know" Dr. Wily said

"shut it" James said walking up with a cheap Sherlock Holmes hat and smoking a bubble pipe

"who are you?" Dr. Eggman asked

"I am Sunderland...James Sunderland" James said as he winked

"oh god not you again" Liquid said moaning

"what is wrong" Bowser asked

"I was made by the same company as him...in fact...I am his brother" Liquid said

Dramatic music

"wow really!?" Dr. wily said in amazement

"No he just claims everyone is his brother... hell he is stupider that me" James said rolling his eyes

Liquid looks at Gannon

"hello...Brother" Liquid said

Dramatic music

"not even close" Gannon said

"Brother!" Liquid said looking at Dr. Wily

Dramatic music

"stop that!" James screamed as he pushed a button that electrocuted Liquid

"now then, I have brought up the most heinous villans of all time to.." James started to say

"Oh shit did I miss the interview?" Shadow the hedgehog said busting in

"no shadow you are to report upstairs to to writer" James said

"oh O.K. but this room is all black and yet I can only see everyone else clearly, but none of the rooms features" Shadow said

"your point being?" James asked

"where are the Damn stairs!" Shadow screamed

"oh over there" James said pointing into the darkness

"Hello...Brother!" Liquid said

Dramatic music

"what the hell is his problem?" Shadow asked

"I don't know" James said as he pushed the button to shock Liquid again and shadow walked off

"Now as I was saying...Gannon, Dr. Wily, Dr. eggman, Sigma, Sin.." James was saying

"ROOOAAAARRR!" sin roared

"Yes I know but it is only fair. as I was saying Bass, Liquid.."

"brother" Liquid said

Dramatic music

Liquid is shocked again

"Ansem, Andross, Jason Vorhese, and John Cena" James said

"why am I here I am a good guy...and why do I not have a shock braclet?" John asked

"because Darkcomet hates you the most and if you start causing problems he told me to shoot you" James said

"oh" John replied

"anyway, I am here to find out who came out of the hotdog machine so the questoning begins, next chapter!" James said

END OF CHAPTER

OH BABY I AM BACK! I have one announcement to make...well two announcements. One is a serious one, to all of the people who flame me. I don't care that you flame me but don't tell me to commit suicide, my family has suffered enough of that, as in my cousin has attempted it...twice, so don't cross the line. Announcement two SCHOOLS OUT! I offically started summer vacation at Exactly at 3:05 P.M. Central Time, So chapters should come faster. Hell maybe even another tommorow. Until then R&R.


	24. Really random stuff

Chapter 24

really random stuff

Disclaimer: For god's sake I own nothing

"I am very drunk" Kuja slured

"mmmm so am I" Ashley said

"you haven't even drank anything yet" Kuja said

"well at least I'm not like Yuna" Ashley said pointing to Yuna

"Shut up dick!" Yuna screamed at a blond guy that only she can see

"My name is Tidus you Damn devil Woman!" The imaginary Tidus screamed

"Well nameless stranger what do you think of this, Come here Kuja" Yuna said as she grabbed who she thought was Kuja

There was some hot make out action going on

"how did you like that Kuja?" yuna said

"well from my viewpoint that was really good...but you might want to ask Ashley that question" Kuja said pointing to Ashley

"you know if things don't work out with me and James..." Ashley started to say then winked

"...Kuja come here" Yuna said grabbing Kuja and making out with him much to the dismay of Imaginary Tidus

when there was a break in the action Kuja looked up

"hey you blonde dude" Kuja said

Imaginary Tidus looked around

"yeah you the one looking around...I can see you man, please stop staring at me...you killing the mood" Kuja said resuming what he was doing before

Imaginary tidus then ran off crying

Darkcomet: Shit my punching bag just ran off

Shadow: Want me to go get it?

Darkcomet: would you please, hey shoot him if you have to just get him back here...why are you listening to me again, read the story.

(BE) back in the woods

"that's it I give up what the hell am I supposed to do with these damned body parts!" Henri said frustrated

"why don't you try putting them on the body" Eileen said

"hmm... good idea" Henri said as he went to work

about 5 minuets later

"there I think I am done" Henri said

"oh nice going dipshit, now when I walk I will walk on my head!" a voice screamed

"who said that?" Eileen asked

"me the screwed up robot, no not Manniquen, robot. Why did you puy my left...no this is a better question, are you on drugs? Because that is the only way you could have screwed this up so bad" the robot said from his head, which is on his right leg

"O.K. then how about this?" Henri said trying again

"yep...you are on drugs" the robot said

"O.K. how about...this" Henri said as he pushed the wheelchair the robot was sitting in off of the remnents of the wish house

"you really suck...suck big ones" the robot said lying there with his head jammed up his ass

"well only thing left to do is to go down" Henri said

"well I can't climb down so we need to find another way" Eileen said

"Eileen are you pregnant?" Henri asked again

"no wh...wait I'm not falling for that again, yes Henri I am pregnant" Eileen said

"oh O.K." Henri said as he pushed her down the hole

"you suuuuuuuuuuuuk!" Eileen screamed as she fell

"oh hey a ladder...I was just about to jump, I wonder if...oh well" Henri said as he climbed down

(BE) in the dark room

"so...mr Gannon, where were you 3 hours ago?" James asked

"I was sitting at home drinking some Spiked Milk" Gannon answered

"and during that time were you in a hotdog machine?" James asked

"What? I just told you I was at home" Gannon said

"a likely story...but can you back it up?"James said

"yeah...that is where you abducted me, off of my couch" Gannon said annoyed

"well you answer me this...why would a pig hide in a hotdog machine?" James asked

" What?! what does that have to do with anything!?" Gannon said confused

"everything, and the answer is...because he is a pig" James said

"whatever, are we done here?" asked Gannon hopefully

"no...now we are, dismissed" James said

"dumbass" Gannon said getting up and walking to the door as Dr. wily walked in

"good luck" gannon said

(BE) back in the forest

"Henri why would you push me in a hole if I was pregnant!?" Eileen said pissed

"because I don't want two of you walking around...one is enough" Henri said

"well I guess the only way through is that door" Eileen said

"well" Henri says as he kicks the door in

"you know we might get sued if we keep tearing shit up" Eileen said

"like they know who I am" Henri said walking in the door

"hmmm the prison heh heh heh, ime to gangster style on their ass" Walter said stalking them

(BE) back in room 302

"guess what my demon bitches more mail from mommy!" Midna said with enthusiasm

"yeah!" they demons screamed

" dear boogey bottom

Have you been well? You have not wrote back in a while. Have you married that girl next door like mommy said, she seemed like your type off woman...you know loose, easy. Oh and if manage to go to bed with her don't forget the things mommy taught you. (Midna stops a moment to gag). Some big guy named Butch came by a while ago...he said he was off to prison again some prison in the middle off some forest, Silent hill I think. He said to tell you he still loves you...whatever that means. I hope you write me soon, bye bye honey snot.

Love mommy" Midna finished reading laughing and about to vomit at the same time

"butch is back in prison already word travels fast outside these walls" one demon said

"no kidding" Midna said going over to the fridge

"damn he doesn't have anything to eat" Mida said neglecting the news

Darkcomet: uh-oh Butch is in Jail in a Forest in silent hill, no this isn't obvious foreshadowings.

(BE) into the staircase

"that is why I think I would make a good wife for you Henri" Eileen said

"how did we even get on this subject?" Henri asked

"Oh well we were on the staircase then we got into what you thought was an elevator...it then got stuck and we have been in here for nearly 20 minuets" Eileen said

"god save me" Henri said rolling his eyes

"do you want to do it?" eileen asked

"no...especially now with all of the blackish looking pulsating stuff on your back...I mean what the hell is that?" Henri asked

"I don't know but it doesn't hurt like it looks like it should...but you know that's life"Eileen said

"yeah well if this is your version of life, then it sucks but hey who gives a shit eh." Henri said trying to be positive

"ahh I think we have landed" EIleen said as they both walked out

"Oh damn not this place again" Henri said before him sat the Water prison

"great Henri who did you piss off here?" Eileen asked

"no one...at least I don't think" Henri said forgetting about Andrew

"Well shall we?" Eileen asked

"yes" a voice behind them answered

" who the..oh shit" Henri said

"oh were you asking him? sorry" Walter said pulling out two pistols

"ehh oh" Henri said

"what are we going to do" Eileen said

"well we could always you know...RUN AWAY!!" Henri said as he ran for the door with Eileen behind him

"damn i didn't expect them to do that" Walter said standing there

END OF CHAPTER

Lame update I know..but still an update none the less, Yes shadow the hedgehog has joined me in the writers booth so give him a nice round of applause, need I remind you he has guns. So that brings the count up to three Sepiroth, Shadow, and myself. Well I will see you all next chapter


	25. Let's get out of Prison

Chapter 25

Let's get out of Prison

Disclaimer: I still do not own the franchises in this story

James had interrogated all of the people and shot John Cena (yeah)

"well it is apparent to me that none of you were in the hotdog machine so you are free to go" James said

"thank god you relised this. can we leave?" Gannon asked

"yes you are free to go" James said

"where are we any way" Dr. Wily asked

"JAMES WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE GARAGE!" Kuja yelled from the other room

"INTERROGATING" James yelled back

"OH! O.K." Kuja said back

"so just go through here...then get the hell out of here" James said

they started to leave

"not you liquid" James said

"brother?" Liquid said

"HEY KUJA I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA!" James said with a smirk

20 minuets later

"Allright that is a great plan" Kuja said

"the scary part is that james came up with it" Walter said

"yes the plan begins with him" James said pointing to liquid

"how did you come up with this?" Kuja asked

"it just came to me'' James said

"allright come on...you wierd British guy" Walter said as he began to drag Liquid with him

"James this Idea is genius...I mean to ambush them, so how will it work?" Kuja asked James

"actually pretty simple, Liquid will wait for them in the prison. If they get past him I will be in building world, if he passes me...Kuja you will get him in the apartments" James said

"James I gotta hand it to you...this plan is a stroke of brilliance, but are you sure you came up with it?" Kuja asked

"what is so hard to believe?" James asked

"well you are kind of...well you know" Kuja said

"I don't have time to answer your questions...blues clues is on, and i'll be damned if I miss the first clue...now if you will excuse me" James said walking off

"yeah...still stupid but gets good ideas sometimes" Kuja said

(BE) in the prison

"whew...I almost shit myself" Eileen said

"I did shit myself" Henri panted

"eww" Eileen said

"hey, you should stay here...this place is pretty damn freaky" Henri said

"is it safe?" Eileen asked

Henri looked around

"...uhh...sure" Henri said nervously

"fine I belive you" Eileen said happily

"good" Henri wiped sweat from his fore head

He went into the first floor of cells

"hmm nothing seems to have change..." Henri started to say

"who is that?" a voice said

"this could be Andrew...I need to be ready for him, and that Damned ninja" Henri thought

"hello" the voice called again

"GOT YOU!" Henri screamed as he just about hit something but missed

"Henri?" the voice asked

"no...there is no way in hell" Henri said

"it has been a long time my little doughnut" the voice said

"B-B-Butch" Henri said

"yep back behind bars" Butch said

Butch was a very large man very muscular but bald, had a tiny head

"how did you get in here?" Henri asked

"Oh I just raped my dog so I got put back in" Butch said

Darkcomet: Butch is clearly a confused person

"WHAT WAS THAT BITCH!" Butch screamed

Darkcomet: nothing

"that's what I thought" Butch said

"I didn't mean what did you do. I meant how did you get in HERE?" Henri asked

"I don't know I was just put inn here...can yu get me out?" Butch asked

"let me try...nope nothing somehow the door is rusted shut and the lock is broken...like so many other doors in this world" Henri said

"well can you find a way to get me out?" Butch asked nervously

"I'll look but I don't know" Henri said

"all that matters to me is that you try" Butch reached out and touched Henri's face

"I will alway love you" Butch said

"yeah...I'll go look now" Henri said leaving

"O.K. Awkward gay moment back there" Henri thought

"hey Henri what did you find?" Eileen asked when he came back

"NOTHING ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING!" Henri said defensivley

"Ooooooooooooo kkkkkkaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy" Eileen said weirdly

"what is up with you?" Henri asked

"what do you mean we are here to find my mommy right?" Eileen asked

"yeah...wait no what te hell are you talking about?" Henri asked

"momma I missed you" Eileen said to the wall

"I have to tell you I am going to be defiled by this nice man who lives next door" Eileen said to no one

"uhhh o.k. I'm just going to, well you know explore" Henri said inching twords the door leading up

"I love my mommy" Eileen said

when Henri was outside and began to take the short way to the third floor by that I mean the ladders

"I don't know what the hell is up with her but all I know is that shit has gotten screwy...and not good Screwy bad Screwy" Henri thought

"Allright you need to find this" Walter said

"why brother?" the voice asked

"because I said so now start looking, or else" Walter said as he walked off

"he had better find that sword before Henri does" Walter said to himself

"I better beat whoever that was before he takes that sword" Henri said worried

(BE) in the room

"MAIL TIME" Midna yelled as the demons came around

"allright this letter is from Henri's father

Hey dipshit what is this I hear about you not writing your mother don't make me come down there and whop you one. I will pull out the peanut butter...because I will

Hugs and Kisses love Daddy" Midna read out loud

"Henri is going to get knocked out by daddy" the demons laughed

(BE) back in the prison

Henri had snuck past the mysterious stranger several time looking for the bloody bed

"finally found it, allright 1...2...3 JUMP!" He said as he jumped into the hole

He fell into the basement

"now to go into the torture chamber" Henri said heading to said chamber

"why is Andrews shirt floating in the nasty water?" Henri asked

"oh that means" Henri thoguth as he vomited into the water

"there is a shirtless Andrew in here" Henri finished the thought and Vomitted again

He grabbed the shirt went back to where Eileen was

"Henri where have you been" Eileen asked

"where have you been?" Henri said

"what do you mean I have been here the whole time" Eileen said

"I mean mentaly" Henri said

"what do you mean" Eileen asked

"Something about mommy, and Defliling it was weird man" Henri said

"well are we done here?" Eileen asked

"no, but I did find a shirt I don't know what to do with" Henri said

"simple go through, your imaginary hole and go to your bathroom" Eileen said sarcastically

"good idea" Henri said as he went through the hole

"now where the hell did he go now?" Eileen said

(BE) in room302

"yawwwwwwn, that feels good" Henri said as he sat up

"hmm...who are you" he asked a shadow thing in his closet

"fgsdsjvucsdvghidsvsdzhvdszv" it said

"what?" Henri asked dumbfounded

"fgsdsjvucsdvghidsvsdzhvdszv" it said again

"he said get the hell away from me douche" Midna said

"Midna...what th hell has happened here?" Henri asked

"oh your room just went to Hell in a hand basket" Midna said

"well I need to go to my bathroom" Henri said getting up

"well go on I don't want you shitting yourself" Midna said

"I don't...nevermind"Henri said going to the bethroom

"oh yeah...the blood" Henri said dipping the shirt in

"hey words" Henri said

"that fat asshole Next time I see him I am going to stab a sword in his ass and out his mouth...too bad the sword is made of wood" the shirts words said

"why did someone write this on the back of a shirt...why not on paper?"

Henri then went back through the hole and back into the prison looked around on the second floor and found the sword of Obedience

"thank god now I need to find Andrew. But I have been everywhere, where is he. I have the feeling he has the key, wierd feeling" Henri said as he walked back to Eileen

"Hey can we leave now" Eileen asked

"yeah let's go" Henri said as went down the stairs that led...well down

(BE) in the basement of the prison

"Brother he got the sword" Liquid said

"damnit...O.K. Plan B you wait in here and when he comes through kill him" Walter said

"O.K. Brother" Liquid said

"Stop calling me your damn brother" walter said as he left the prison

(BE) back to Henri

"Booo I am a scary ghost" a voice said

"oh no" Henri said

looming before him was the ghost of Andrew DeSalvo

"uhhh...do you have a plan Henri?" Eileen asked

"I hope so" Henri said closing his eyes and awaiting the first strike

END OF CHAPTER

Hey everybody updated again WOW! and I really just don't have anything Witty to say this time. So until Next Time R&R


	26. Mommy?

Chapter 26

Mommy?

Disclaimer:SH is not owned by me

"Hello" Henri asked

"yes" andrew said

"aren't you going to hit me?" Henri asked

"no...I don't have a reason" Andrew said

"Really?" Henri asked

"Hell no I want you dead asshole" Andrew said

"shit gotta stop asking really" Henri said

"die live dude!" Andrew yelled

"MOMMY!" Eileen screamed as she dove at Andrew hugging him and then they both rolled down the rampway till the bottom

when Henri reached them

"Damn Eileen thanks...But why did you scream mommy?" Henri asked

"Shut your damn freaking horny mouth" Eileen yelled

"what is wrong with you" Henri said

"I hate you" Eileen said as she went through the door

"heh heh poor Henri going to be a virgin forever" Andrew said

"Hey for your information I knocked a girl up"Henri said

"and you are proud of that?" Andrew asked

Not wanting to hear anymore Henri stabbed Andrew with a sword of obediance

"OWWW" Andrew screamed in pain

"ohhh a key...yoink" Henri said as he grabbed the key

"asshole" Andrew muttered as Henri left

"Ha HA HAHAHAAHAHAAAHA" Liquid laughed as Henri walked in

"oh sweet Jesus I have to put up with YOU now!" Henri said in disgust

"what is wrong...Brother" Liquid said

DRAMATIC MUSIC

"What do you have Eileen tied up with?" Henri asked

"I don't have her tied up she just sat down and put her arms behind her back" Liquid said

"you know that actually makes sense" Henri said

"whatever brother...now we must play a game, WITH OUR LIVES AT STAKE!" Liquid screamed as he reached into his pants poket

Henri covered his face

Liquid then removed his shirt and revealed...Candy land

"what the hell?" Henri asked

"Sit and let me dominate you" Liquid said as he sat the game down

"this day just keeps getting weirder and weirder" Henri said

(about 20 minuets later)

"NOOOOOOOOO I AM DEFEATED!" Liquid screamed as he fell to the ground and pulled out a Hulk Hogan talking doll

"uhhhhhhh O.K." Henri said walking over to Eileen

"brother" the Hulk hogan dall said

"Brother" Liquid said

and they went on like that for a long time

"What is going on Henri?" Eileen asked

"ummm from what I have gathered...you are a crazy rambling bitch" Henri said

"oh" eileen said looking at the floor

"come on lets leave this dank place" Henri said they then walked past the giant water wheel

"AHA! GOT YOU NOW HENRI!" Max screamed as he jumped at Henri...but missed completley and fell into the wheel

"did you hear something Eileen?" Henri asked

"no" Eileen said

they then went in the door leading further into the basement

"Oh sweet Jesus" Henri said in disbelief

" Well you killed Liquid so I guess I have to congratulate you" said Walter

"Walter no there..." Henri said

"are you really that afraid of me?" Walter asked

Henri shook his head

"then what? "Walter asked

Henri pointed behind Walter

"It can't...be...oh" Walter said as he let out a sigh

when he wasn't looking Henri and Eileen snuck past him

walter was stairing at a hoard of evil Olsen twins

"Damn they must have escaped from the genetics lad" Walter said as he pulled out his gun

"You can't kill pure evil Walter" All of the Twins said

"true...but uhhh...bye" Walter said as he ran out the way Henri and Eileen went and locked the door

"thank Jesus that is over with...note to self come back and kill all of them"Walter said as he followed Henri and Eileen

"wait I don't need to follow them...heh heh heh" Walter chuckled evily

(BE) back to Henri

they were already at the bottom of another staircase

"hmm" Henri thought out loud

"Are you thinking of the ghost THIS time" Eileen asked

"yes but I just can't remember...:GASP: NO!" Henri said remebering as they walked into what look kind of like a parking lot

"what is it Henri who died here?" Eileen asked

"we just need to get out of here" Henri said grabbing Eileen as they walked across the parking lot twords the neares door

Above them someone was watching

"there she is...that Bitch" a voice said

"My REVENGE IS NIGH!" the voice screamed as the person walked twords the edge...but tripped and fell from the top of the building

CRASH

"oh shit" Henri said worried

"what is going on?" Eileen said also worried

"Ow... Why is there a car RIGHT THERE!" Richard screamed as he stood up from the wreckage where he crashed

"RICHARD!" Eileen screamed happily as she went to hug him

"uhh eileen do you not remember...Oh I don't know...RICHARDS DEATH!" Henri yelled

"he isn't dead he is standing. Dead people float" Eileen said

"no the boy is quite accurate I am dead, and you killed me!" Richard said full of hate

"richard why do you have a pipe in your hand?" Eileen asked scared

"heh heh, Oh this well that is to bash your brains in" Richard said holding up the pipe

"but why?" Eileen asked

"because I am dead and you killed me you stupid bitch...what the hell is wrong with you?" Richard asked

"nothing that isn't the matter with you mother" Eileen said also full of hate

"shit there is about to be an epic showdown and I don't have a sword of obedience" Henri said reaching into his Infinite pocket (even though he didn't have one of those in the previous game)

"Henri what is wrong with this crazy bitch?" Richard asked

"I don't know she does this sometimes" Henri answered

"oh uhh O.K" Richard said looking back at Eileen

Eileen pulled out a pipe of her own

"now where the hell did she get that?" Henri said feeling his pocket

"that bitch robbed me" Henri said

"now are you ready to die mommy?" Eileen asked

"yeah I'm just going to go..." Henri said as he ran off to hide

"what is it with your mommy?" Richard asked

"I killed my father, My brother, My Boyfriend (she paused to shoot Henri a glance) and my Gerbil...you are all that is left...Mother" Eileen said raising her pipe

"Bring it Bitch" richard said as he drew his pipe

the parried and slashed (with pipes?) until richard is the one who fell

"my deed is done...almost" Eileen said as she walked into a nearby door

Henri ran after her

Richard then sat up

"you may have won this round but I will be back" Richard said sitting up

In the building

"WOW! That was AMAZING Eileen!" Henri screamed

"Don't call me that" Eileen said

"Call you what? your name?" Henri asked

"that is not my name" Eileen said

"fine you psychotic bitch what is it?" Henri asked

"My name is Angela...and I am here to KILL JAMES SUNDERLAND!"

END OF CHAPTER

Is it really Angela...did she find a way to return...or is Eileen just freaking out again. Find out in the next chapter of SILENT HILL 2 THIS TOWN SUCKS! P.S. Don't forget to send in questions nobody has asked me any lately so do not forget.


	27. the new face of evil

Chapter 27

the new face of evil

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything...I don't think anyway

"WOW! That was AMAZING Eileen!" Henri screamed

"Don't call me that" Eileen said

"Call you what? your name?" Henri asked

"that is not my name" Eileen said

"fine you psychotic bitch what is it?" Henri asked

"My name is Angela...and I am here to KILL JAMES SUNDERLAND!"

"what the hell are you talking about Eilee..." Henri started to say

"who!" Eileen shot him a glance

"Angela COUGH Eileen COUGH" Henri said

"I am hereto kill my old true love James Sunderland" Angela said

"James Sunderland? Why does that name seem familiar?" Henri thought

"he sicked that sick bastard Walter on me" Angela said

"Walter that seems familiar too" Henri thought

"I need to find him and kill him so I can finally rest" Angela said

"Fine whatever bitch...but please just, wait here, please" Henri said climbing down the ladder

(BE) out in the forest

Seymore is laying there battle damaged after his previous ass pounding by Sephiroth

"It seems that you could use my help" a voice came from nowhere

"who...who are you?" Seymore said looking around

"You want domination...I can grant you that. but only If you help me and pledge your very life...no better yet your soul to ME" the voice said

"can I still kill people for fun?" Seymore asked

"of course" the voice said

"let me see who you are" Seymore said

"you must agree to my terms first. You may only serve me, If you cross me I will erase you, You will follow my orders no matter what they may be. Do you accept?" The voice asked

"...I...accept" Seymore said

"excellent" the voice said stepping out of the shadows

"W-W-What is happening here!?" Seymore said shocked

"It will all make sense soon" The figure turned around and walked away all that could be seen was a black cape flowing with the wind

"This makes things interesting" Seymore got up to follow the figure

(BE) in the boss room of Building world

"James are you sure you want to fight now?" Kuja asked

"Of course I have been training in my downtime" James said

"Well what is your strategy?" Kuja asked

"It is simple...Kill them" James said

"hmmm...Simple easy to remember. I love it" Kuja said

"Hssssssss...James they are coming your way...well not now but they are here. Are you in position?" Walter asked over the radio

"yeah. where are you?" James asked

"Wally ran off and got lost I am trying to find him...James, Good luck. Over and out" walter disconnected

(BE) Back to Henri in an alleyway

"I need to find a clue or something" Henri said

"but I want to see mommy" Henri heard a voice down the alleyway

"damnit you have to stop running off...plus I already told you mommy was dead" he heard a familiar voice said

when he reached the end of the alley he saw Walter talking to Wally

""what is this?" Henri said hiding so he could hear

Unfortunately for him Walter had seen him

"So you want to see your mommy huh?" Walter asked motoning his eyes twords Henris position

"yeah" Wally said not getting it

"You know your MOTHER!" Walter said pointing to where Henri was

"I don't get it why are you pointing?" Wally asked

"I am just asking so that this is clear" Walter said walking over to the place where Henri was hiding and frantingly making hand signs

"You know what dad. screw this I am going back to the base" Wally said storming off

"Jeeze thank god I DON'T know him, and he most definatley is NOT my SON" Walter said walking off

"hmm I wonder who those guys were" Henri thought when he came out of hiding

(BE) in an evil tower

"MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!" The evil voice from before laughed manically

"so that is your plan. It is pure genius" seymore said smirking

"New Master" Max said running in

"what is it you bumbiling idiot?" The voice asked

"Well I have to ask...Your plan, Why do we have to start with Silent hill?" Max asked

"because of reasons beyond my control" The voice said

(BE) flash back

A dart board hangs from the wall with post it notes on it a dart then flies and hits one

"silen hill eh?" The voice said

(BE) present

"Yeah no control" The voice said

"But didn't James Walter and Kuja blow up Silent Hill?" Seymore asked

"not all of it...just the major buildings" the voice said

"But they did not blow up the hospital" Max said confused

"Their friend lives in the hospital" The voice said

"it makes sense now" Seymore said

"yes it will now we wait and gather more followers" the voice said

"how many do we have" Seymore asked

"many More than imagenable...from all over tha galaxy...well country" the voice said

"but what about Henri?" Max asked

"he is an unwanted factor...kill him" The voice said

"I am on it sir..."

"no...call HIM in" The voice interjected

"Sir?" Max said confused

"do it" the voice said

"yes sir" Max said as he left

(BE) back to Henri

"I am so freaking lost" Henri said walking around in the pet store

"hmm a note" Henri said

"Today there was a shootout in the pet store. The owner had a magnum and the assalint had, what seemed to be an unnecissary machinegun. The owner was killed and so were all of the animals. Motive is still being questioned" Henri read the paper out loud

Machine gun fire started to be heard

"Why the hell is that happening?" Henri thought

He followed the noise and saw another paper

"If you want a way out of here find me... I am in the clock room. Be there soon, or else." Henri read out loud

so Henri traveled to the clock room

"I was starting to wonder when you would get here" a person said hiding in shadows

"show your self" Henri demanded

"Fine" the person said and stepped out

It was Zero from Megaman

"Who the hell are you and why are you wearing that rediculous Halloween costume?" Henri asked

"I am Zero...and this is armor dippy does it look like fabric no. But you should be asking why do I have...her" Zero pointed up to the Ceiling passed out hanging there was Eileen

"allright what give I thought you were going to help me get out of here?" Henri said

"I never said you would be getting out of here alive" Zero said as he drew his Z-saber

"WHOA!...I am going to freaking die" Henri said

"time...is up" Zero said

"GRAND LETHAL!!" A voice screamed

"what!" Zero said in shoc as a red blast hit him and kille him

"Zidane?" Henri asked

"yeah it's me" Zidane said

"I thought you were dead?" Henri said confused

"no but you left me here...but I nursed myself so it is O.K." Zidane said

"would you go up there and get that lady hanging from the roof" Henri asked

"sure" Zidane said running off

"so why did Walter send you?"Henri asked

"Walter?...I only serve my lord and master" Zero said defiant

"Who is it" Henri asked

"the taker of Souls, The destroyer of worlds, and soon to be king of all things...he is..." with that Zero died

"damnit. Huh?" Henri said as he spotted a key that said clock on it

Henri looked at the clock

"whatever hell I am about to endure starts there" Henri said standing up

BRRR CLANG CLANG

Henri was promptly shot in the nuts by a soda machine that appeared out of nowhere

"OWWWW What the hell was that for?" Henri moaned

END OF CHAPTER

I justed to end the chapter properly. now Who is this evil voice? and what does he want with Silent Hill. And what is his ultamite plan. I believe at the rate I am going there are only 4 more chapters left. Not set in stone or anything but That is the rough estimate...maybe 5 I don't know.

Sephiroth: Yes...hey Darkcomet Uhh might want to make your other announcement

Shadow: yeah how could you forget that

Right. Sense this story is about to end I would like two people from this story to stay and work with me. One of them is Kuja he is automatically in but there is one position left. So vote now Will it be, James, Walter,or Henri. Just let me know in a review or message. Until next time


	28. the End approaches

Chapter 28

The end approaches

Disclaimer: I don't own any thing said in this fic sadly.

It took Henri a few moments to recover from the can shot to the nust

"Darkcomet I hate you fast then slow updates" Henri said

Darkcomet: hey you just lost my vote for the associate poll

"DAMN!" Henri yelled as he walked twords the clock door

"Henri I don't feel good something is in my head" Eileen moaned

"Henri what is she talking about?" Zidane asked

"SHUT UP MUTANT!" Eileen screamed as she smaked him in the face and knocking him out

"I'm sorry Henri" Eileen said

"that's allright I didn't really like him anyway" Henri said

"oh Ok" Eileen stammerd as they went in the door

"hello Henri" a voice said

"what the hell is it now?" Henri said frustrated

"My name is James...James Sunderland" James said standing in the room where the one truth is supposed to be

"Dude Darkcomet has really screwed this plotline up." Henri said

"yes well That doesn't matter because you are going to die here" James said drawing his plank

"Bring it" Henri pulled out his baseball bat

"that thing it is no match for my plank...OF DOOM!" James said

Henri hit James across the face with the bat

"HA that didn't hurt!" James laughed

"let me guess you are using mirrors...so I have to find the real you?" Henri smirked

"no...what the hell do I look that smart. No I am just way to drunk and stupid to feel pain...I have drinking the heaviest alchohol I can find for three hours straight...it did wonders for my nervous system" James said

"Well...shit" Henri said as he stricken in the head by the plank

(BE) in a dark castle

"my plan is coming to fruition...soon I will strike The individual Walter Sullavin...he seems to be the leader" the mysterious voice said

"Sir with all due respect...why Walter...I happen to know who the real of The silent Hill universe is." Seymore said

"oh you do, do you. Then who?" The voice asked

"Pyramid head" Seymore said

"Ah yes we will pay a visit to Pyramid head...now" The voice fade and Seymore did too

(BE) back to Henri getting his ass kicked

"Damn what am I going to do?" Henri asked himself frustrated

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Henri heard Eileen

"What the hell?" James said

"you bastard that is my line" Henri said

"JAMES!!!!" Eileen yelled

"Oh shit here we go again" Henri said

"who in the hell are you...and why the hell should I care...Did you come out of the hotdog machine?" James asked

"Don't you recognise me James?" Eileen asked

"No...But I do meet alot of Prostitutes...that IS what you do right?" James asked

"I can't believe you don't recognize me James" Eileen said

"really Eileen is this necissary?" Henri asked

"MY NAME IS NOT EILEEN IT IS ANGELA!" Eileen screamed

"bullshit Angela is dead...Walter shot her...I saw it" James said

"Do I look that different James?" Eileen asked

"Hell yeah...you've gotten better looking...lost the testicles...and had plastic surgery" James said

"I was beautiful on the inside!" Eileen screamed

"BULL shit!" James said

"well it doesn't matter now...Your dead" Eileen said as she kicked James in the nuts

"O.K. The alchohol does not protect that area" James said as he knelt over

"not so fast you bitch" Richard said appearing in the room

"I will have revenge" Richard said drawing his pipe

Him and Eileen/Angela began to sword fight

"Hey you" James said

"I'm not done with you yet" James said

"bring it" Henri said running at James

"hey how did you spit into three?" James said freaking out

"hmmm...Oh I see" Hneir said as he walked up to James and James started stepping backwards

"since I can't hurt you"..." Henri said

"huh? what are you..." James said as he was pushed

"I will just push you in this hole that is here for no reason" Henri said

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" James screamed as he fell

"the Alchohol kicked in...man that guy was a Dumbass" Henri said

When he turned around he saw Richard on the ground writhing in pain

"Hey Eileen or Angela let's get out of here before he gets back up" Henri said pointing at a door

"O.K. Henri" Eileen said

they walked out of the room

(back in Silent hill brook have hospital)

"Oh my head... I really have to stop drinking" Pyramid head started walking to his apartment on the third floor

"Peter I'm home...hmm must be hanging out with Megfallow...Oh well." Pyramid said sitting down in his favorite Lay-Z-Monster

"My spear arobics class makes no sense" Pyramid head said not paying attention to a presence in the shadows

"I mean why do I have to stab myself in the head with the spear...that makes no damn sense. I hate being the Mayor of Silent hill...It is what gets me into shit like the spear classes" Pyramid head rambled on

"you there Triangle head thing" the voice said

"great now I am hearing voices...Why did I run for Mayor HERE of all places" Pyramid head rambled

"No I am really here" the voice said

"and I have come to take you hostage" It added

"real great now I am a prisoner" Pyramid head said

"now come with us" The voice said

"could you please abduct me in my chair I don't want to get up" Pyramid head asked

"Why the hell not" the voice said

(BE) back to henri and Eileen

"Well this seems to be the bottom" Henri said

"must be near the end" Eileen said

"thank you god" Henri said opening the door

they were in a gray version of Henri's apartment full of candles he came out of the bathroom

"where are we Henri?" Eileen asked

"I would say in the past but you know...at this point...I just don't give a damn" Henri said walking in

"Hey look a note" Henri said

"once upon a time...there was this little brat and...he did something important...ah screw this Walter told me to write this to confuse Henri I don't know why though...I think this whole thing is bullshit...hmm I might as well say something while I am writing. My studies of the hotdog machine explosion are...that I was just seeing shit in the hotdog explosion. Oh I have a great Idea...I should go tell Kuja." Henri read out loud

"Henri" a voice moaned

"darth vader?" Henri replied

"No you dumbass...If you had read my damned red pieces of paper you would know who I am!" Said a black blob from the ceiling

"Hey is that you Joseph?" Eileen asked

"eileen did you not ever notice I was tunneling through the wall to you?" Joseph asked

"yeah...I just ignored you though...I even poured cement so you couldn't go any farther" Eileen said

"you bitch! If I had hands I would strangle you!" Joseph screamed

"but you don't so HA!" Eileen said

"You know I feel how you do Joseph...but she might serve a purpose later on...you know what I mean" Henri said as he winked

"(sigh) whatever I don't even remember why I came here...probably with some usefull information...but now I just don't care" Joseph said going back into the ceiling

"hey the lights aren't on" Henri said flipping a switch

T.Vs rolled out showing every room they had been in today plus a few more rooms

Plus a map of the whole apartment

and a dart board with Henri face on it

"what in gods name is this place" Henri said in shock

"Hey Walter glad you are here I need to ask you...something" Kuja said walking in looking for Walter

"Oh shit" Kuja said

"that's right I remember you...I saw you walking around the building where I met Zidane!" Henri said

"ummm...gottago!" Kuja said fast and ran out the door

"How did he get through it is locked?" Henri said

"Maybe he locked it from the other side" Eileen said

"hmmm...what is this?" Henri said looking down the hallway

"what?" Eileen asked

"a pick axe and a crack in the wall...I have an idea" Henri said

He hit Eileen with the blunt side of the pick axe

"OWWW WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!" Eileen screamed in pain

"Well I thought if I hit you hard enough...you would get an idea" Henri said

"asshole...well how did you get out of here before?" Eileen asked

"Great idea Eileen" Henri said as he ran into the laundry room

"hmm I wonder.." Eileen said walking to the door

"No way! You have got to be Kidding me!" Eileen said laughing

(BE) back in room 302

"I need to go to the end of the hallway" Henri said going to said point in the apartment

He started to hit the wall with the pickaxe

"damn Henri you were angrier then I thought" Midna said

"shut up you stupid bitch" Henri said hitting the wall

"Hey why is the languege so harsh?" Midna sassed

"Just shut up" Henri said as he broke through

"Whoa!" Midna said

Henri crawled through

"Look a body" Henri said

"that would explain the smell the last few hours" Midna said

"hey he has a key...it...it has room 302 printed on it...Do you know what this means!" Henri said

"no...not really you looney" Midna said

"I am getting out!" Henri ran twords the door

"What about Eileen?" Midna asked

"Screw her I can finally leave tis Apartment and never come back!" Henri said excited

"can I have it?" Midna asked

"what the hell do I care take it!" Henri said

"cool" Midna said happy

Henri walked to his door

"Now to stick this key in the door" Henri stuck the key in the door

he twisted it

he tried to turn the doorknob...nothing

"What..no...NO!!!" Henri screamed

"what?" Midna asked

"SON OF A BITCH!!! I AM GOING TO KILL THIS DAMN DOOR! YOU DIRTY BASTARD!!" Henri kicked it and hurt his foot

"OWWWW!" Henri jumped around holding his foo

"calm down just try it again" Midna said

"fine" Henri said

He put the key in

turned it back

twisted the knob

pulled..and the door did not open

"No..why me damn you...why do you torture me so" Henri said still holding the doorknob as he fell twords the door

the door opened

"wait...you mean to tell me this key locked it...and all I had to do the time is push the door open...SON OF A BITCH!!!" Henri screamed

Henri finally crawled out of room 302

"hey why does the hallway look different than normal" Henri asked

"Henri your here" Eileen said

"how did you get through the door" Henri asked

"Oh I Just pushed it open" Eileen said

"MOTHER.." Henri started to scream

Clang

"so happy you could make it" a voice said

(BE) in the dark tower

"So who are you anyway" Pyramid head said tied to his chair

"I am the eater of souls...destroyer of Galaxies...I am as old as time...well maybe not that last one" the voice said

"but who are you...REALLY!" Pyramid head asked

"well I might as well show you" The voice said as it took off a hood

"No..it isn't possible" Pyramid head said as he looed in horror

"it is...and soon the universe will be MINE! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" The voice laughed

END OF CHAPTER

Who is this mystery man...who is talking to Henri...what happened to James thes question will be answered...soon. for the story is almost over

But now it is time for the polls I have already voted and so has Sephiroth, Shadow and Kuja the standings are

James:1

Henri:0

Walter:3

Walter: WHOOOO I AM WINNING THIS JOB IS AS GOOD AS MINE!

Darkcomet: Don't count on it yet...the reviewers can vote as well...so vote. Who should be my new assistant James, Henri, or Walter. Please vote today via Review or message and I mean everybody...come on don't be shy. I say you should vote now.

Finally I have almost been here a year...and I have finally used the stats button on my profile page...took me that long. I would like to thank of course Schrieberjoe my first Reviewer I greatly appreciate how you helped me organize...so if you are reading this, thank you. I would also like to thank Megfallow my loyal reviewer...if you haven't read her story cute baby pyramid head fun it is awesome.

I would also like to thank those who have me favorited, arella16, Lxshr, Rougethebat-shadowthehedgehog, josephfrostlava91, khpwnage, GinKyofu13 , and Rainbow Octopuses On My Shoes. I have tried my best this pat year...and if I have my way I am far from done. So keep reading I have one last card up my sleeve none of you will see coming, until next time

Sephiroth: uhhh...dark you relise you just made that speech to yourself...as in it is late at night no is reading this right now.

Darkcomet: Oh well it has ben said...I can't wait for these people to see how this little tale of mine ends

Sephiroth: whatever night everbody

Darkcomet: until nextime


	29. the showdown

Chapter 29

the beggining of the end

Disclaimer: Almost one year and still I don't own anything

"glad you could make it" Walter said

"whew...I thought I had something to worry about for a second...but you are on the other side of those bars...so I feel safe" Henri said

"well theoretically I cant't HIT you but I can SHOOT you" Wlater said whipping out his two pistols

"Eileen I have a new plan...dive back into..." as Henri was about to finish the sentence the door to room 302 shut

"I say new plan to jump into that OTHER room...about...nowish" Henri said as thye doded counteless bullets and went inside the guy with the guns room (honestly I don't know his name)

"WHOA HENRI LOOK GUNS!" Eileen said

"yeah I have been here before...they are all fake" Henri said

"even this sub machine gun?" Eileen asked

"yes even the..."

bangbangbangbang

"sub machine gun" Henri finished in shock

"sweet!" Eileen said

"Damn! Why wasn't that here before?" Henri said

"well finders keepers losers bitches" Eileen said

"that...was uncalled for" Henri said starting to cry

"why did we hae to go along with this" a voice was heard

"because I knew that Kuja would ask for me again" another voice was heard

"stand back Henri" eileen said

"no prob I have seen enough shit for today anyway" Henri said

one of those upside down twin monsters came up the staircase that they did not notice in the room

it noticed Eileen

"wasn't walter supposed to kill you by now?" one of the voices that sounded like it was coming from it's ass said

"screw it let's kill her" it charged and was immenently gunned down by the smg.

"shit...I wish I had that gun" Henri said

"well let's keep moving...bitch" Eileen said

"just you wait Eileen" Henri said under his breath as he walked down the stairs

Kuja entered the room

"SORA! you screwed up again...this is why you have not been here half the time...looks as though I have to get my hands dirty...damn" Kuja said

after walking through a trecherous maze of apartments passing through Eileens room...getting shot at by Walter...Henri getting shot in the ass by Walter, they reached the bottom floor..

"so what is here on the bottom floor?" Eileen asked

"what are you retarded...WE BOTH LIVE HERE! You Know what is on the bottom floor!" Henri said frustrated

"can we go to the supers room?" eileen asked

"that is probably where we have to go anyway" Henri said

When they got there

"Damn either there is some bad mojo in this building...or Frank is one parnoid son of a bitch" Henri said

franks door was chained up

"Hey Eileen there are two hallways on this floor...could you search one while I search this one...don't worry I unlocked all of the door last time I was here" Henri said

"wait what...last time you were here when the hell was that?" Eileen said

"probably...6 hours ago" Henri said

"so...you don't think people are smart enough to notice...that something unlocked their doors?" Eileen said

"again you should know the answer to that." Henri said

"true...the people who live here are some of the dumbest people who ever lived" Eileen said as she wentinto the other hallway to search

"what the hell is this thing?" Henri said looking down the hallway and seeing a weird cacoon thing

"I wonder what happens if I touch it?" Henri said

"I told you having sex in the jaccuzzi would get us in trouble...know I have to be a dad!" a voice screamed

"Damn that was weird...and what did that do anyway?" Henri thought

he went into another room and there was another

Henri touched it again

"You know having a kid might not be so bad...now I have a legal slave" the same voice from before said

"that guy sounds like such a dick...but familiar" henri thought

He explored a little more and found another

"DAMN! where is the pizza delivery boy!" the same voice said

"now what the hell did that have to do with anything!" Henri said angry

As he walked through the hallway back to franks room

"Hey some of the chains are gone" Henri said

"I wonder how Eileen is doing?" Henri said walking over to the lobby

there he saw something pretty freaking weird

"momma...momma...momma...momma" Eileen reapeatedly chanted while looking down

"I really should have her checked out" Henri said walking into the other hallway

"well lookie here" Henri said noticing another cacoon said

"DAMN! this kid is stupid...Walter why can't you be more like..." the same voice said

"well that one made sense...but still who is this guy?" Henri said

He went into an empty room

he then went into a room filled with horny apes...funny stuff there

He then finally went into a room with two cacoons

"Walter as I was saying...why can't you be more like your brother" The voice said again

"well I want to find out who said brother is" Henri said walking over to the last cacoon

"You know...your brother...I forget his name. I hope you understand that is why we are leaving you here" The voice ended

"DAMN! I wanted to know" Henri said walking back to the supers room and seeing Eileen in the middle of the lobby

"come on...let's go" Henri said to her

"Momma...Momma...Momma...Momma" she kept chanting

"hmmm.." Henri thought

Henri silently krept up behind her and reached into her pocket and stole her smg

"Score!" He thought

"I'll be back eileen" Henri said running off to the supers room

as he left Kuja walked into the lobby

"...what in the hell is her problem?" Kuja said very confused

"the door is open...now to see what shit I can steal" Henri thought when he walked into franks room

"well there isn't much of valu...wait what is in this little box over here...could be jewlry" Henri thought

He opened the box

"whahoooIamfreeeIamfreeyeahyeahyeahyeah!" Screamed an umbilicol cord very quickly as it ran around the room like mad

"thankyouthankyouIloveyouIloveyou!" It kept running

"damn is this thing on drugs on something?" Henri said

"byebyeIgottagodosomefreethingsnowseeya!" It screamed as it ran off

"uhhh...I don't know what the hell just happened but I had better go get eileen" Henri said heading for the lobby

"welcome Henri" Kuja said

"Oh...you again...what do you want?" Henri said

"we have her...so come and get her" Kuja said pointing to James with a giant welp on his head from where he fell in the hole

"So...take her see if I care...she was a nusense anyway" Henri said

"Fine...but I am still going to kill you" Kuja said going trance Kuja

a bell rang

"saved by the bell Henri" Kuja said as him and james ran back upstairs

the apartment started to shake

"come back here with my booty call" Henri screamed as he chased them even though HE told them to take her

He eventually made it back to room 302

the door was blown off the henges and all of the demons and Midna were knocked out on the ground

"midna what happened?" Henri asked

"what the hell DOES IT LOOK LIKE HAPPENED!" Midna screamed

"I give up what does it look like" Henri said

"We just got our asses kicked...but payback is a bitch..and so am I!" Midna screamed as she ran through the hole made by henri

"wait!" Henri said but before he went in

"I am going to swing by Richards room for a second" Henri said

he went and then came back

"sweet Richard had revolvers...3 of them...and this weird lamp thing" Henri said as he walked inside the hole

"ewww...what is this black puddle?" Henri said as he stepped on it

"what the...WHOAAA!" He screamed as he fell in

"where am I and why is everything red...and why is there a black puddle in the middle of the room?" Henri asked as he went into that puddle as well

"hello Henri a voice said" walter said

"why did you say a voice said?" Henri asked

"I wanted to be mysterious" Walter said

"well you suck at it" Henri said

"Mr. Townshend...welcome to my underground lair" Walter said

"what is that thing in the middle?" Henri asked

"oh that, that is my whirling machine of death and pain...good for crushing ice...and bones" Walter said

"let me guess you are going to push me into it?" Henri said

"no...she is going to walk into it" Walter pointed to Eileen

"you son of a bitch you brain controled her" Henri said

"No not really...she just walked up there and started to move twords it...I think she is on drugs" Walter said

"well I am going to kill you" Henri said

"wait before you do...I must go into my long speech about why I have tried to kill you wasting whatt seems to be at least 10 minuets but really only a few moments...you know you had one in the first chapter" Walter said

"allright...but then I am going to kill you" Henri said

"It all started about 20 years ago...maybe more...but none the less in room 302..." Walter said

"I said in room 302" walter said annoyed

nothing happened

"DAMNIT JAMES CUE THE WAVEY FLASHBACK STUFF!" Walter yelled

"sorry!" James screamed

"anyway like I was saying it started in room 302" Walter said as the wavey flashback stuff came in

(BE) flashback in room 302

"I told you having sex in the jaccuzzi would get us in trouble...know I have to be a dad!" A rather fat balding man said looking at little Walter

"but you already have a son." a rather skinny woman said in a high pitched voice

they were sitting in room 302 with all sorts of boxes. It looked as though they were moving

"You know having a kid might not be so bad...now I have a legal slave" the fat man said

"who?" The woman said

"not this one" the man said pointing at Walter

"DAMN! where is the pizza delivery boy!" the fat man screamed

"you didn't order pizza" the woman said

"oh." the man said

"dada" Lil' Walter said

"DAMN! this kid is stupid...Walter why can't you be more like... your brother..." He started to say

"I forget his name though" he said

"Honey we never named him" the woman said

"how about..Henri" the man said

"great H-E-N-R-Y" The woman said

"no spell it with an I stands for intellegent" the man said

"sounds more like idiot coming from you" the woman said

"shut the hell up and let's get going...bye Walter I hope we never meet again" they said as they left

"Bastard" Lil Walter said in a very sqeaky voice

(BE) in the present

"so now you know" Walter said

"damn that did feel like a long time...how long was it?" Henri asked

"that's it...no I'm sorry for abandoning you...or I am such an asshole" Walter said angry

"well I ran away at the first chance...well that would be a lie...they just never mentioned you" Henri said

"Up yours Henri" Walter screamed and turned into a shadow and a giant monster appeared behind them

"now I cannot be hurt while that monster is alive you have no hope...HAHAHAHAH!" Walter started to laugh

"yeeehaw!!!funfunfufnfunfunfunfunfunfunfun!" screamed the umbilical cord as it flew out of Henri's pocket and into the monsters throat chocking it

Henri then grabed nearby spears and stabbed them all into the monster thus killing it

Walter faded back to Normal

"Damnit...I thought that plan was perfect" Walter said

"oh well you can't do anything to me any...hey what are you going to do with those revolvers" walter said

"let me read the instructions" Henri said

He pulled out one bullet and put it in one of three revolvers...he then rubbed the lamp he found in richards room

smoke then filled the room

"who has summoned me?" said a young revolver Ocelot

"uhhh...me" Henri said raising his hand

"allright" Ocelot said as he grabbed the revolvers and started ot juggle them

"see how I am doing this..it is amazing huh?" ocelot asked

"sure" Henri said confused

"now...each of you pick one gun" Ocelot said holding the three guns

they both picked one

"now shoot until one of you fires they are the winner...nowdon't bother me again" Ocelot said as he went inside the lamp again

"allright fine...draw" Walter said

many clickings were heard

BANG

Henri's gun fired...Walter was shot

"OW!...you shot me int the arm you A-hole!" Walter screamed

"sorry" Henri said

"Just wait I will kill you Henri!" Walter said

clapping was heared..then the lights went out

"what the hell...JAMES!" Walter yelled

"I didn't do it" James said

"neither did I" Kuja said

the death machine stopped whirring...and a single light came on near the platform Eileen was on

"greetings" said the cloaked figure

"who the hell are you and what are you doing in my house" Walter said

"my house" Henri corrected him

"I am here to kill all of you harvest your souls and then take over you little world here" the figure said

"you mean town" James said

"whatever...now I offer you the oppertunity to join me" the voice said

"no...I think you are one of those gay cults" Henri said

"fine...then I will just take thes fine women back to my castle and have my way with them" the voice said as it pointed to a portal and Eileen, Ashley, Namine, and Yuna were inside

"give back my booty call!" Henri screamed

"you bastard!" Kuja screamed

"ASHLEY!" James screamed

"Oh! You are dead buddy!" Walter said

"well make your choice...I will be waiting. Oh and when I said take over...I meant destroy in a most violent way, blood explosion extrodinare you know. You have 2 hours" the figure turned away

"who are you?" James asked

"oh right" the figure said

"you know who I am." The figure said as it removed his hood

"sweet jesus!" Henri screamed

"that is correct I am..."

END OF CHAPTER

Who is the hooded man? there are only 2 chapters left so be ready, the hooded man will make things interesting. By the Way the polls are still walter winning... so please vote don't make this a land slide victory. If you don't vote it might take me a while to update...but if you do, oh I don't know I might update quicker. remember the cantidates are James, Henri, and, Walter. Time is running out. so until next time.


	30. End of the World part 1

Chapter 30

End of the world pt.1

Disclaimer:I still do not own silent hill or anything said in this story.

"who are you?" James asked

"oh right" the figure said

"you know who I am." The figure said as it removed his hood

"sweet jesus!" Henri screamed

"that is correct I am..."

Dramatic pause as he pulls off his hood

"I am.."

we interrupt this message with a public service announcement

a weird guy in glasses walks on the screen

"at exactaly noon an invasion of angry wood peckers will be set free by an evil cake factory...reasons are unknown, but one thing is for certain...we are all going to die"

Dum Dum DUUUM

"now back to your regularlly schedueled program" the man says as he is immediately attacked by wood peckers

(back to the story)

"Uhhhh...O.K. Now let me try this again" the man in the cloak said as he put his hood back on

The wind begins to blow (inside of a building) and you can hear hearts racing

The man pulls his hood off again

"It's-a-me Mario!" Mario said standing there

"wait what the hell?" Henri said

"Why the hell are you here?" Walter said

"I Want the universe and this is my first stop...to universal domination...ness" Mario said as he ran through a portal with the women

"my ass!" Walter said as he jumped in after him

"Bring Ashley back!" James screamed as Walter jumped in

"Oh no you don't sissy" Kuja said as he grabbed James and threw him in the portal

"So am I going to have to throw you in as well?" Kuja asked

"no I will go quietly" Henri said as he walked to the teleporter

"good boy" Kuja said as he walked there too

(insert awesome colorful effects)

"Ow!" James said standing up

"well it seems we must all work together" Walter said

"Walter we already worked together...except Henri" Kuja said

"Gee I wonder why...I mean it's not like my own brother tried to KILL me or anything!" Henri said

"Let's put the past behind us...no need to harbor a grudge" Walter said

"OH now that is reassuring...no need to harbor a grudge...that is the pot calling the kettle black, you held a grudge agains me for two decades!" Henri said angry

"well if you don't like it I could kill you right now!" Walter shot back

"bring it on you son of a bitch" Henri said

"HEY! we need to be on the same page here...ow shake hands and apologize!" Kuja said trying to straighten things out

"well...Hey bro...you want revenge on mom and dad by killing me right?" Henri asked

"yeah, your point being" Walter said

"Well I hate them as well so how about after we kill this tubby psychoo we can go kill THEM together like brothers" Henri said

"sounds like a plan." Walter said then began to look around

"where are we?" Walter asked

"I don't know...but we are standing on a burnt cliff with the sky being blood red" Kuja said

"creepy" Henri said

"Where did James go?" Kuja asked

"uh-oh" Walter said as he ran foward

"where is he going?" Henri asked

"honestly...I stopped asking myself that" Kuja said as he ran after him

"great" Henri said as he followed them

James was standing near another edge of the cliff

"James what are you...were in the hell are we" Walter asked looking off the cliff

Kuja catches up and looks as well

Henri eventually makes it

"Damn you are slow" Walter said

"Oh sorry, I have just been spending the whole day FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE!" Henri said

"well get a load at this" James said pointing off of the cliff

at the bottom of the cliff was a boiling lake of lava

"how...cliche" Kuja said

"that's for damn sure" Henri said

"So how are we going to cross the only way seems to be that very dangerous bridge" James said pointing to a bridge where explosions, screams, and fire...is happening all at once

"Well we tried...time to go and wait till the apocolipse" Walter tried to leave before Kuja grabbed him

"does this mean we have to..." Walter started to say

"yep...it sure does" Kuja said

They then crossed the bridge where James was lit on fire...twice, Walter was caught in a massive explosion but unhurt somehow, Henri just curled up into a fetal position and sucked his thumb for about 30 seconds and Kuja...well he just laughed at everybody else.

"hey (pant) guys look over there...there was a nice safe walkway" James said

"to hell with it let's just go inside" Henri said as they all walked into the door

a bunny then hopped onto the safe passway...when lazers, razors, tazers, and a horny version of Bob dole showed up...the bunny was hyper dead...as in overkill x9

(BE) in Marios quarters

"they are coming inside...I need a distraction while the pasta beam charges" Mario said pacing

"well my leige...wait pasta beam?" Seymore said

"It is a legitimate beam...only it shoots very painful...very destructive laser beams all over the place" Mario said

"but why the pasta beam?" Seymore said

"I was hungry when I made it...you know I only eat pasta...I even hate that cake that tramp of a wife cooks me...I mean my slave wife heh heh" Mario chuckled

"Sir!" Max said as he appeared in the room with Mario and Seymore

"I have a plan...the reanimation" Max said

"Oh, you have someone in mind?" Mario said

"yes I do" Max grinned

(BE) in the lobby of Marios castle

"wait guys isn't Mario just from a video gam and we are from the real world?" Henri asked

"sure...just keep telling yourself that" Walter said

"Hey look a turtle" James said pointing at a koopa troopa

"why is everybody afraid of these things in this world...they just walk around" Henri said

"Allright spread um" The turtle said in a gruff Military voice...and he whipped out a shot gun

"whoo shit" Walter said putting his hands behind his head

all the others did as well

suddenly hundreds of turles surrounded them..with guns

When Henri woke up he was in a jail cell with Walter and James

"where are we?" Henri asked

"in the dungeon" Walter said

"all's I told the turtle is that he was a dumb reptile...then the began to beat us" James said

"where is that other guy?" Henri said

"who, Kuja...Don't know" Walter said

"who are you people?" a voice said from another prison cell

"No way pal...I am not going to be a prison bitch again" Walter said

"Are you here to kill Mario?" the voice asked

"who wants to know" James says

"dumbass" Henri mutters under his breath

"I want to know...my name is Wario" Wario said stepping from the shodows

"you mean that fat ass villian from super Mario land 2" Walter said

"quiet and I will tell you the tale of our people." Wario said

"a long time ago we lived peacefully under the rule of Bowser...a very kind and giving man he was. Until one day that monster Mario showed up and killed the whole army and attempted to take bowsers life. He then relised his adventures were over after he killed bowser so he looked in magazines...he eventually heard of a game called the Doki Doki panic...he went to that land and ate the soul of the main cast there...and put himself in. When Bowser attempted to build a reble force made of his children and the survivors of Marios previous attack to rescue the princess Mario marched to Bowsers land of flowers and butterflies...no it was not fire and lava, but there were tanks. I just lived in my castle in the count side while this happened...When Mario came and beat me up, threw me out of my castle,and raped my wife Linda. Ever since then Mario has been growing old and he eats the souls of a games entire cast to keep himself young...as for us we are to forever lose in his party games, lose in sports, lose everything...you play Mario party and stuff like that...we are really chained up when we play that game...and if we do win we get beat like slaves...Our existence sucks" Wario said

"O.K. repeat that...I wasn't paying attention" Walter said as James played tic tac to with Henri on the floor

"Just please go kill Mario" Wario said

"can do" Walter said as he heard an explosion and saw Kuja standing where the door to their cell was

"where would you guys be without me?" Kuja asked

"dead somewhere" James said

"where are the girls?" Henri asked

"Oh I freed them first and told them where the portal was" Kuja said

"damn glory stealer" Henri said as they began to sneak through the castle surprisingly not getting caught

When they were a few rooms away from the throne room

"hold it right there" Max said appearing

"Oh you again...I forgot about you" Henri said

"I know I am out numbered...but I have some backup..come on" Max said

"Hyuk...nice to see you hyuk again James" Goofy said coming from the ever omnipresent shadows

"Oh it is that crack addicted dog again...I thought I killed you" James said

"Now fight us" Max said

"Hey Walter, Henri, you guys go on me and James will handle this" Kuja said

"are you sure?" Henri asked

"yeah it is a couple of crack addicted dogs...as a matter of fact I bet we will be there right on time to save your asses" James said

"Amen to that" Kuja said

"allright lets go" Walter said as him and Henri ran twords the throne room

"so James which do you want...the older one or the ninja?" Kuja asked

"the older one" James said pulling out his plank

They charged they crack dogs

Henri and Walter then made it to the throne room

"so you are here to stop me" Mario said

"no..we are here to help you...of course we are here to stop you dumbass" Henri said

"sheesh you don't have to be rude about it" Mario said

"actually he is in a cranky mood...I have been trying to kill him all day...then seemingly out of nowhere you show up saying you are going to take over the universe" Walter said

"well none the less...I can't let you live" Mario said as he grabbed a flower

"that's it...that's your weapon...HA this is going to be easy!" Henri said

"uh...bro..I think you might want to.." Walter started to say as Mario shot a fireball at Henri

"bastard...Henri said whipping out his bat and hitting Mario in the head

"Ha ha ha! it won't be that easy" Mario said as he kicked Henri across the room

"Damn..pointless crossovers" Henri said getting up

"take this you bastard" Walter said lunging at Mario and missing only to be hit by a fireball

"this is way to easy" Mario said

"we can't touch him...gasp" Henri said

Mario was standing over them with a fireball charged up

"say goodnight" Mario said

"well looks like the end...goodbye world...I always hated you" Walter said

"Not so fast" Kuja screamed as he hit mario in the back

"We've been watching for a few minuets" James said

"then why wait till now to help!" Henri screamed

"because I feel dramatic timing is everything" Kuja said

"shut up and taste fire...ohhhh" Mario screamed as he fell to the ground

"allright everybody grab a weapon...and start whaking like he is a piniata" Walter said as they all drew blunt instuments.

about 10 minuets later

"man that was fun" James said

"Hey...you guys...we just saved the universe" Henri said

"yeah whatever...can we go home now" James said

a bloody and battered Mario crawled up to his throne

"SEYMORE COME TO ME!" Mario screamed

"yes master" Seymore said

"stall them until I get more energy...use all your power" Mario said

"yes sir..FULL POWER!" seymore screamed

"damn I thought it was over" Kuja said

"it looks like it just got worse" Henri said

"I am at a power level you have never felt before." Seymore gloated

"hey you weirdo...what do you think this is Dragon ball Z or something" Walter said

"now prepare to..." Seymore started to say

Mario bit Seymore on his neck

"what...what are you doing master?" Seymore struggled to say

"sucking out you soul...along with all of your power...you told me you would serve me no matter what the cost was for you" mario said when he was finished

"no...no...I can't...die" Seymore said as he faded away into a ball of light...which went into Mario's stomach

"...Now that...Was some straight up Dracula shit" Walter said

"heh heh heh..HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mario began to laugh

"Guys I have a bad feeling about this" James said

"We are so going to die" Walter said

"well life...it has been nice knowing you" Henri said

Mario was then surrounded by shadow...he then began to turn black

"what is happening Kuja?" James asked

"he is transforming" Kuja said

"How predictable" Walter said

"Why are we standing here?" James asked

"good question" Henri said as the castle began to shake

"I vote we run" James said

Mario began to morph and grow

"I second it" Kuja said as they all ran

when they made it outside the castle exploded

and floating there was a ball of shadow

a figure emerged from said ball

It was a giant version of mario in red Seymore clothes...and Seymores hair, and horns

"all for one right?" Henri asked

"right" James said

"all the way" Kuja said

"hell no...I am out of...I mean yes" Walter said as they ran twords the giant Mario

END OF CHAPTER

Only one left...oh how will it end...just wait and find out. The election is still under way and the results so far are on my profile page so you can see who is winning there.

It has been a while but we have a question it is from Jayktt it reads "Why is James such an idiot?"

Walter: does he really want to open that door?

Kuja: yes...yes he does

James: I are not an Idiot

Henri: Probably ate paint chips when he was a kid

Frank: He is stupid because I constantly hit him in the head with things...like base ball bats

James: Why would you do that dad

Frank: Because you shit on my favorite chair

Well there you have it early child abuse in retalitation for pooing on a chair I hope that answers the question. Well until next time.


	31. End of the World part 2

Chapter 31

End of the World pt. 2

Disclaimer: One year, and I still don't own anything

We last left our heroes charging a giant Mario/Seymore Monster

"HA HA HA...You hope will be crushed...just like your bones" the giant Mario/Seymore gloated

"Honestly...that was freaking lame" Walter said

"wha...oh you ae going to get it now" Mario/Seyore boomed as he held out his hand and shot a fireball

"WOW! has he got that gay dudes abilities?" James asked

"No you dumbass, Mario could always shoot fire balls" Henri said

"Well I have an idea...we should" Kuja started to say as he was kicked by the monster and was knocked unconcious

"well...that sure changes things" James said

"We're boned" Walter said

"Not yet...we have to belive...we can do anything if we fell we can do it and really try" Henri said

"That was the DUMBEST shit I have ever heard...but it is our only hope" Walter said

"wait...so what are we doing now?" James asked

"Kicking some fat plumber ass!" Henri said as he ran as Walter and James Followed

Mario/Seymore swung his hand and batted them easily to the side

"OW MY BONES!" James screamed

"OW MY HOPE!" Henri screamed

"HA! he can't kill me unless he could send my spirit to the after life" Waltr laughed

"Actually I can do that" the monster said

"Son of bitch" Walter said

"Prepare to meet your doom!" the monster screamed

"Well...hopefully this won't hurt to much" James said

"James...buddy...WE ARE ABOUT TO BE STOMPED ON!" Henri yelled

"Yeah this is going to hurt like a son of a bitch" Walter said

a faint screameing could be heard

"what the hell?" Henri said

"where is that coming from?" Walter asked

"heywhyareyougoingtohurttheguywhosavedmeyoubigmeanieIamgoingtobiteya" The umbilical cord said very fast as it appeared on the Monsters arm...and indeed he did bite him

"OW! FEEL MY WRATH WORM!" Mario screamed as he shot a fireball at his arm but missed the worm and just hit his arm

"youraimsuckssonowIamgoingtogoontopofyourheadandmakeyoudoitagain!" The cord said fast again

"what did it say?" Walter asked

"I have a better question...what is it?" James said

"It is your umbilical cord Walter" Henri said

"Oh yeah Frank took it...I swapped mine out with James" Walter said

"so that is...?" Henri started to say

"Yes, James's Umbilical cord" Walter said

Mario just shot himself in the head

"nowforthebigfinish" the cord said as it went down between Marios legs

"Ahh trapped like a rat"Mario said as he fired a fire ball...but missed and hit his little buddies

"OW!" Mario said in a high pitched voice as he glowed white and vanished

"So...we couldn't do it but a worm could?" James said confused

"JamesIamnotawormIamyourumbilicalcordandIrepresentyourinnerintelligence" the cord said fast

"pleas say that slowwer" James said

"James I am not a worm I am you umbilical cord and I represent you inner in" it started to say when Marios boddy laded on it killing it immedietly

"oh well all's well that ends well" James said

"not quite, how do we get out of here?" Henri asked

"hey guys" Kuja said walking up

"Kuja...what happened to you?" Walter said

"Oh he kicked me...and then instead of helping I built a teleporter out of a tree and some rocks to get the hell out of here...but you guys killed him so...it's all good" Kuja said

"good so let's get out of here" Henri said

"You guys go...I'll be there in a second" Walter said Spying Seymore and Mario's bodies

about 10 minuets later

"damn where is Walter" James said

"I don't know" Kuja said

"Hey guys" Walter said as he walked up wearing Mario's hat

"where were you?" Henri asked

"turn on the radio" Walter said

a female anchorwoman came on

"the bodies a a chubby man and what looks to be the leader of a gay pride parade were found today in the woods of silent hill. The police were called by an unkown caller. the numbers 20121 and21121 were carved into their heads...police are looking for suspects as we speak" with that the radio turned off

"Walter...you sneaky bastard" James said

and there was much celebration

3 mounths later

"are you sure this is the place?" Walter asked

"Bro relax...they live here" Henri said

Knock knock

"Henri is that you" Henri's mother said

"Hello...mommie" Walter said

"Wa...Wa...Walter" she studdered

"hey mommie...remember when you and daddy left me in that room to die? well I am going to have my revenge...in the form of hacking up your body parts and feeding them to wild hogs" Walter said pulling out a knife

"Henri are you going to let him do this to us?" She said frightened

"No...I'm not going to let him do this to you alone...I'm going to help" Henri said as he pulled out a meat cleaver

"Cleaver...nice" Walter said as they entered the house

let me just say I can't say what happened but there were a lot of happy hogs

1 mounth with that

"Namine you are breaking up with me?" Walter said

"Walter...it would have never worked out" she said

"why not?" He said

"I'm not real!" she screamed

"then how come everybody else could see you?" Walter said

"fine...I just used you to get some action...I used you for sex" Namine said

"damn...I normally tell women that" Walter said

"well I got to get home to my husband...you know him, Roxas" she said as she left

"damn...that's a bummer" Walter said

The next day Namines house mysteriously exploded and killed all inside

1 year later

everybody met at a very fancy resteraunt...where James and Ashley had their first date

"so Kuja where is Yuna?" Walter asked

"Oh we split up...something about black magic is bad or some shit like that" Kuja said

"So Henri how is the marrige going?" James asked

"well at first I thought getting Married to Eileen was a big mistake, because of the whole possed by crazy P.M.S. bitch, but we went and saw a voodo priest and he pulled that evil bitch right out" Henri said

"good for you henri" Ashley said

"yeah...but that hurt like hell" Eileen said

"were did he pull it out of?" Kuja asked

"first he tried the nose...then the mouth...but he got her out through the ears" Henri said

"so how are things going with you James...as a matter of fact why did you invite us here...as a matter of fact didn't we just see each other last week?" Eileen said

"yeah I mean we do live in the same damn building, and Walter does live with us" Henri said

"yeah we just talked about alll of this stuff yesterday" Kuja said

"...uhhhhh" James said

"James you look like you want to say something" Kuja said

"Ashley...willyoumarryme?" James said really fast

"what did you say I didn't understand" Ashley said

"yes James please speak clear" Henri said

"Ashley will you..." James started to say

James could hear his heart beat

everybody ws looking at him...except for Walter who was picking his nose and checking out the waitress across the room

"Marry me?" James finished

"YES!" She hugged James

"Oh honey I love you" James said

"wait are you only asking me this because you are pregnant?" Ashley asked

"um...Ashley you are the one who has to be pregnant" Eileen said

"oh...then YES! Oh James I want you right now!" She said as she got up onto of the table

"yep match made in heaven this one is" Kuja said

"right now?" James said

"get up here" She said as she pulled him on to the table

"allright dinner and a show" Walter said with his full attention to James and Ashley now

"there not really going to do it are they?" Eileen asked

"relax it will only take 30 seconds" Kuja said

a few seconds passed

"yeah I'm leaving" Kuja said

so they left them alone...except for Walter who sat there and watched them, and picked his nose

6 mounths later

at the wedding reception

a band was performing dreams of absolution (yep had to get that in there one last time)

"well this sure wa one hell of a year eh?" Kuja asked

"yeah...and so was last yer" Henri said

"Hey where is walter?" Kuja asked

"over there getting drunk" Henri said

they were sitting at the main table with the bride and groom

"James I have something to tell you" Ashley said

"O.K. what is it?" James asked

"well...I'm pregnant" Ashley said

"congratulations...who is the father?" James asked

"...you are" She said

"you mean that..."

"yes" she said happily

"Oh...this is the happiest day of my life...hey would you go get Walter for me honey?" James asked

"Why?" She asked

"I want to tell him" James said

"O.K. then" she got up and ran off

"Kuja I am in some deep shit" James said

"what is it?" He asked

"She's pregnant!" James said

"...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kuja laughed

"have fun with that" Henri said

"Henri I have something to say" Eileen said

"yeah...go ahead" Henri said

"I'm pregnant too"

"wha..wha...what?" Henri said

"THIS KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!" Kuja was laughing so hard at this point

"well...if I am going down...at least I am taking someone with me" James said

6 mounths later

Henri and Eileen had their baby and they named it Harry

But Ashley is having her as I speak

"AHHHH OW OW!" she screamed

"Honey that looks painfull" James said

"NO SHIT IT LOOKS PAINFULL!" she screamed

"here it is" the doctor said

"what is it?" James asked

"It's a girl" the doctor said

"she's beautiful" Ashley said

"not really" James said

"what is going to be her name?" The Doctor asked

"can I name her?" James asked

"yes James you can" Ashley said

"O.K., It is going to be...Heather. Heather Mason Sunderland" James said

"that didn't take you long" Ashley said

"I Have had time" James said

"Hello...Heather" James said

END OF STORY

Well the end is here and yes there is going to be a third one based off the third game. I will post it eventually...but My friend suggest I try something other than Silent Hill so if any of you have any Ideas let me know and I will give it a whirl. Well the election has a tie James and Walter so I will decide someway. But this story was fun and I finished it on the day I joined which is cool to me. So if you have any suggestions just let me know and I will see you all soon.

Also Thanks to all of my reviewers and freinds for giving me inspiration.


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